I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for meto satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's goto the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,"WHAT?" I then said,
"Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

001: Full Name - Jason Daniel Peter Hunter
002. Nickname – Jay
003. Confirmation Name - Peter
004. Zodiac Sign - Scorpio
005. Male or Female- Male
007. iPod - Samsung YP
008. Single or taken – single
009. Screenname: Goonerballs
010. Hair Color- Dark Brown
012. Hair Long or Short - it changes
014. Eye Color - brown
015. Are you health freak - Ha!
016. Height - 6ft (around)
017. Do you have a crush on someone - not at the moment
018. Do you like yourself - I lick myself?
019. Braces? - no
020. Think your awesome? - I know
021. Piercings - no
022. Tattoo - no
023. Righty or Lefty - righty

* YOUR FIRSTS *
024. Surgery - Had a skin graft on my arm cos I got burned by a bike engine.
025. First piercing - A badge in my thumb skin
026. First best friend - Dec McKee
027. First Award - probably for running at sports day
028. First Sport You Joined - Basketball
029. First pet - Goldfish from a carnival
030. First vacation – Canada when I was 5
031. First Concert – O2 in the park a few years back.. me and hilz tryin 2 sneak backstage!
032. First love - Cant say.. Dont wana stir any pots

* YOUR FAVOURITES *
033. Movie - Forrest Gump
034. Favorite tv show - Two Pints
035. Color - Blue
036. Music - Arctic Monkeys or anythin else good
039. Drink - Miller... then Double Vodka Lime in the shites
040. Body part (on a boy/girl): ass or eyes
041. Sport i'd love to Play - American Football
042. Favorite piece of clothing - Arsenal Shirt
043. Brand Of Clothing? Anythin different
044. What do you sleep with? Porky.. had him forever
045. Favorite School – Those words dont go together
046. Favorite Animal(s) - Chimps
047. Favorite Books – Wheres wally
048. Favorite Magazines – Zoo
049. Favorite Soccer Team – Arsenal
050. Favorite Rugby Team - Munster
052. Favorite NFL Team - Carolina Panthers
053. Favorite County Player - ??
056. Favorite Chinese - Crispy Chili Beef
057. Favorite food after a nite out - Whatever

* YOUR FUTURE *
058. Want Kids? – At least one
059. Want to Get Married? – I wudnt rush into it
060. Careers in Mind: Open my own business

* WHICH IS BETTER ON OPPOSITE SEX *
068. Lips or Eyes - eyes
069. Hugs or Kisses - both please
070. Shorter or Taller – smaller
072. Romantic, Spontaneous or larma - all
073. nice stomach or nice arms - arms? stomach course!
074. Sensitive or Loud – both
075. Hook-up or Relationship – depends
076. Sweet or Caring – isnt that the same thing
077. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? trouble maker

* HAVE YOU EVER *
078. Kissed a Stranger - yes
079. Drank bubbles - Yep 'hic'
080. Lost glasses/contacts -
081. Ran Away From Home – For bout 2 hours til I got hungry
082. Broken a bone – not yet
083. Got an X-ray –yes
084. Broken Someone's Heart – dunno
085. Turned Someone Down - Think so
087. Cried When Someone Died - yep

* DO YOU BELIEVE IN *
089. God – Not really
090. Miracles – kina
093. Aliens – I reckon theres somethin out there
094. Magic – no
095. Heaven - Hope so
096. Santa Claus – Yeah Why?
097. Sex on the first date - If I feel obliged
098. Kissing on the first date – oh yea
099. Angels – wha

* ANSWER TRUTHFULLY *
100. Is There someone You Want To be with right now? – You.

Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.

P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

Chuck Norris' paradise is war.

Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.

Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.

Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.

Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.

The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.

Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.

Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.

On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.

Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.

Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself.

If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.

Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.

You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.

Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.

Chuck norris invented the corndog.

The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Chuck Norris belives the hype.

Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.

Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.

Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.

Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

Chuck Norris’ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight

Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing t