Have you ever looked longingly up at the moon and marveled at its majestic  majesty?  The moon and its reflective properties bring feelings of comfort and awe to all who look upon its elegant lunar beauty�but looks can be deceiving. As has been confirmed by fuzzy handheld video footage time and time again, the moon has unleashed a plague on humanity for decades. Whole herds of livestock and countless humans have fallen victim to the terrors known as werewolves.  So feared and horrible are these creatures of myth that we make motion pictures that portray them as ruggedly handsome vampire killing heroes � just so the teenage girls of society can sleep at night. But now, NASA has a plan to eradicate all werewolf infestations everywhere by attacking them at their weakest point and the source of their mutation, the moon. On Friday, October 9, 2009 NASA rammed an unmanned spacecraft and its sensing satellite into the lunar surface at 6,000 miles per hour.  This was simply a training exercise for launching a full scale nuclear assault on our planet�s night light. Join the cause, send your support to NASA and help us rid the earth of the werewolf once and for all.  The moon must be destroyed, only then can we find peace, security and be forever rid of the Twilight Saga. This has been a Stewart Adams Project Public Service Announcement. To learn more information on NASA�s attempt to blow up the moon, visit the internet.

Relationships can be categorized metaphorically by using the 3 methods of atomic bonding that exist in nature.  Sure, its extremely geeky and uber science-esque but helpful and factual none-the-less.  There is a reason why they call the way humans interact romantically, chemistry. Atomic Bonding #1 Covalent Bonding This is the type of bonding where two or more atoms are brought together by a sharing of their valence electrons.  By filling in gaps in their atomic charges, each atom becomes more stable and therefore develops a strong link to the other.  One atoms lack of electrons is balanced out by the others abundance of them the positive and negative charges find equilibrium and both atoms benefit from what could be termed a symbiotic relationshipif only atoms where actually alive. This is an example of a pure, efficient and working relationship.  Both individuals are wholly intact and the strengths of each compliment the other to form an intimate oneness and a mutual benefit to both.  Neither attempts to change the other, they are simply perfect for each other and were obviously created for that purpose. Real life examples: Atomic Bonding #2 Ionic Bonding With Ionic bonding, atoms with strong charges bond with other atoms by gaining and losing their valence electrons. For example, atom #1 has 7 valance electrons and meets up with an atom that has only one.  The first atom has a much stronger pull and so it takes the electron from atom #2.  By doing this the first atom becomes negatively charged (since it just acquired a negatively charged particle) and consequently, the second becomes positively charged (since it just lost a negatively charged particle).  The two opposite charges are then attracted to each other (see basic magnetism) and the bond is complete.  In this case, individual A must first change something about individual B, before the attraction can be made.  This is often a very painful process and can take years to perfect if two people are stubborn enough. In other cases, a person gladly gives up a part of themselves for the good of the relationship. Real life examples: 97.45% of all romantic relationships. Atomic Bonding #3 Metallic Bonding Metallic bonding is often referred to a sharing of free electrons in an electron sea.  Basically some metals bond to other metals simply because they are there.  Often metals are bonded by external means such as hammering and intense heat.  This type of bonding occurs when two people are together and there is no one else around.  This is why every time a man and woman are stranded on a deserted island together, they always fall in love even if they hate each other in the beginning. Pain and beatings (like fire and hammering) tend to speed this bond and the more persecution there is, the more in love the couple will fall. Real life examples: Beauty and the Beast, Petruchio and Katherina , Rhett Butler and Scarlett Ohara, Shrek and Fiona, etc.

The following is a critical dissection of the pop song I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas.  This particular tune is currently being vastly overplayed on Top 40 radio stations across the country and has confirmed beyond all reasonable doubt that song writing and music as an art form have all but vanished into the dark abyss of mindless repetition.  Some of the lyrics have been softened so as not to seem crass or offend any of our younger readers, after all this is a family website. Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling Chorus: I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good, good nightA feeling that tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good, good nightA feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good, good nightA feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good nightThat tonight's gonna be a good, good night V. 1 Tonights the night nightLets live it upI got my moneyLets spend it upGo out and smash itLike oh my goshJump off that sofaLets get get off I know that well have a ballIf we get downAnd go outAnd just loose it allI feel stressed outI wanna let it goLets go way out spaced outAnd losing all control Fill up my cupMozoltovLets paint the townWell shut it downLets burn the roofAnd then well do it again Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do itAnd do it and do it, let's live it upAnd do it and do it and do it, do it, do itLet's do it, let's do it, let's do it.Chorus V. 2 Repeat V. 1, No joke. V. 3 Which is really more like a bridge with key and tempo changes so that the listener can hurry up and get back to the meat of the songthe chorus.Lets live it upLets do itHere we comeHere we goWe gotta rock (Rock rock rock rock)Easy comeEasy goNow we on top (Top top top top)Feel the shotRock it, dont stop (Stop stop stop stop) Um, yes please?Round and roundUp and downAround the clock Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, and ThursdayFriday, SaturdaySaturday to Sunday Nothing like randomly throwing the days of the week into a songthis is top notch lyric writing people. Get get get get get with usYou know what we sayParty every dayPa-pa-pa-party every day Chorus (x2) Conclusion: Just because you put the word good in a song 32 hundred times that doesnt mean the song inherits the meaning of the repeated word.