Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historian

http://madnesscombat.com/episodes/
http://www.madnesswiki.com/index.php...

Characters

One important thing to remember is that the characters' names are never really definite until Krinkels confirms them. However, fans have taken and probably will take the most obvious clues they have (wall-posters and such) and have asked Krinkels, whose confirmation of these names make them official. There are three main characters in the series:

Hank J. Wimbleton: Hank is the primary character in the Madness Combat series, having first appeared in the original Madness Combat cartoon. He appears to be exceedingly well-trained in the lethal arts, being an expert marksman and a skilled hand-to-hand fighter. In Madness Redeemer, he was revealed to be hunting "The Sheriff"; he successfully killed him in Madness Avenger, whereafter his goals are unknown (though some believe he hunts after "Jebus"). To date, Hank has died six times. The opening sequence of Madness Depredation nicknames him "The Protagonist" (a fitting title, as he is the series's protagonist).

Jebus Christ: The primary antagonist until Antipathy, he first appeared in Madness Combat. In the early episodes, he works for the Sheriff, but following the Sheriff's death in Madness Avenger he seems to be independent. Jebus possesses many supernatural abilities, including levitation, the ability to ward off bullets, and the power to resurrect people from the dead as zombies. He was also Hank's most dangerous opponent, having killed him four out of the six times Hank has died. In his cameo appearance in Antipathy, he has apparently given up violence and was shown passively raking leaves. To date, Jebus has died four times. The opening sequence of Madness Depredation nicknames him "The Savior". The Comedy Central television cartoon South Park also has an episode called Red Sleigh Down in which Jesus and Santa fight people with guns. This episode came after Madness Combat, however, so the show's creators most likely had the same idea.

Tricky the Clown: A clown, Tricky is named after an Internet meme popular at the time, known as xkittykittymeowmeow. xkittykittymeowmeow consists of a clown with an exposed, erect penis dancing to the "Sailor's Hornpipe". Krinkels parodied this by making Tricky Bangbanggooberblat, which consists of Tricky hitting Jesus over the head with his giant penis. This has caused many Christians to send Krinkels hate-mail, which he then mocks. Tricky first appeared in either Madness Redeemer or Madness Avenger, but fans are unsure; a M16-toting guy in clown makeup appeared in Redeemer, and in Avenger, an identically-costumed character appeared, wearing a jetpack and wielding an M60 machine gun. If he first appeared in Madness Avenger, it's possible Tricky was spawned by the Improbability Drive. Hank killed him by impaling him to a giant marshmellow with a stop sign, but he was resurrected (not by Jebus, but by the "Higher Power", according to Krinkels) as a zombie... only to be killed again, by a Steryr Aug and a Deagle. He recovered (still a zombie) in Madness Apotheosis, donned a welder's mask, and became a DJ at "Club M"; he survived this episode, unlike Jebus, Hank, or the first-appearing 1337 Agent. Tricky's appearance in Madness Depredation heralded Compromised Reality, a state in which he gained superior strength, speed, and fighting skill at the cost of his sanity (this came to be after Hank shot him in the face, so he was apparently normal before the injury); in this berserk state, he killed both Jebus and Hank. In the opening sequence of Madness Depredation, he is nicknamed "The Clown".

The Sheriff: Hank's first target, distinguished from the rest of the characters by his black "cowboy hat". Hank is first seen hunting down the Sheriff for unknown reasons; in Madness Interactive, it's because he stole Hank's pie, but Krinkels has said that only applies to the game, and not the series. The Sheriff is well-guarded, as suits his positio

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