add ur fines up an tell da truth

Smoked weed -- £10
Did acid or pills -- £5
Ever had sex at church -- £25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc -- £25
Had sex for money -- £100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20
Vandalized something -- £20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10
Beat up someone -- £20
Been jumped -- £10
Cross dressed -- £10
Given money to stripper -- £25
Been in love with a stripper -- £20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15
Ever drive and drank -- £20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50
Used toys while having sex -- £30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20
Went skinny dipping -- £5
Had sex in a pool -- £20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20
Cheated on your significant other -- £10
Masturbated -- £10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20
Done oral -- £5
Got oral -- £5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- £25
Stole something -- £10
Had sex with someone in jail -- £25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- £15
Had a threesome -- £50
Had sex in public -- £20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex --£25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred quid-- £20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- £25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25
Went streaking -- £5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15
Been arrested -- £5
Spent time in jail -- £15
Pissed in the pool -- £0.50
Played spin the bottle -- £5
Done something you regret -- £20
Had sex with your best friend -- £20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- £25
Had anal sex -- £80
Lied to your mate -- £5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25

xxxx

FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND: teri, biffy nd emma

FIRST SCHOOL: Bodringallt primary

FIRST CELL PHONE: 1 ov them really old motorola fings wa looked like a remote

FIRST FUNERAL: my one nd only brother dozzyyy
FIRST PET: dogs

FIRST BIG TRIP: france i think

FIRST FIGHT: mee fight youu joker

FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH: peter andre

FIRST TIME OUT OF THE COUNTRY?: wel outta uk woz wen i woz bowt 9-10

FIRST JOB: kebab shop but tha woz only a day or 2 been on fair 4 bowt 8months now

FIRST BEBO FRIEND: prob my sister hayley pmsl



EVERYONE HAS THEIR LASTS
LAST PERSON I HUGGED: my tits 2scared 2get 2 close 2 any1 now since i been single nd wel a girl noo thanks lol

LAST CAR RIDE: about a hour ago

LAST TIME I CRIED?: last week my nans funeral well party afta coz fightin nd i punched fridge nd it hurt i fink cant remember i was steamin

LAST MOVIE I WATCHED: twintown lol

LAST FOOD I ATE: well i had a chicken sandwhich wiv salad cream this morn not much of a eater anymore only time of the month but now i know im due off pmsl

LAST ITEM BOUGHT: 10bottles of french lager lol

LAST SHIRT WORN: my pj top haha dont hate me coz am sexy hate me coz ya man fancies me

LAST PHONE CALL: hayley

LAST TEXT MESSAGE: marcus (stunt guy fing)

LAST THING I TOUCHED: keyboard
LAST FUNERAL: myy nannahz last friday

LAST TIME AT THE MALL: last week

LAST TIME I WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING: now cant wait till i go back over mammys 2mo

LAST PERSON I SAW: wel hayley,krystal nd daddy nd my bottle im drinkin ehh

LAST THING I DRANK: tha french lager i woz jst on bowt haha

LAST PERSON THAT BROKE MY HEART: my ex bobby lol prick anyway

LAST TIME I WERE REALLY HONESTLY HAPPY?:afta nans funeral wen i woz wiv all my family and ppl who new me wen i woz a baby haha even tho ther woz fightin at bowt 9 but party went frm 1 house 2 anuva nd en 2 meii mams which i dunno wa time tha ended coz i woz in bed at 2 nd wel daniel tried wakin me up at 3ish so e sez but no matter how hard e tried e didn wake me up haha shame tho x x

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid £8 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass.?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

15.When you get a haircut over the weekend, come into work and people ask "Did you get a hair cut?" ... No you arsewipe. I woke up this morning and it was like that.