The problem is simple and the problem is not that hard to solve. You see the problem is, I can't seem to forget you. Of course my concsious mind has already made up its part and killed every part of you in its existence. But it is my heart that refuses to let go. There were times when i had to look down at my chest, and I would feel my heart flutter like crazy at the mention of your name.

My mind would tell my heart, stop beating! You're being silly! We are not supposed to love that person anymore. But my heart, so stubborn and childish would never listen. And that is why I would feel nothing but pain.

Because writing makes me happy. I write. About you. About me. About the world.

It helps me forget about you even if you're the outline, it makes me forget about little by little and bit by bit. And I know one day, I can finally erase you from my mind <I>and</i> heart.

I've told you before there are two sides of me. And their names, you will be the only one to know. THe other half is the rational and other is the emotions. They both loved you anyway, and now that the rational has forgotten, it is the emotional that will try its best. But such a silly child, it will never leave you and will always look at and for you. But I will be strong.

And even if I have to hurt myself to forget, then I wil.

I don't love you.
I don't love you.
I don't love you.
Many countless nights under my ceiling, I have cried for you.
But I don't love you.
And I will erase your memories from me.
And I will never let you come back
I don't love you.
I don't love you.
I don't love you.
And if I keep saying this, I know I will truely forget you.

My head has finally killed you.
But my heart has kept your bloody hands in its arms. Wanting your blood all over the floor and all over the place.

I don't love you.
I don't love you.
I don't love you.
No more of the Pablo Neruda prose.
No more of the songs that were for you.
No more of the rain that will only make me remember.
I will forget about you.
And I will kill you.
With my hands.
With my thoughts.
With my words.
And I will hurt you.
Again.
Again.
Again.

While my head fights with my heart. I will erase you from memory.
And from then on, whenever I recite a poem from that Spanish author, I will finally be free. And I will smile like used to.
Tonight will be the last.
And after tonight, if I have to kill my heart to forget about you.
THen I maybe, I will have to prick it with a needle from a spindle.
Feed it with an apple laced with poison.
Give it to the dogs to eat.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I have never loved you.
I have never loved you.
And tonight, you're nothing but a name in a long list of names. You will be a memory not worth remembering. Close your eyes, take a deep breath.
Smile.
Because I am.
And this is not a facade.

When they first met, Tetsu still had that long beautiful hair of his, caressing his shoulders while he tried to keep the long strands away from his face. It was red, like blood and fire, passion and hate. And that was how Hyde found Tetsu amongst the crowds.

He was nothing special, nothing but a face amongst a sea of faces with their lone goal of seeing Jerusalem’s Rod play their songs. But if it weren’t the red hair that somehow highlighted himself in between the monotony of the crowd, Hyde would’ve never really cared for his existence.

He was busy strumming his guitar, grinning from ear to ear while he scanned the people who watched them play for free. And when his eyes caught on to the redhead, the other’s mouth lip synching with the lyrics being sung by their singer... The whole world seemed to slow down a little bit, and the way those lips twist into an amused smile while he dances with his friends.

Hyde couldn’t help but feel a little something in his chest.

He was more than sure it was his heart beating just a little bit too fast.

English Translation of a song by my favourite Filipino band. Eraserheads.
Actually, my first language is... Ilonggo not Filipino. So sorry if I mistranslated this, I tried my best though. I just want to share this song to all of you guys. ^^

Pagmasdan ang ulan,
Unti-unting pumapatak sa mga halama't mga bulaklak
Pagmasdan ang dilim,
Unti-unting bumabalot sa buong paligid t'wing umuulan

(Look at the rain,
As it slowly falls on the plants and flowers,
Look at the dark,
As it slowly wraps the world in darkness when it rains)

Kasabay ng ulan bumubuhos ang 'yong ganda,
Kasabay rin ng hanging kumakanta

(With the rain, your beauty just keeps pouring
With the wind that sings)

Maari bang huwag ka na
Sa piling ko'y lumisan pa hanggang ang hangi't ula'y tumila na

(I just hope you don't
Leave my side, stay with me until the rain subsides</I>)

Buhos na ulan, aking mundo'y puno ring tuluyan
Tulad ng pag-agos mo,
'Di mapipigil ang puso kong nagliliyab
Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw,
Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka

(The rain keeps pouring and my world is filled up again
Just like how you keep pouring
My heart can't help but burn
Love that's overflowing
My feelings all overjoyed
When it rains and you're near)

Pagmasdan ang ulan,
Unti-unting tumitila
Ikaw ri'y magpapaalam na
Maari bang minsan pa, mahagkan ka't maiduyan pa
Sakbibi ka't ulan lamang ang saksi

(Look at the rain,
Slowly it seems
You're saying goodbye
Sometimes, it will kiss you and rock you
It will take care of you watching over you)

Minsan pa ulan bumuhos ka't h'wag nang tumigil pa
Hatid mo ma'y bagyo, dalangin ito ng puso kong sumasamo
Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw,
Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka

(Sometimes when it rains, I just wished it just keep on falling
Bring in a typhoon, and my heart will be swept away by the strenght
Your love is overflowing
My feelings all overjoyed
When it rains and you're there)

Maari bang minsan pa, mahagkan ka't maiduyan pa
Sakbibi ka't ulan lamang ang saksi

(Sometimes, it will kiss you and rock you
It will take care of you, watching over you)

Buhos na ulan, aking mundo'y lunuring tuluyan
Tulad ng pag-agos mo,
'Di mapipigil ang puso kong nagliliyab
Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw,
Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka

(The rain keeps pouring and my world is filled up again
Just like how you keep pouring
My heart can't help but burn
Love that's overflowing
My feelings all overjoyed
When it rains and you're near)

Minsan pa ulan bumuhos ka't h'wag nang tumigil pa
Hatid mo ma'y bagyo, dalangin ito ng puso kong sumasamo
Pag-ibig ko'y umaapaw,
Damdamin ko'y humihiyaw sa tuwa
Tuwing umuulan at kapiling ka

(Sometimes when it rains, I just wished it just keep on falling
Bring in a typhoon, and my heart will be swept away by the strenght
Your love is overflowing
My feelings all overjoyed
When it rains and you're there)