What do an orgasm and a drum solo have in common?
You know when there coming but theres no stopping them.

What do a vacuum cleaner and a guitar have in common?
Both suck when you plug them in.

Whats the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
The bag of garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Whats the difference between a bass player and a duracell battery?
A duracell battery has a decent life.

Hey buddy, how late does the band play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car?
It took him 2 hours to get the drummer out.

Why dont bass players play hide and seek?
Because nobody would look for them.

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just steal everyone elses light.

Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.

What is the definition of a bass player?
Halfway between a drummer and a musician.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Leave it out cos no one will notice.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or practice the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
**********************************
 **************** ****
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Mrs. Jamison, were you present when your picture was taken?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
**********************************
 **************** ****
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this individual a male, or a female?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of them, all my autopsies are usually performed on dead people.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
**********************************
 **************** ****
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
**********************************
 **************** *****
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. "

Leave sum memories of you and me together in da comment box. It doesn't matter if I know you a little or a lot, anything you remember. Next, repost this on your own blog and see how many people leave a memory about you