Bebo

In 2003, our UFFA Cup final year, I went on a bus from Shawlands to the Celtic v Blackburn game at Ewood Park.
We won 2-0 and wanted to celebrate after the match, so we asked the driver to take us to Blackpool. At first he refused and after we had a whip round and gave him 80 quid he agreed to take us for a few hours.

I can't remember the name of the pub, but we were in there a few hours, got a wee lock in an nat. Anyway, the driver came into the pub and told us to get ready to leave for Glasgow, we had five minutes.
We were well pished and slowly and drunkenly made our way to the bus.
On the bus we were all getting comfy for a wee kip on the way home when someone from the pub came running out shouting that we'd left one of the boys behind. We were all ignoring the driver's pleas to go and get him so the driver and a few of the barstaff brought this 20 stone bear of a guy out of the pub. He was pish and well asleep. They huffed and puffed him onto the bus and laid him on the floor in the aisle between the seats.
We didn't really take much notice as we were pish ourselves and trying to get a kip.
Thing is, the guy was snoring like a fucking train and about 10 miles north of Gretna my cousin Brian woke up asking what the fuck that noize was.
As a few more of us woke up we looked at the lump of a guy on the floor. Some of the guys tried to wake him up but had no luck, then oor Brian said that the guy wasnae on the bus coming up to Blackburn.

I was laughing ma tits off and said that I hope he doesnae stay in Blackpool.
Anyway, one of the guys had a look for the guy's wallet to see if he had some ID on him. He found a driving license and it had an address in Hamilton on it. So we told the driver to drop him off.

When we got to the guy's house we had to drag him off the bus as he still wouldn't wake up. We managed to get his keys out his pocket and open his front door. We laid him on his couch and left his keys on the mantlepiece and left. We closed the front door behind us and as we were walking down his drive one of his neighbours was coming in from the nightshift and she said. 'If you're looking for big Tam, he's away to blackpool with the wife and kids for a fortnight.


Well we just nodded and rushed onto the bus and then just pished ourselves laughing. We took the cunt home. He must have just seen all us tims in the pub and thought. 'That'll do for me.'

Fucking brilliant.
Wonder what he did when he woke up.

A story i heard off a celtic fan