Full blog post here: http://ie.reachout.com/connect/blog/... For full info, check out our featured factsheet What is happiness http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles... and also Tips for increasing your happiness http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles... .

Happiness can mean different things to different people. For one person, it may mean being in a relationship, while for another it may mean feeling you can handle whatever life throws at you.

What makes happy people happy? Lots of money, being attractive, a great house, or having all the latest gadgets... Not exactly. You might just think happy people are plain lucky, and are born that way.

Research suggests, however, that there are a number of variables that make a far greater contribution to happiness than external and more superficial factors.

The way you choose to think about and act on the past, present, and future seems to have quite a significant impact on how happy you are!

* Past - When thinking about the past, people who are happier pay attention to what is 'good' about the past, rather than focusing on the unhappy times. They are grateful, forgiving, and don't believe that the past will determine what happens in the future. For more information on gratitude (being grateful) for the past, check out fact sheet on Gratitude.

* Future - When it comes to thinking about the future, happy people are flexibly optimistic - what this means is that they are optimistic (in a realistic sense) about how their future is going to be, but if it doesn't turn out that way, they know it's not going to be the end of the world either.

* Present - The way you think about and act in the present is also essential in determining how happy you are. This might include things such as taking pleasure in life and your surroundings, building and being in meaningful relationships, and the way we react to things in life, good and bad. For more information about the things you can control in your present which might help increase your happiness, check out the Tips for increasing your happiness fact sheet: http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...

A few extra tips from our Tips for increasing your happiness factsheet:

* Be in the present
* Take notice of the little things in life and in the world, and enjoy them
* Build and maintain good quality relationships
* Train your mind (Choose the way you think about things)
* Focus on your strengths
* Plan for happiness (work towards goals that you truly want)


Do any of these work for you? Or do you have your own tips for working towards happiness?

Reach this blog online here: http://ie.reachout.com/connect/blog/...

We've talked about the perils of Cyberbullying (http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles..., and ways of meeting people (including online) as well as the good side of Facebook and texting. Now, yet another study has shown that the web can, and is being used in positive, social ways. Via Silicon Republic--

Far from the long-running stereotype of the internet user holed up alone in a dark room, a recent study has shown that thanks to social media, internet users are actually quite a friendly and diverse group that are more likely to volunteer for charitable causes.

The US-based Pew Internet Personal Networks and Community Survey has found that contrary to a widely-reported 2006 study arguing that American citizens have become more socially isolated, insular and uncharitable since 1985, it appears that mobile phones, the internet and social-networking sites have somewhat reversed this.

Outside of home

As for social isolation, the study found that 38pc of participants have logged onto the internet from a public library while a further 18pc did so from a café.

When looking at an individual’s core social network and how they interact with others, the research suggested that those with Facebook accounts were more likely to engage with people of more diverse opinion and cultural backgrounds.

Interestingly, mobile-phone users, frequent internet users and bloggers were found to be more likely to get involved in local charitable organisations, like youth groups, whereas Facebook, LinkedIn and MySpace members were less likely, perhaps because of a tendency to supplant this charitable urge with virtual advice and help amongst the online social circle.

I don't think the numbers using 'internet cafes' is probably as high in Ireland, but we've got less free Wi-fi. I'm always looking for a few good hotspots to have a coffee, people watch, and send a couple emails

Otherwise, the US study seems like it would just as easily apply to Ireland. So, has your online life gotten you into activities you otherwise wouldn't have? Do you think time online makes us more or less sociable?

Read this at ReachOut.com: http://ie.reachout.com/connect/blog/...

Most arguments-- whether with parents, mates, or boyfriends/girlfriends-- come from some breakdown in communication. And a lot of these can be avoided if you recognise these common communication mistakes.

See if you or another person typically take aggressive, passive, or assertive stances, and let us know in the comments what you did to be an assertive communicator, or how you addressed someone who was communicating aggressively or passively.
Aggressive Communication

It's expressed in a forceful and hostile manner, and usually involves alienating messages such as 'you-statements' (blaming the other person and accusing them of being wrong or at fault) and labeling.

In addition, the person's tone of voice and facial expressions are unfriendly. The assumption behind aggressive communication is 'Your needs don't matter' (I win/you lose).
Passive Communication

This involves putting your needs last. You don't express your thoughts or feelings, or ask for what you want. When you use passive communication it feels like others are walking all over you because you don't assert your own needs. So, you bottle things up and might feel resentful. The assumption behind passive communication is 'My needs don't matter' (You win/I lose - and I resent you for that).
Assertive Communication

Communicating assertively clearly expressing what you think, how you feel and what you want, without demanding that you must have things your way. The basic underlying assumption is 'We both matter - let's try to work this out'.

Assertive communication increases your likelihood of getting what you want, avoiding conflict and maintaining good relationships (I win/you win). When you are assertive you can:

* Express your own thoughts, feelings and needs
* Make reasonable requests of other people (While accepting their right to say 'no')
* Stand up for your own rights
* Say 'no' to requests from others at times, without feeling guilty.

Read more on the fact sheet on effective communication, http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...

And for tips on good communication techniques, check out more tips for communicating effectively http://ie.reachout.com/find/articles...