As some of you may know, Sweeney Todd: The Movie will be coming out in January 2008. It stars Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen, amoung others. It is directed by Tim Burton.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, I am a fan of the musical, and in particular a fan of Stephen Sondheim who wrote he music and lyrics for the show.

The point of this post is to give my views and hopes for the film.

For those of you who don’t know, the musical is about a barber named Sweeney Todd who comes to London to seek his family. He learns that his daughter is the ward of the judge who sent him out of the country unfairly and his wife has apparently killed herself after being raped by the said judge. Sweeney meets a pie maker in London, Mrs. Lovett, who makes “The Worst Pies In London.” Her shop is where his barber shop used to be. She tells him that he can use the upstairs part of her shop to do his barbering business again, while he tries to get revenge on the judge by killing him. In the meantime, he kills every person who comes to his shop and Mrs. Lovett makes pies out the them to get rid of the bodies. The story unfolds from there…

I think that this musical should be rated 16 (or American “R”). Tim Burton said so himself that he was aiming for an “R” rating. Whether the studio (Warner Bros.) will allow this remains to be seen. Since the film has already been shot and is currently in post-production, we might see an “uncut” version on DVD if it ends up being rated PG-13 for cinemas.

There are many people rooting for a PG-13, though (mostly those who are not yet 16). They seemed to forget, however, that the Judge’s “Johanna” song will HAVE to be in the movie, and that song alone can take it to 16. The Judge is seen flogging and pleasuring himself by watching his adopted daughter undressing through the keyhole of her bedroom.

That, and the fact that cannibalistic acts are witnessed in the musical, should push it for 16. If it is not 16, then this musical would not be done justice. One’s audience might be smaller, but the quality and story would be better.

Besides the rating, I am concerned about Johnny Depp. Firstly, because I don’t want to see screeching fan girls in the row in front of me giggling about how hot Johnny Depp is. Secondly, because this is probably the most difficult singing part in in musical theatre, and Johnny has no singing experience whatsoever. I heard that Sondheim auditioned him, so we’ll wait and see.

I am also a little scared for Tim Burton. He is a fine director, but he will attract these emo-pre-teens with black dyed hair to the movie. That is the last thing that this film needs. I don’t want to sit with fan girls in front of me and goth-wannabe-nightmare-before-Christmas-tee-shirt kiddies behind me.

Helena Bonham Carter. She’s a fine actress, but her singing voice is a little weak for Mrs. Lovett, if Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride is anything to go by.

Anyway, I won’t judge this movie before I at least see a trailer. We don’t even have a poster yet. The one above is a fan-made poster.

Hope they don’t mess too much with it. Sondheim’s work is perfect as it is. One doesn’t mess with perfection.

This is just a fun little poem I wrote today after I finished writing the exam and was forced to sit there for an extra forty minutes while everyone finished, although every was already finished.

Enjoy!

BOREDOM IN THE EXAM

I’ve just finished writing English
(My third to last exam)
It certainly was easy(ish) - of that I can confess
Although question two was not as easy as the rest
It certainly was easier than my other English test.

But then the problem still remains
Of how much time there still remains
Still, here I must remain until I go insane.
(Add One more line to complete the rhyme).

Tick tock, it’s ten o’clock
I cannot go; the time’s not up
Forty minutes – time has stopped
I’m sure that clock is broken, though
It’s already going backwards, so
There was an old lady who swallowed a spider
That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
And I’m certain that must’ve tasted quite coarse
Because later in the song she swallows a horse
I think that later she swallowed a bat
And after that she swallowed a cat.
Perhaps she’ll die.

Right, that was random, let me move on
Old ladies swallowing things is just wrong
Is it “is” or “are” – I cannot recall
Perhaps it is “was” – oh, bugger it all!

Mia is sitting at the desk beside mine
She seems to do well passing the time
She’s playing Sudoku, a mathematical game
It must be quite fun ‘cause she seems entertained

I wish I could leave – that would have been swell
Instead I have to sit here – it’s like rotting in hell
Soria’s banging her head on the desk
That looks like fun. I’ll give it a test.

That didn’t work. Now my head’s very sore.
Her head must’ve been when she swallowed a boar
No…I don’t think she swallowed any boars
She swallowed a cat and even a horse!

Time is up. Oh! Whoop-de-doo!
Now I can go and do other things I want to do

I.T. Is next and you have to concede it
It’s very difficult. Wish me luck…
I’ll need it