Read this at ReachOut.com: http://ie.reachout.com/connect/blog/...

Most arguments-- whether with parents, mates, or boyfriends/girlfriends-- come from some breakdown in communication. And a lot of these can be avoided if you recognise these common communication mistakes.

See if you or another person typically take aggressive, passive, or assertive stances, and let us know in the comments what you did to be an assertive communicator, or how you addressed someone who was communicating aggressively or passively.
Aggressive Communication

It's expressed in a forceful and hostile manner, and usually involves alienating messages such as 'you-statements' (blaming the other person and accusing them of being wrong or at fault) and labeling.

In addition, the person's tone of voice and facial expressions are unfriendly. The assumption behind aggressive communication is 'Your needs don't matter' (I win/you lose).
Passive Communication

This involves putting your needs last. You don't express your thoughts or feelings, or ask for what you want. When you use passive communication it feels like others are walking all over you because you don't assert your own needs. So, you bottle things up and might feel resentful. The assumption behind passive communication is 'My needs don't matter' (You win/I lose - and I resent you for that).
Assertive Communication

Communicating assertively clearly expressing what you think, how you feel and what you want, without demanding that you must have things your way. The basic underlying assumption is 'We both matter - let's try to work this out'.

Assertive communication increases your likelihood of getting what you want, avoiding conflict and maintaining good relationships (I win/you win). When you are assertive you can:

* Express your own thoughts, feelings and needs
* Make reasonable requests of other people (While accepting their right to say 'no')
* Stand up for your own rights
* Say 'no' to requests from others at times, without feeling guilty.

Read more on the fact sheet on effective communication, http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...

And for tips on good communication techniques, check out more tips for communicating effectively http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...

Economy got you down?

In the Irish Times over the weekend, the Fine Gael spokesperson on mental health said that "even among people with no record of serious mental illness, unemployment is associated with a 70 per cent greater suicide risk." He was talking about increasing funding for suicide prevention measures, as well as the stress on homeowners with falling property values.

But ever since the Celtic Tiger bit the dust, there's been a big spike in unemployment among young people. How big an impact can unemployment have on your mental health? For some people the effect can be very significant-- even leading to thoughts about self-harm and suicide. We've got a good fact sheet on suicidal thoughts ( http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles... ), and a story I especially like on using running to cope with depression: http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...

But we don't yet have a fact sheet or story specifically dealing with being young and unemployed in Ireland.

So, do you think there's a need for a fact sheet on dealing with being young and unemployed, as well as the stress and feelings it causes?
Help us out and tell us what tips you'd give to an unemployed friend below.

Let us know your experience, what you find difficult, and what you do to power through tough economic times. We'll take all suggestions on board as we develop our recession-related fact sheets.

What is depression?

It is normal to feel down or sad at times during your life. If you have had to cope with a stressful event you may need time to grieve and feelings of sadness may last for some time. The term depression is sometimes used to describe feelings of sadness. Depression is also the name for a group of illnesses, which affects the way someone feels and is characterised by a persistent lowering of mood.

When someone is depressed they may feel a range of things including:·

* Feeling hopeless or helpless
* Losing interest in activities they usually enjoy
* A lack of energy
* Changes in sleeping and eating patterns
* Crying a lot or feeling agitated
* High use of alcohol or other drugs
* Losing their temper
* Withdrawing from the group
* Headaches or stomach aches
* Feeling empty
* Feeling anxious

Understanding depression

Sometimes people become depressed in response to something in particular and sometimes depression can occur for no apparent reason. Some of the things that can trigger depression include:

* a history of depression within the family
* a stressful event or chain of events such as a family break-up, child abuse, ongoing bullying at school, rape, a death, a relationship break up, family conflict
* having a baby (postnatal depression)

Depression and suicidal thoughts

People experiencing depression may have suicidal thoughts. If you feel like this, it is important you seek help. A family member, teacher, doctor or psychologist may be a good first step.

If you know someone is having suicidal thoughts, encourage them to seek help. Let them know that if you think they will hurt themselves then you will have to tell someone. If they are scared about telling someone else you can offer to go with them for support.
Getting help for depression

There are a number of things you can do to help you manage your depression. Try to remember that this may take time and there may be good days and not so good ones. For more information about some of the ways to help manage depression you may want to check out the Management and treatment options for depression: http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...

Check out the Get the best help section for support, at http://ie.reachout.com/find/getting-...