(2:08:27 AM) Nil: the shielding bit on the door of my microwave has massive holes in it
(2:08:32 AM) Uncertain: O_Oo
(2:10:06 AM) Nil: yes
(2:10:24 AM) Nil: appropriately, your shocked emoticon appears to have THREE EYES
(2:10:30 AM) Uncertain: lool
(2:10:33 AM) Uncertain: and Head Cancer
(2:11:07 AM) Nil: yes
(2:11:41 AM) Nil: I am going to get Cancer of the Headbones and all my Philostophical Brilliance will fall out my ears like overcooked offal
(2:11:47 AM) Uncertain: yes
(2:12:00 AM) Uncertain: JUST LIKE OVERCOOKED OFFAL
(2:12:02 AM) Uncertain: "Robin! How long do you have left to finish that Rubik's Cube before it explodes and kills us all?"
(2:12:07 AM) Uncertain: "Twenty fucking seconds, Batman!"
(2:12:12 AM) Nil: LOl
(2:14:24 AM) Offering to send Dance.ogg to Nil
(2:14:48 AM) Uncertain: i interventually ended up speeding it up by a factor of four
(2:15:16 AM) Nil: as is only right
(2:15:22 AM) Uncertain: yes
(2:15:41 AM) Uncertain: "Increase the speed of your dance by a factor of four!"

(12:04:02 AM) Messiah Ross: "Life is like a box of chocolate. Cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolate. So you’re stuck with this un - definable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down till there’s nothing left to eat...
(12:04:17 AM) Messiah Ross: "...Sure once in a while there’s a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee, but they’re gone too fast and taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth shattering nuts..."
(12:04:31 AM) Messiah Ross: "...And if you’re desperate enough to eat those all you’re left with is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers."
(12:05:01 AM) Uncertain: you could make a fort out of them
(12:05:11 AM) Messiah Ross: Yeah lol
(12:05:29 AM) Messiah Ross: It's a hilarious quote from The Smoking Man in The X-Files
(12:06:31 AM) Messiah Ross: The context of the episode may make the joke funnier
(12:09:39 AM) Messiah Ross: He's known for keeping government secrets, he wrote a sci-fi story for a magazine in which he bared all the secrets he kepted and it was printed in a softcore porn magazine as well as edited
(12:10:01 AM) Messiah Ross: *kept
(12:12:45 AM) Messiah Ross: A homeless guy picked a box of chocolates out of the bin next to him as he sat pissed off after having just seeing where his story was printed
(12:12:06 AM) Uncertain: surely he meant "my writing skills are like a box of chocolates"
(12:12:29 AM) Uncertain: "as soon as I fucking touch them they melt away in my hands"
(12:12:53 AM) Uncertain: "and all I'm left with is useless brown paper"

(6:22:10 PM) Nil: it was brillo
(6:22:20 PM) Uncertain: BRILL-O, not BRILLO
(6:22:26 PM) Nil: also we went to Osiris, which is a sort of alternative clothing shop
(6:22:27 PM) Nil: FAH
(6:22:30 PM) Uncertain: BRILLO is a well-known PAD KIND
(6:22:39 PM) Nil: I LAUGH AT YOUR BRILL-O
(6:22:46 PM) Uncertain: A PAD KIND, SIR
(6:22:51 PM) Nil: and I got some fingerless leather gloves and a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt
(6:23:01 PM) Uncertain: you suddenly look like mike
(6:23:12 PM) Nil: yes
(6:23:27 PM) Uncertain: I am wearing my Smart Shirt
(6:23:40 PM) Uncertain: which is cheap and missing two buttons, but relatively smart nonetheless
(6:23:58 PM) Uncertain: i have had something like 5 cups of coffee today
(6:23:58 PM) Nil: heh
(6:24:01 PM) Nil: what is the occasion?
(6:24:10 PM) Uncertain: I changed my clothes

(9:34:18 PM) Messiah Ross: Wait a minute, JD said that he would never have made it through high school if it wasn't for Radiohead but Radiohead didn't break through until 1993 and KoRn released their first album in 1994
(9:34:45 PM) Messiah Ross: I think JD was fibbing
(9:35:02 PM) Uncertain: hmmm
(9:35:03 PM) Uncertain: evil corpie
(9:35:14 PM) Messiah Ross: Thom Yorke would be disgusted!!!
(9:35:24 PM) Messiah Ross: Thom Yorke should p

[One] Who was your last text from?
No idea, my phones have been turned off for many months.

[Two] Where was your default picture taken?
In the main hall of Wick High School next to the baby grand.
That area of carpet was the stage for my greatest memories yet.

[Three] What's your middle name?
...NOBODY KNOWS.

[Four] Your current relationship status?
Quite single

[Five] Does your crush like you back?
I am crushless.

[Six] What is your current mood?
Pensive or something. Cold. A cold, cold mood.

[Seven] What's your dads name?
Peter

[Eight] What color shirt are you wearing?
White! Who would have deigned to have thunk it?

[Nine] What was the last thing you drank?
Apfelsaft.

[Ten] If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
Yes, I would move my raft slightly to the East before deployment.

[Eleven] Have a crazy side?
Yes, in that I am somewhat genuinely mental.

[Twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
Can't remember.

[Thirteen] Something you do a lot?
Play Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2. Curse its semi-retrosemantic title.

[Fourteen] Angry at anyone?
Yeah, whoever came up with those annoying adverts that keep coming up with "YOU LOSE!" just because you're not moronic enough to go clicking madly on the monkey's face.

[Fifteen] Do you wanna see somebody right now?
It would be fun. I am greatly bored.

[Sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
I cannot, unless I'm allowed to make someone up or research it.

