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Ladies and gentlemen of the 2008 Incoming Masters Program:
Sit up straight.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sitting up straight would be it.
Get to know your thesis supervisor(s). You never know when they're going to go on sabbatical.
Do not read conference papers. They will only make you feel stupid.
Live in town once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live on campus once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Don't waste time forwarding emails. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're not. The M.A. is long and, in the end, you probably won't end up earning as much as your friends who didn't go to Grad School.
You are not as lazy as you think.
Don't worry about deadlines, or worry, but know that worrying is about as effective as trying to convince your supervisor that he or she may be wrong.
Nap.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Food is not free. Professors will belittle. You too, will grow bitter. And when you do, you'll fantasise that when you were a Masters Student, food was free and academics listened to you.
Try to Date.
Maybe you'll graduate, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll contribute to society, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll get a first, maybe you'll drop out and get a life.
Whatever you do, don't work too hard. Your thesis topic is half made up. So is everybody else's.
But trust me on sitting up straight.
largely viciously plagiarised from the endless source of procrastination fun that is PHD Comics
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They say Christmas is for the kids... and considering just how ghastly the whole thing is and just how much I loathe kids, I would tend to agree. Santa definitely had the right idea though; only visit people once a year - and make sure, while you are at it, that you don't actually meet them.
But aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day: a joyful celebration of the birth of Jesus? Isn't it strange how the whole world seems to observe Christ's birthday while absolutely nobody observes his beliefs?
Jesus was a great and radical philosopher. Here was a truly autonomous mind; here was someone who was prepared to do his own thinking, no matter what the price. A Jewish thinker enrolling in the school of the Greek cynics, he drew on traditions of outspokenness, shamelessness and unconventionality. He spoke of anarchy, anti-materialism, and identification with the poor.
His message, quite simply, was that family and personal property must go. Only then could we have peace on earth and goodwill to all men. So we celebrate Christ's birthday by gathering our families together and stockpiling mountains of possessions to wage war on one another over TV schedules and who will clean up.
Gentle Jesus, meek and mild? No one made more trouble than this baby. The ass-like cult of Christianity is the antithesis of the man. Christ was an anti-Christ. He was a true radical.
So do celebrate Christmas, my dears: that season when we remind eachother of the birth, 2007 years ago, of a Jewish revolutionary by giving tacky commodities to the children of people we dislike.
Christ came to save us from sin. You might as well make his birth meaningful by committing them.
Happy Kiss-My-Ass.
Sebastian Horsley
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Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
or not...
howeyeh luv! me missa ur joka!
I Am 0 Replysso much more emo then just clicking a button........love it,cherish it,hold it tight...
Ehh Legend 0 Replys