Bebo

All you have to do is copy, paste, and fill it in. What could be easier?
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Could you ever love me?
6. Have you ever wanted to punch me?
7. Give me a nickname and explain why?
8. Describe me in one word?
9. What was your first impression of me?
10. Do you still think the same?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me (if in doubt take the quiz)?
14. What do you like best about me?
15. When was the last time you saw me?
16. Ever wanted to tell me something you couldn’t?
17. Anything to say before you go?
18. Are you going to post this on your blog and see what I think of you?

Three Q Quiz
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Play on stage.
2. Go travelling.
3. Have a relationship that's not a planecrash. xD

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Kyle
2. Feet
3. "Oi, prick"

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Eyes
2. Hair
3. Ahahahaha Hands

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Scottish
2. My mother was born in Germany. >_> Yay army kids. =O
3. Well, Scottish are descended from the Irish, technically...=D

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Heights
2. Eggs (not so much scare me, as physically repulse, but they're much and such the same thing, tbh)
3. Being alone

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. MP3 Player
2. Phone
3. Witty banter! =D

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Underwear. Duh. xD
2. My ring.
3. Trousers.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Tool
2. Smashing Pumpkins
3. System of a Down

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Stinkfist - Tool
2. Aerials - System of a Down
3. Gravity - Dresden Dolls

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. A similar sense of humour
2. Intelligence
3. Keira Knightley Trust. >_> xD

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I've pulled more guys than most of my female friends
2. I'm rarely seen without my hat
3. I don't consider myself a nice person

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. Playing my geetarz.
2. Partying with my friends.
3. Reading. <333

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Smoke.
2. Party.
3. You. =)

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Rock star (living the dream, baybeh. >_>)
2. Journalist
3. Script writer/editor

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Holland
2. Canada
3. Japan

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Kyle, obviously. xD
2. Alex (for both genders, but particularly female. Alexandria = win. xD)
3. Shamus. =O

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I love a good bitch.
2. I hate fighting.
3. I like cleanliness.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I have a cock. xD
2. I'm constantly thinking about, saying or doing filthy things.
3. I'm good at guarding my emotions to most people.

Welcome back, my readers, and welcome to another instalment of “KYLE TELLS IT HOW IT IS”, my little attempt at entertainment on Bebo by brutally insulting anything that does not conform to my world image. Last time we looked at MySpace, the disgusting whores that populate it, and the lengths they would go to in order to gain a thin veneer of internet popularity. Full of vitriol and satirical rage, it was nevertheless light hearted and, hopefully, hilarious.

However, this article is about something that I do love, and yet hate so much. A lot of my friends do it, you can't do it in public places and it's inappropriate for small children to do it (yet a lot of them do it anyway).

Yes, it's obviously smoking.

…what did you think, you filthy bastards?

(ok, I lied last time)

Volume 3: Smoking, Smokers and Non-Smokers
or: *cough hack wheeze ARRRRRGH dead*

Don't you just hate it when a smoker is lecturing somebody? "Don't start, it's a filthy habit, I would quit but I'm too addicted." God, it's like Hitler telling the BNP they're a teensy bit racist. If you hate smoking so much, for God's sake get help. Go to the Doctor's. Get a nicorette. Fucking duct-tape your mouth shut. I'd go for the latter option myself. Not only does it stop you from smoking, it means you can shut your whiny traps as well.

Don't get me wrong, a part of me does despise smoking. It costs far too much, it will probably kill me before I achieve my goal of dying of a sex related heart attack with Keira Knightley, and it does lead to a certain degree of remarks along the lines of "YOU GONNA DIE" from complete strangers. And I'd be the first to admit that I smoke far too much. I really do, and that's not healthy.

And yet…fuck it, I love it.

I don't care about dying ten years before my time. I don't care about the comments, the forced coughing that makes them sound like somebody with terminal bronchial problems, and I don't care about the cost (because I get cheap tobacco, suckers! =D). Because there is nothing, NOTHING that I have found that reduces my stress levels so much like a cigarette.

I love the feeling of sipping coffee, reading a book, browsing the net, anything you can think of, all with a cigarette in my hand. There's just something so relaxing about it. You just lose yourself in the inhalation, the warmth flooding down your throat, and then…exhale. Watching the smoke writhing, forming into patterns, and then you get to do it all over again with another draw. It's heaven.

Also, I love the atmosphere of a smoking section. You're outside the pub, having a fag, and you just start chatting with people. You meet new people over something as trivial as a request for a lighter. And then you go back upstairs and see the non smokers sitting there complaining about smoking. All with dour expressions. You're there with a big grin on your face, because the nice man or woman you lent a lighter to and then spent five minutes chatting has just asked for your number. And yes, that has happened to me. It’s a great feeling. =D

It's true. Smokers just wanna have fun. (Now that'd be a good song...)

However, I cannot help but feel that I am being made to feel guilty by non smokers, despite all I have done to appease them. Despite me asking, always very politely, if I can smoke in their house, despite me following the ban on public smoking in public places, despite all of this they still complain. "Why would you put those filthy toxins in your body?" "Why would you endanger us all?" "WHY KYLE WHY?"

Because I can. Because I love it. And because passive smoking on one occasion is about as dangerous as arm wrestling a mouse.

So why do people persist in bitching and moaning? It's not like I break into their house, tie them to their bed and then blow smoke deliberately in their faces before forcing their kids to start. I just smoke. I smoke when I'm outside, I smoke when I'm in my own house, a