Ok didnt know what to do for a blog so decided to write all my fave TV quotes!
My own work...

(Family Guy) Peter- "Wait I got an idea! An idea so smart my brain would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about"

(Family Guy)-Quagmire-"I felt guilty once but she woke up half way through"

(Simpsons)-Homer-"When I was young my dad would park me in fornt of the TV for hours, and I turned out TV"

(Simpsons)-Wiggum-"Bake 'em away, Toys"

(Simpsons)-Homer-"You could change your name to Homer Junior. The kids could call you hoju.."

(Simpsons)-Homer-"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"

(Simpsons)-Homer(while drunk)-"So I said, I don't have your money ya big boloney! You make me wanna RECH!"

(Family Guy)-Lois-"Peter you're such a child"
Peter-"Well, if I'm a child do you know what that makes you Lois....A paedophile.....
And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand here and take this from a pervert!”

(Simpsons)-Jimbo Jones-"You kissed a girl....that is so gay!"

(Simpsons)-Ralph-"My cats breath smells like catfood"

(Simpsons)-Wiggum-"Hey my asthma's gone, listen to me breath...WHEEAAAAGGHH!"

(Simpsons)-Australian-"You call that a knife? This is a knife"
Bart-"Thats not a knife, thats a spoon"
Australian-"I see you've played knifey-spoony before"

(Simpsons)-Homer-"But I don't even believe in Jebus!....Save meeee Jeeeebus!!!!!"

(Simpsons)-Homer(while stuck in a tar-pit)-"I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First, I'll just reach in and pull my legs out. Now I'll pull my arms out with my face."

(Scrubs)-J.D-(Thinks to himself)"Oh my god, its his ex-wife, the tension is unbelievable...say something....ANYTHING!" (shouts out)-"BANANA HAMMOCK!!"

(Simpsons)-Homer-"I never apologise, I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am"

(Simpsons)-Grandpa-"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star."

(Simpsons)-(During auditions to be Mr.Burns)
Random Guy-"Excellent"
Bumblebee Man-"Excellente!"
Homer-"Exactly"

(Simpsons)-Homer-"You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! Cos when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo...that was your best friends face!! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!"

(Simpsons)-Homer-"You're right Moe, you're always Moe"

(Simpsons)-Homer(sees the Gym)-"Gime? What the hell's a Gime?" (walks inside.) " Ooohh, a Gime!"

(Family Guy)-Peter (Has a choice between a boat and a 'Mystery Box') "Lois, a boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything! It could even be a boat! You know how much we've been wanting one of those!"

(Scrubs)-Dr.Kelso (after JD asked for a story from back in the day) "Well....back in 1968...I DON'T LIKE YOU!....The end"

(Scrubs)-Ted(to Dr.Kelso)-"Now thats not fair, you know I have stress induced dyslexia Dr Oslek"

(Scrubs)-Dr.Cox-"Well, you see its actually impossible to lie next to Jordan (his ex-wife)....as she merely hangs from the roof, wrapped in a cocoon, of her own wings.."

(Scrubs)-Dr.Cox-"I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it."
(later in episode)-"This moment is so great,I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one, and raise a family of little moments!”

(Scrubs)-Janitor-(To JD)-You will not ruin my Christmas. Not Again. Not this year.”
JD-“I’ve only worked here for three months!”

(Family Guy)-Stewie-“Well I’d love to stay and chat, but you’re a total bitch”

(Family Guy)-Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?”

(Family Guy)-Peter (at a museum as a child) “ Why did the dinosaurs die out?”
Museum man-“Because you touch yourself at night”
(Family Guy)-Peter-“Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphebits. It says ‘Oooooo’..