Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and ' aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

OH, don't groan.
You know darn well you're going to send this on to somebody.

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to
the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady

"Do you have a vagina".

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man,
he asks the same question of the woman "Do you have a vagina". She
slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has
happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving
and concerned voice "Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in
case this guy shows up again".

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.

The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice "Honey, I'm going
to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you
to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going
withit". She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question.

"Do you have vagina".......

"Yes" she says......

The man replies.. "Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave
my wife's alone and start using yours.

The Horse Race
The Line up:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Dick
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry

AND THEY'RE OFF!!!
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and
Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.

AT THE HALFWAY MARK:
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Dick is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady
and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific
pressure from Big Dick.

AT THE STRETCH:
Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
Bare Belly is making a final push.
Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

AT THE FINISH:
Its Big Dick giving everything he's got and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes
through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
Bare Belly slows,
Thighs weakens,
Heavy Bosom pulls up,
and Clean Sheets never had a chance.