Dear Amy,
I don't really know how to tell you this, your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants in your closet and I saw you sit on your 'My Little Pony' collection. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Warm tingly sensations,
Janne.


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Here's how you do it
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning ( 8 ) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When we skinny-dipped in the bath tub
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When I saw the purple monkey
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8 ) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Gr

Okay.



EDWARD and NICHKHUN are both pale pale white.

EDWARD is good-looking, while NICHKHUN is GORGEOUS!

EDWARD and NICHKHUN both have hot bodies.

EDWARD and NICHKHUN both have impossibly good manners.

EDWARD has an extremely attractive smell and NICHKHUN probabaly does too, but I haven't smelt him yet.

EDWARD's full name is Edward Anothony Masen Cullen. NICHKHUN's full name is Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul.

EDWARD can speak many languages. NICHKHUN can too.

EDWARD and NICHKHUN both play the piano.

EDWARD is married (shame). NICHKHUN is still single!

EDWARD sparkles, and NICHKHUN shines.

EDWARD was born in 1901 but NICHKHUN was born in 1988

EDWARD loves to eat mountain lion. NICHKHUN loves to eat SamGyupSal (Thickly sliced pork, grilled).

EDWARD went to Forks High School. NICHKHUN went to Los Osos High School.

EDWARD and NICHKHUN both dated older women at 17 years old.



and to conclude..







...








Whatever you may think, EDWARD is not real . ... NICHKHUN is!





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I will add more examples from time to time, and if you still think Edward's better, tell me why and I'll trump you with something about Nichkhun. ;D

L'oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes Mascara
The Twilight Books
INTERNET IN OUR HOUSE
Enchanted Petal Blythe dolly
More Kettle Corn
Pink High Heel phone!!!