What is wrong with me??? One stupid argument with Lamont this morning and my day is already headed downhill. WTF?

We got into an argument because I told him to take his shoes off on the carpet. WTF? His rule and he doesn't follow it. So now I'm nagging. WTF? So it snowballs from there. I'm already running late because of our argument. Threw me totally off schedule.

Then I get to the daycare and Ms. Ambrosia tells me Saraaya has been crying. She said it might be because I hold Saraaya too long and talk to her in the mornings before I go... Ms. Sandra said she cries when she wants/needs something. That is totally understandable. Ms. Ambrosia made it seem like Saraaya is wailing all the time for no reason. So I spoke to Ms. Joyce and Ms. Nakeshia and they pretty much said Saraaya is fine and she just needs to adjust.

Of course that sent me into a tailspin downward and I was on the phone crying to Lamont. He said not to worry. I think I was crying more because one of the steps on my balance beam is out of order and I have the hardest time adjusting so I won't fall. AGH!

I am excited to find out the sex of Booty and Rachel's babies.

I shouldn't be here. I'm so damn busy, but I feel guilty! A lot has gone on and I can't remember what I last shared, but we started going to church; Saraaya, Ayaan and I. Ayaan loves it so far. He looks forward to Bible study and Sunday school. Rehoboth Baptist Church. It is a big church, but seems so intimate and small at the same time. We attend the Catalyst service on Sundays. It's very refreshing. I feel 100% better being in church. I really want to continue to strengthen my relationship with God, learn new things, and make sure my kids have a strong relationship with God. I know I can do that without the church but it sure does help, not to mention the sense of community that is felt there.

Sunday, the 18th Saraaya rolled over twice for Lamont. I have YET to see it! That girl! She's so big, and sweet and I love her, love her. Yesterday I gave her a taste of mashed potatoes. I think she liked it. Just a bit on her tongue to roll around.

Saturday she will be 17 weeks. Next week she'll be 14 weeks!!! She's growing so fast! She has the most beautiful laugh! I to hear it!

Lamont and I have been doing great! Our love is so much stronger and our bond is unbelievable. We do get on each other's nerves at times and we don't agree on quite a few things, but we agree on even more things and we really gel. It is great not having to deal with other people's drama anymore. To be honest Sheila was the only cause of our drama and dealing with the older kids like discipline or dealing with Jarraad and his stuff when he was home with us. Now that we don't associate with Sheila at all (the drama magnet) Lamont and I can truly enjoy each other. It is so nice. God is good!!!

Ayaan is doing great. I love my boy but man we have a lot of work on the way he talks to people. He is so damn demanding and LOVES to tell us what to do. I really have to stay on him with his manners. He really thinks he's the boss at times. But he is learning. I've started letting him wash himself in the shower and lotion himself. Then I come and get his back or whatever. Of course you can substitute my name with Lamont's. He definitely does his daddy duty.

Halloween is coming up. Ayaan is so excited. Me, not so much. Last year he cried at the scary costumes. I just pray he handles things better this year. He is adamant that he wants to go trick-or-treating. We're going to Amphon's again this year. Thank GOD Halloween is on a Saturday! So we won't be so rushed for time this year. I'm such a deadbeat, I didn't take them to a pumpkin patch. I'll definitely shoot to do it next year. By that time Saraaya will be walking.

I get sad thinking about next year... My baby girl turning 1.

What else... I think that's about it.... If I think of anything else I'll tell you.

Saraaya is 3 months old today!!! She's grown so much!! She is trying to sit up so we can actually hold her without having her lay back. She's holding her head up of course but has been doing that for a long time. She is so aware of her surroundings and prefers me at the moment. She loves kicking and flapping those arms and moves around when she's on her stomach because she's so busy flapping and kicking. I that girl!

Today we went to church. Rehoboth. I was pissed because Lamont wouldn't come with us. But what did I expect. I knew he wouldn't go so I set myself up. http://www.rehoboth.org/. I brought Saraaya and Ayaan with me. Ayaan was racking my nerve. He just wouldn't SHUT UP! I mean, he wasn't even listening and following direction wich was out of character for him. So anyway, I missed the turn a few times trying to get there but we finally made it. We found out we missed the formal service which was at 9:30. But we made it in time to catch the pastor's message at the Catalyst service. It was very cool. They had a band playing for praise, a rock band. Then the minister sat on the stage with just a chair and a podium. Nothing fancy. It was very informal and nice. There were two ladies sitting on either side of us that were HUGE helps! One lady helped keep Ayaan entertained. The other lady helped me with Saraaya and just stuff in general. During the service Saraaya gagged herself and spit up and THEN she needed to take a shit so that's what she did. LOL. It came out of her diaper and got on her bottoms, but not her dress, thank God! So after service a lady told us about the kids stuff they had going on. All Ayaan needed to hear was pizza. So Ms. Paula, God bless her soul, took us upstairs and sat with us while Ayaan ate. She left once the children's service was about to start. It was very cool. The theme for this month for the kids is individuality. So I have to ask people that know Ayaan to give me one word that describes him and how unique he is, then have a "party" with him and tell him about what I found. Very cool!

Lamont of course was home stuck on football. But I was able to drop my crazy anger and be ok. I mean I know who he is, I just have to accept it and move on. I can't change him. He has to want to change.

So we got home, had lunch, and me, Saraaya, and Ayaan took naps. Blessed sleep!!! Lamont cooked Tacos for dinner. Now the kids are in bed and I'm enjoying some quiet time. But I have to get ready for tomorrow. I already picked out what Saraaya and I are going to wear. I don't know about Ayaan...

But that's about it.