Catriona (looking at a photo of Dayna with a waxwork of Picasso): Oh, is that your grandad Dayna?

Tom to Kerry fans at Meath vs Kerry: Yeah well you can't even talk and your best player's a ginge!!!

Katy (loudly, in the middle of a crowded street): I wonder if cows ever get raped.
Dayna: Ah I'm sure they do. It'd be fairly easy to just hop on.
Katy: I wonder would it really be easy to rape a cow though?
Me: You do realise that everyone can hear every word you're saying and it does NOT sound normal...
Katy: I wonder do cows mind being raped though, or do they just think ah sure you might as well?
Me: Oh for the love of God! I'm not with these people!!!

Dayna: I always said Emily was too smart for her brains!

Katy: This lipbalm tastes like your lips, Dayna. Eh wait no, I don't know what Dayna's lips taste like...

Ellen D: Old is only an age!.

Katy: Did I tell you a crow tried to come in my bedroom window last night? It was crazy! You could make a film out of that. You could call it 'When a Crow Calls!'

Me (talking about the Leaving Cert English paper): Did you hear the jews will have to be locked up for the day so they can't see the paper?
Eimear: Are you serious? It's like the Holocaust all over again!

Ms Murphy: Ok, could everyone just stop barking for a minute please!

Ellen D: I'm as jealous as a bee in a hive!

Me (reading from a penguin bar): What do penguins sing on your birthday?
Katy: Happy birthday to penguin!
Me: Nope.
Katy: Flappy birthday!
Me: Nope.
Katy: Hit the deck!
Dayna: What has that got to do with penguins or birthdays?!

Katy: Think about it, if you don't find out I've stolen from you then have I really stolen from you?

Katy: All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him gay...
Me: What? They didn't call him gay!
Katy: Are you sure?

Katy: I once woke up and thought I was blind but I wasn't, the lights were just off.

Katy: Right well I better jiggly wan!

Me (discussing Bronagh's rape attempt): It's horrible, I don't think the memories will ever fade!
Dayna: Well, maybe when you're old and have Alzheimer's.
Me: Oh great, Alzheimer's is all I have to look forward to in my life!

Teacher: Did you see that thing on the news about the pirates?
*A few mins later*
Teacher: Oh did you hear a shop was robbed on this road last week?
Dayna (sounding appalled): By pirates?!

Me: It's so cold! I can't feel my legs!
Niamh: Don't say that too loudly or Bronagh will want to do it for you...

Katy: I decided to roll over and have another few wink eyes.

Niamh: Guess what I forgot? It starts with a 'hardback' and ends with a... That didn't work, did it?

Mollie: He's actually quite muscly. Well... He has thin, lean muscles. Skin, some might call it.

Katy: You know what they say: early to bed, early to rise, that'll get you your supper suprise!
Me: No one actually says that, do they?
Katy: Nope...

*In Fermanagh*
Aoife: Why do the cars have R plates here?
Ellie: Maybe that's what they have for L plates.
Aoife: But 'learner' doesn't begin with r, even in Northern Ireland...

Katy: Ah look at her, as happy as two pigs in a pod!

Katy: *attempts to choke Dayna* Oh sorry... I just thought I was Harry Potter for a second there.
Dayna: Harry Potter doesn't choke people!!!
Katy: He does, you know the one where he eats people cause he thinks they're snakes?
Dayna: NO!!!!

Ellie: I was doing my homework for 4 hours straight last night! Except for when I had to take a break because there was no shampoo.

Mollie: It was Ellen! She nipped in like a ghost in the night, with a

ONE
w.a.k.e.u.p
there is NO SUCH THING as a bebo tracker.
it does NOT exist. so quit posting stupid emails like
"OH-my-GEEEEE this WORKS!!!"
no, it doesnt.

TWO
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.

THREE
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"wat a minging picture"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.

FOUR
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is stupid. Grow up.

FIVE
Making 20 whiteboards/comment/emails a day
about how you hate other people
because you're not on their top 16.
Who cares?!
IT'S BEBO!!!!

SIX
Who really gives a crap if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!

SEVEN
Little 6th class people who have bebo
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.

EIGHT
And if you open a Email and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL! STOP BEING AN IDIOT!

10/08/09

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
On my way back from Katy and Dayna's estate

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
None of your business

Last restaurant you went to?
Hmmm, The Russell I think, for my birthday. No wait, some Italian place in London

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
Yeah it was really good! Friday/Saturday I was still in London, came back on Saturday and went out with everyone, that was really fun Then the Meath match on Sunday and Chelsea won as well, couldn't ask for much more really haha

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Probably, can't remember!

What do you spend most of your money on?
Clothes...

Ever kissed someone over 30?
No that's pretty gross Something a certain person should keep in mind...

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
Yeah, but I don't keep much from them

Do you like yourself?
Most of the time

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
No one really. What's done is done, as good old Lady Macbeth would say (proud of me, Ms Corrigan? )

What's something that can always make you feel better?
Music, hugs, a good cup of tea!

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
Everyone spoiled me, not just my parents Well, except that I wasn't allowed to eat sweets! The great sugar ban of the 1990s

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
Nah I never had any to begin with!

How's your heart lately?
It's ticking away nicely, thanks for asking

Will this weekend be a good one?
How am I supposed to know?

Who can always cheer you up?
My friends

Who hugged you last?
Think it was Katy and Dayna

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Yes

What is your relationship status?
Seeing someone

The last song you heard?
Don't trust me by 3oh!3

What do you think of love?
It's the best thing in life

Do you still talk to any of your exes?
Yeah, all of them

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what?
Hunky Dorys salt and vinegar!

Does anyone know your bebo password?
No one except me, I'm not that stupid Hint hint Dayna

Have you dated anyone on your top 32?
I have indeed.

Has your number 2 on your friends ever made you cry?
Yes... She's made me laugh so much I cried!

How do you feel about abortions?
Just because a baby isn't born yet doesn't mean it's okay to kill it. Even if you don't want it, there's so many people out there dying to adopt a baby. I could never kill my own child.

Do you eat junk food everyday?
Yeah I guess I do. I eat fairly healthily though

How did you and your number 1 become friends?
I adopted her in first year. True story

How late did you stay up last night and why?
About half 5, I was having a really good conversation with someone

What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
My brother... Well it's a funny story. My mother gave birth to him

Do you like someone?
Yeah

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex?
Well in a jokey way, yeah

How's your life lately?
Crazy, but good!

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
I have not

Have you ever been so drunk that you blacked out?
Yes

Do you think that you’re a good person?
I'd like to think so

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
Yes.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Well it depends on the relationship really doesn't it?

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, I do think it can develop over a short space of time though

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My own

Have you kissed anyone in the last week?
Nope

Do you miss anyone?
Yeah I do.

What does your 8th text message say and who was it from?
Haha that one is none of your business