Englishman, aussie and paddy in a bar. They spot Jesus sat on his own, so each send him a drink and Jesus sups each pint slowly. When he's finished he walks over 2 the englishman, shakes his hand and thanks him 4the bitter. Look at dat! sez the englishman, me arthritis has gone. Jesus then thanx the aussie 4 the fosters. Crikey he sez, my bad backs cured! Jesus approaches the paddy who runs away screaming FUCK OFF! I'M ON DISABILITY BENEFIT!

This is a story about 4 people, named Everycunt, Somecunt, Anycunt and Nocunt. One day, there was a job that needed doing, and somecunt was asked to do it, Everycunt was sure Somecunt would do it, but Nocunt did it. Everycunt got angry because it was Somecunt's job. Nocunt realised that Anycunt could hav it, Everycunt was sure Somecunt would do it, but Nocunt did it. Everycunt got angry because it was Somecunt's job. Nocunt realised that Anycunt could have done it. It ended up with Everycunt blaming Somecunt and Nocunt doing what Anycunt could have done. I think I work with these cunts.

Brian Cowen was visiting a primary school and he visited one of
the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to
words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr. Cowen if he
would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'..
So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a
'tragedy'.

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who
lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs
over him and kills him, then that would be a 'tragedy.'
No, said Brian - that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty
children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that
would be a tragedy'
I'm afraid not, explained Brian - that's what we would call
great loss

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Brian
searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an
example of a tragedy?'

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his
hand...

In a quiet voice he said: 'If a plane carrying you and Mr.
Lenihan was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to
smithereens, then that would be a tragedy.'
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Brian. 'That's right. And can you tell
me why that would be a tragedy?'
'Well,' says little Johnny ', because it certainly
wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f***ing
accident either!'