Lovebite
- Profilaufrufe: 67
- Profil erstellt: June 2008
- www.bebo.com/Love--bite
- Kategorie:
- Romane
- Motto
- Things are never what they seem.
- Ich über mich
- OK, This was an entry to a competition on www.tomecity.com. I had to write a story of 1997 Words or less, and it had to include this picture in it
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VOTING HAS FINISHED!!
The result was a 2-2 Tie for first place between myself and "Mephistopheles."
It was written in two parts, Daytime and Nighttime, and it revolves around two characters, Johnny and Linda. After completion of the competiton, I transferred the stry to the Interactive Stories District on the website, which means you can have your say in what happens next!!
Here is the link directly to the post on tome.
http://tomecity.com/smf/index.php/to...
To actually post on the forum, you'll have to register first, (which is completely free.)
My other short story in progress, Diary of a C*nt, is here: http://www.bebo.com/diaryofacnt/
To view my other work, go here: http://www.bebo.com/saintsstories/
schließen Reviews
schließen Kommentare
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Saint57 Wochen her<WARNING: COMMENT CONTAINS SPOILERS>
To my reviewers who said they didn't see the vampire part coming:
Neither did I, I just wrote the thing off my head with no plan at all, and it just seemed right to put it in there. -
Ice Phoenix62 Wochen herIt wasn’t a full headache, he’d dank way more than three bottles before, but as he looked down at Linda, he saw that three bottles must have been enough to influence them.
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spot the slight typo? that's my only critisism, other then that.. brilliant
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Dangerfield69 Wochen herI like your use of short 'to the point' sentences (something I'm still trying to master..lol..) and your skin
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Lovebite76 Wochen herIf you enjoyed this, could you do me a favour please?
Register at www.tomecity.com/phpbb/ Have a look around the forums, they're quite new, but theres already a wealth of stories and poems posted. you don't have to be a writer to post there, you can be a poet, artist, even just someone who likes to read stories!
Then go here >> http://www.tomecity.com/phpbb/viewto... and tell them Saint sent you?
Thankyou in advance.
Review Other then the one typo i spotted, it was really good.
von Ice Phoenix 62 Wochen herDescriptions?... perfect.
you even described the house, which i find hard to do,
Like the review below, i didnt see the vampire thing coming, but good stories are supposed to be unpredictable
*thumbs up*
^_^
NicTei Reviews: Review Requested Well, I didn't see the whole 'vampire' part coming. I was starting to get a little curious when the house had transformed and a figure walked through a wall, but I was guessing 'haunted house,' not 'vampire fiesta.'
von NicTei 66 Wochen herAnyways, I only saw a couple of problems. One was that you used the number '9' instead of the word 'nine.' Low numbers are supposed to be written. Also, a sentence states 'He liked hardly anything better...' when it would be easier read as 'He liked nothing better...' And, though it only happened once, there was an unneccesary capital letter.
'even now, he thought, He still...' That should either be:
'even now, he thought, he still...' or 'even now, he thought, 'I still...'
Other than those errors, I really found nothing wrong with it. It is an interesting story that will, undoubtedly, get more interesting as it is written.
Keep writing!
5 Star!!!!!!!! That Story Is Awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
von .Distance 69 Wochen her!!
Your A Great Writter!
Crazy WOW! I LOVE IT!!! but the only problem is you have to watch the spelling. and it isn't enough star rating up there to really rate what i feel!~ Man! you know what i'll give you a 10!
von Kisha L 74 Wochen her