du dis
Dear jade,

You have a cute ______.

You make me ______.

You should ______ me.

Someday I will _____ you.

You + me = __________.

If I saw you now I'd _________.

I would build a ________ just for you.

I would get your name tattooed on my _____.

If I could sing you any song it would be ________.

We could ________ under the stars.

Love,
________

(P.S. _______.)

.

Medical science was still in it's infancy back in the days of tearing bread into strips in dipping it in hot cocoa, and the best they could do for me was a prosthetic head made of plastic and concrete. Officially, I had brought it all on myself, so the judge said, and after a thorough investigation involving multiple levels of powerful government agencies, he deemed my insurance policy void and cancelled all cause for compensation. It turned out the neighbours had filmed me the night I got spasticatedly drunk and thought it would be funny to run around the back yard with a lit stick of dynamite in my mouth. My head was blown into several pieces and my brain fell out. The video was submitted as evidence that turned the tide of the case in favour of the insurance company, but the neighbours somehow forgot to show the remainder of the footage that would have showed their dog eating my brain and that they didn't even help me collect my eyes etc.

Several doctor's visits finally convinced me that nothing could be done back then, so I simply put it all on ice and followed the neighbour's dog around for a few days with a pooper-scooper. This too was put in the cooler and I had to settle for the prosthesis. Life was tough. No more tearing bread into strips in dipping it in hot cocoa, no more funky hairstyles, and no more beards. As the years ticked by, the doctors slowly advanced their medical know-how and one day they arrived to say that I didn't need to keep my eyes on ice anymore. I was ecstatic to learn they had cloned my a new head. The only problem was that because a brain develops according to a persons life, they couldn't clone it, but I had the perfect solution. I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a note asking "Do you have any jars?" and then motioned towards the contents of the pooper scooper.