Bebo

Following the death of Jeremy Beadle, ITV have decided to publicly air his cremation... You've Been Flamed!



I wonder if Beadle will need a little helping hand getting up the stairway to heaven?



Have you seen that ITV have already planned a tribute show for Jeremy Beadle? It's going to be called Beadle's Not About.



Jeremy Beadle's post-mortem has revealed he had a tiny penis. Though on the other hand it was massive.



Jeremy Beadle was never any good at poker - he always had a rubbish hand.



Jeremy Beadle was a great man. He reached out to all walks of life. Unfortunately, nobody noticed.



What with pneumonia & cancer, you can't help thinking life just dealt Jeremy Beadle a bad hand...



Beadle's no longer about, but out of respect for his life, let's give the man a big hand.



Jeremy Beadle left a letter before he died, but nobody could read his short hand.



After Jeremy Beadle's funeral, there will be a small finger buffet...


There's going to be a minute's silence in memorial of Jeremy Beadle. It starts when the big hand touches the small hand.



It's been revealed that Jeremy Beadle died without any life insurnace. His family say they have enough money to cover the funeral, but need a little hand with the coffin.



Jeremy Beadle has requested that his remains be recycled into compost and scattered on his garden. ITV sources say he could be back in the early autumn with "Watch Out, Beadle's A Sprout"

Q. What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
A. One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a chav in a box?
A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.

Q. What do you call a chav in a suit
A. The defendant.

Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. If you see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
A. What you looking at.

Q. Why are chavs like slinkeys?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs

Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?
A. Paint 3 stripes on it.

Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
A. A start.

Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Vauxhall Nova a shame?
A. Because a Nova has 4 seats.

Q. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A. A liar.

Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?
A. Bigmac please.

Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?
A. A chav girl has a higher sperm count.