1
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
2
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Damn we fucked up.but that shit was fun!"
3
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
4
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
5
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
6
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
7
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. it can be anything you want-good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised about what people remember about you.

When you're feeling stupid, read this

“Smoking kills, if you're killed, you'v I e lost a very important part of your life.”
~Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”
~Miss Alabama's Heather Whitestone in the 1994 Miss USA contetest, who was later selected as Miss America 1995

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean i'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
~Mariah Carey

“I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body”
~Winston Bennett, University of kentucky basketball forward.

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country”
~Mayor Marion Barry, Washington DC.

“I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”
~Hilary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.”
~A congressional candidate in Texas.

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
~Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

“it isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
AND
“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
~Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
~Dan Quayle

“We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
~Lee Lacocca

“The word “genius” isnt't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
~Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst.

“We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people”
~Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

“If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
~Bill Clinton, Former President of the United States

“Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.”
~Keppel Enderbery

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
~Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it wil monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.”
~Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman