Blooooooogg

Ever hear someone quote some hackneyed proverb or some stupid expression they read on a greeting card somewhere, which causes you to think: "man, what a stupid bitch, I would love nothing more than to bludgeon her head against the wall"? Sure, we all have. These are a collection of some of the phrases that piss me off most.

May or may not be:

Ever hear someone say "that may or may not be the case," as if there's some hidden third possibility that we weren't aware of? Thanks for pointing out the only two possibilities in the universe shit-cock. These are the worst kind of people to talk to because they try so hard to be open-minded that it sounds like the debate in a political science class where no opinion is too stupid for the professor to consider and the same fat kid keeps raising his hand to tell you his dumb ideas about free market capitalism as you fantasize about repeatedly stomping his face into a jar. I hate talking to open-minded people. They're the same kind of people who emphasize every other word when they type as if you can somehow hear their obnoxious cadence in your head, for example: "we didn't go to the store, but we DID buy a cake." Cool it Shatner, we don't read in the same voice you speak.

Well that's just your opinion:

This one pisses me off just thinking about it. If you slit my throat right now you'd get shot in the eye with boiling blood. Any time you say something sucks around someone who disagrees, they try to validate their taste in shitty music/movies/clothing by reminding you that you still only speak for yourself, as if their opinions are in jeopardy of being monopolized by your own. Everyone already knows it's my opinion by virtue of the fact that I said it, no need to restate the obvious you dopey twat.

It takes one to know one:

Ever call someone a whore only to be countered with the bullet-proof come back: "well it takes one to know one"? You're basically saying "yes, I spread my legs for money, as do you." Good job Ms. Rotten-crotch, you've rebuked nothing. What difference does it make if the person calling you a slut is one as well? You're still a skanky bitch who charges money for hand jobs--and why the hell are you charging for a hand job anyway? Unless all your clients are paralyzed, any prostitute caught charging someone for a hand job should be sued for extortion. That's another reason prostitution should be legal: you can't really sue a prostitute for extortion if prostitution is illegal now can you wise ass?

I'm a child at heart:

Yeah, you're a child at heart, just as soon as children start going to work every day to rot in a cubicle for a meager pay check so they can drink their troubles away in a shitty bar for the rest of their lives. Unless you're an astronaut, secret agent, vampire hunter, or all three, you're probably a sellout; screw you. Nobody wanted to be a regional director of sales or an investment banker when they were kids. On top of that, nobody thinks you're cute or funny by stating you're a "child at heart" on your stupid online profile that you created because you're a boring middle-aged loser with sagging tits and yellow nails who survives off greasy TV dinners every night as you contemplate the exact moment your life became such a miserable shit hole. But hey, don't take my word for it. After all, passing by "Cartoon Network" as you're flipping through channels technically makes you a "child at heart." Either that or the world's oldest virgin.

Sorry, but (also known as "No offense, but"):

Girls usually say this when they think they're being clever: "sorry, but you're a moron." It's a phrase derived from the expression people use when they're breaking some bad news to an old friend: "I'm sorry to say this, but the results are back and... you're an idiot." The only problem is, they never intend to say it with such eloquence, but rather, they use the phrase like it's a blunt object, hammering their squar

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, however, security levels may have to be raised again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'.
Londoners have not been 'A Bit Cross' since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have also been re-categorised from 'Tiresome to a 'Bloody Nuisance. The last time the English issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning level was during the great fire of London in 1666.
The French government also announced yesterday that it had raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and ' Collaborate'. This latest rise was precipitated by a fire that destroyed France 's White Flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
In addition to the British and the French, Italy has increased its alert level from 'Shout Loudly and Excitedly' to 'Elaborate Military Posturing'. Two more levels remain, 'Ineffective Combat Operations' and 'Change Sides'.
Belgians on the other hand are all on. holiday and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
Finally the Spanish are very excited as their new submarines are ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so that the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy