WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some reason, that's ok.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it too.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we started out at just 4 hours ago.

5. We drop our 3am submarine sandwich/pizza slice on
the floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its nobody's business.

6.We start crying and declare to everyone we see, including people we barely know, that we love them SOOOO MUCH.

7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song comes on because "OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. We're suddenly full of profound spiritual wisdom... and
>so is the geek next to us.

9. We don't see anything wrong with making out with >profs/co-workers/boss should they be around

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, get up on the table or bar and start to sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to us.

11. Our eyes just won't seem to stay open by themselves, so we keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.

12. We've suddenly taken up smoking and we believe we're really good at it

13. We yell at the bartender who we believe has cheated us by giving us just orange juice, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.

14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the floor.. or like the mop.

15. We start every conversation with a slurred "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before we sit on it.

17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. We are tired, but we are troopers so instead of going home, we just sit on the floor wherever we are standing and take a quick nap.

19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly jeans to cut down on the time we're in the bathroom away from our drink.

20. We take our shoes off because a) they're ridiculously impractical... but soo beautiful! b) We believe it's the shoes' fault that we can't walk straight.

21. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter who said what or who went home with whoever else - we ALWAYS call each other the next day

i got my tickets 2 go see bon jovi.....woop woop
how much u bettin i make front row again????
xcitement!
now i jst gotta w8 7months till they cum...shite!
haha
x

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris uses his abs to smooth diamonds.

Chuck Norris does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

It was once believed that Chuck actually lost a fight to a terrorist, but that is a lie, created by Chuck himself to lure more terrorists to him.

Chuck Norris went tae the same school as Charles Bronson and stole his dinner money everyday.

Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of the dark…the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once killed a lion with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!

Anthropologists are studying Chuck Norris to try to find the origins of the lack of “flight” in his “fight or flight” response.

Chuck Norris used to racially abuse Bruce Lee to his face, and forced him to cook him Chicken choi mein every night free of charge.

Alex Salmond has abandoned any future plans for wind farms in Scotland. He is just going to use Chuck Norris’s arms to power the whole of Scotland and sell the surplus energy to the East Coast of America.

There was a Comet headin straight for Earth one year ago, it was too big for Nasa to destroy wi Nuclear bombs... so they phoned Chuck Norris to jump up on springs and punch fuck oot it.

Chuck Norris once challenged John Smeaton to a square go. Mr Smeaton kindly refused the advance.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.

If you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because Chuck Norris allowed you to.

Chuck Norris once held down eight Tigers and gang raped them.

Chuck Norris dosent sleep, he waits.

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he’s actually pushing the ground down.

The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when the heard that Chuck Norris had been born.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.

Chuck Norris drowned a fish.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loded revolver… and wins.

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

When God said, “Let there be light”, Chuck Norris said, “say please.”

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

Chuck Norris knocked that terrorist oot, then lit his roll up aff that jeep.

Chuck Norris calander goes stright from 31st of March to the 2nd of April……No one fools Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris put ‘laughter’ into Manslaughter!!!

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murderes in Aberdeen, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not “attempt” murder.