Talking about elephants in the Zoo
Darragh- "I saw a real elephant in Kenya"

Franz- "What do you feed your hamster?"
Darragh- "I dunno, he ate a carrot once"

Darragh- "Feed the world... It's like Make History Poverty"

Tony- "Fuck you Darragh"
Darragh- "I would fuck myself... cos i'm amazingly hot"

Franz- "Everybody's all old and mingin here"

Fireguy- "If you do firspitting you get damaged organism..."
Franz- "... you're and organism ya tit!"

Darragh- "Jay, your legs are disgusting"
Moyles- "like you have the legs of an angel"
Darragh- "I have the legs of an eight year-old???"

Moyles (sitting beside a black guy)- "Lads... I think we're on a train full of immigrants"
Franz (shouting down the train)- "Jay!!! Do you know what this gobshite just said???!!!! He said he thinks we're on a train full of immigrants!"

Franz- "I say we go to a pub where the cheap is alot drinker"

Dara- "Free smorgusboard!"

How best to get girls to fall at your feet....

1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever

BRING BACK THE 90'S!


ANYBODY UNDER THE AGE OF 13 SHOULD NOT RE-POST THIS.
JUST CAUSE YOU WERE BORN IN '93' OR '94' DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A 90s KID.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU COULD REMEMBER SOME OF THE ORIGINAL SIMPSONS.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A IRISH 90s KID IF...

YOU CAN SING THE RAP TO "THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELL AIR"

YOU'VE WORN LEGGINGS AND FELT COOL.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY WORTH GETTING UP ON A SATURDAY MORNING TO WATCH LIVE & KICKING OR SM:TV.

YOU HAD A HUGE FRINGE AT SOME POINT IN YOUR CHILDHOOD.

YOU REMEMBER READING AND WATCHING "GOOSEBUMPS"

YOU REMEMBER THE CRAZE OF YO-YOS AND TAMAGOTCHI'S

YOU STILL GET THE URGE TO SAY "NOT" AFTER EVERY SENTENCE.

NOT.

YOU COLLECTED POKEMON CARDS AND TRADED THEM.

YOU PLAYED AND/OR COLLECTED POGS.

YOU HAD A WEIRD ALIEN THAT LIVED IN GOOEY STUFF IN A PLASTIC 'POD' AND THOUGHT IF YOU STUCK 2 BACK TO BACK THEY WOULD HAVE A BABY OR THEY WOULD OPEN THEY'RE EYES ON THE MILLENIUM!

YOU WATCHED THE ORIGINAL POSTMAN PAT, FIREMAN SAM AND NINJA TURTLES.

YIKES PENCILS WERE THE BEST!-WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?

YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE NEW BEANIE BABIES WERE ALWAYS SOLD OUT

YOU GOT YOUR MUM TO BUY 'BN' BISCUITS

YOU USED TO WEAR THOSE STICK ON EARRINGS, NOT ONLY ON YOUR EARS BUT AT THE CORNERS OF YOUR EYES.

YOU KNOW THE MACERENA BY HEART.

"TALK TO THE HAND" ENOUGH SAID.

YOU REMEMBER THE TIME BEFORE LITERACY AND NUMERACY HOUR EXISTED.

YOU THOUGHT BRAIN FROM "PINKEY AND THE BRAIN" WOULD FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

FURBY'S!!!

YOU REMEMBER BUM BAGS.

YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON FUN HOUSE

BOSCO!!!!!! OR BARNEY!!!

2 WORDS; BACKSTREET BOYS.

YOU WORE DISNEY PLASTIC RUCKS