[Seveteen] When was the last time you cried?
Christmas 2-3 years ago I think.

[Eighteen] Who would you do anything for?
Me! AHA!

[Nineteen] Who is your idol(s)?
Me! AHA! Maybe Devin Townsend and Frank Zappa.

[Twenty] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
That depends on the context, i.e. are they covered in flour? Are they curled up in the corner? Are they descending upon me from the edge of a pier while playing a church organ? I thought not. See how I have cunningly avoided the question? How cunning! I certainly know how to cun!

[Twenty-one] What do you usually order from starbucks?
My money back. How cunning!

[Twenty-two] What's your biggest secret?
I'm the Head CEO for Coca-Cola. It was I who arranged the death of the Queen Mother, the Queen Father and the Queen Cat. Actually, my brain is made of polystyrene.

[Twenty-three] Where is your ex?
IN BED

[Twenty-four] Favorite christmas movie?
Not sure. The Muppet Christmas Carol I suppose, although I hate giving serious answers.

[Twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
BoBo-Bo Bo-Bo Bo-BoBo can be fun, as can Dragonball, as can a bunch of other stuff. Old ones are inevitably better. I realised last night that all the bad guys from Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles were named after vague musical concepts! Bebop! ROCKSTEADY! The Shredder!! KRANG!!!

[Twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
I ate cookies and noticed that the Cookie Monster knows only the singular cookie. To him there is but The Cookie, and all cookies are one. The concept of plural cookies is illusory. Thus: "COOKIE!! Om Nom Nom Nom"
He is some kind of Cookie Monk.

[Twenty-eight] Whats your favorite smell?
The smell of napalm in the morning. I have a barrel of it beside my bed. Not really.
I'm not sure, perhaps my own stifling stench once I get used to it. Everything else is just horrible.

[Twenty-nine] Describe your life in one word
Uncertain! AHA!

[Thirty] Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Yes, but it took me twenty minutes to catch that old man. Not really.
No.

[Thirty-one] Do You Like The Rain?
Yes, I love rain. I need to get some waterproof clothing now that I'm all SOPHISTICATED and give a damn about the state of my snazzy streetwear apparel, so that I can go dancing about in the hills like a nutcase again.

[Thirty-two] What are you thinking about right now?
Geinoh Yamashirogumi, for I have them playing the AKIR

1) What's their name?
Nil / David (but I greatly prefer Nil).

2) Does he/she have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes.

3) Would you go to Disneyland with them?
I hate Disneyland, so yes.

4) How old were you when you first met?
15 or 16 or something

5) Do you know their secrets?
I know his secrets. Or do I!?

6) Is this person older than you?
No idea

7) When was the last time you saw this person?
No idea

Are you related to this person?
Nope

10) Are you their b/f or g/f?
Nope

11) Do you have a nickname for each other?
Sort of; we often refer to each other using any apropo term. "Apropo" is really hard.

12) Do you have pics of this person on your bebo?
Nope

13) How many times do you talk to this person?
Three

14) Do you think they will repost this?
Nope

15) Could you live with this person?
I probably could but I am not sure if he could. I laugh nervously in the face of physical, financial and social collapse.

16) Why is this person your other half?
He isn't! Aha!

17) Have you seen this person cry?
Nope, his tearwell ran dry long ago.

1 Do you know this persons middle name?
Nope

19) Have you ever been shopping with this person?
Sort of, but only incidentally. Oh wait, I have in fact, but only for rusks and SCART->VGA adapters and suchlike.

20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
More often than is socially possible.

22) Have you ever given this person something?
I gave him my heart, but he cast it far into the cold Lybster waves. Not really.

23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
Illegal, yes. And I suppose going to Burger King could count as being really stupid.

24) Do you know everything about this person?
I do not know where his tonsils are, so no. They could be anywhere. The walls have tonsils.

25) Does this person have a job?
Ace Philostopher. Nil Swanson, Philostopher at Law.

26) Does this person have you as their other half?
Of course not.

27) Do you think you & your other half will be best friends forever?
Unless he can escape my wrath. Also, it depends on your definition of "forever" in this context, and in which particular sequence of future events you settle on. Final Flash!

2 Have you ever made something with this person?
We once made a good example of Golly the golliwog. We also turned Pikachu into a spiky metal offering to spiky metal things by filling him with spiky metal things. I can think of little more but one unfinished Meme Warfare track.

29) Have you ever taken bebo pictures with this person?
Nope

30) Have you and your other half fought before?
To the death, in the Roman pits, using chandeliers and Hammond organs and all the mayonnaise in Christendom.

31) Is your #1 on drugs?
I do not know what a #1 refers to. I see no '#1' here. Syntax error on line #1. AH hah.

32) Does this person drink alcohol?
Yes, he also breathes smoke and eats lumps of pig flesh

34) Have you and your other half made up a hand shake?
No. Greetings are for dormice.

35) Have you and your other half done prank calls together?
No.

36) Have you ever seen this person dance?
I have seen him windmill, which is beyond any mere "dance". So there.

37) Have you ever seen this person sing?
Nope, nor have I heard him sing. AH hA h.

3 Do you and this person have a certain saying?
We have lots of certain sayings, most stolen or reformed from various clods of culture.

39) Do you know this persons bebo password?
Nope.

40) Do you know who this person likes or who she or he is going out with?
A woman.

41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted?
There was that time when I ruled Venus and he was the Commodore of the Spanish Armada and we went to WAR and he somehow managed to defeat the full force of the Venish Dodecalegion using naught but wit and a razor-sharp tongue, but aside from that, nope.

42) Does this person have a dog?
Nope, but