-"Thank goodness, another guitar player!"
-"Everybody needs to try harder to speed up..."
-"You can hardly hear the bagpipes.."
-"Don't you just love it when Martin plays tunes in F?"
-"Welcome to the session my name is..."
-"Sorry we are saving that seat just in case a bodhran player comes in"
-"Put the fiddle on the ground it will be ok there"
-"It's time for the last tune will we play a slow air"
-"Since it seems like nobody knew the last 5 obscure tunes I played, I will start playing some more well known ones"
-"Keep tapping that glass with the coin its lovely"
-"Let's have another lovely sean nos song, Pat. We've only had five ..."
-"C'mon lads. Let's all shove up and give the bodhran player some room."
-"No more drinks! I have had enough."
-"I love all that ad libing! It adds so much to the fullness of the tune."
-"Am I strumming too loud?"
-"Thanks again for telling me what key we're in."
-"May I have that chair between the bodhrans?"
-"Its amazing how you can play along even when you never heard the tune before in your life!"
-"Its nine o'clock. We should start wrapping it up..."
-"I don't know" - Bodhran Bliss
-"Its ok Lads and Lassies, Its my Round..."
-"I've only been playing this cello for like 2 weeks so you'll have to bear with me."
-"You can never have too many whistles!"
-"Thanks so much for speeding that tune up for me! I didn't mean to start it at that speed."
-"Don't worry about it, it's time I got a new one anyway. (After some drunkard vomits on or otherwise destroys your favorite instrument)...
-"It sounds great when you mix the parts up on that tune!"
-"Those ear-piercing shrieks your whistle makes every few notes really add a genuine feel to the tune."
-"Why the hell haven't electric guitars become standard session instruments?"
-"I think it's wonderful you continue to play along loudly on every tune you don't know - it's the only way to learn and you're really adding to the music!"
-"Is my banjo out of tune?"
-"More cowbell/triangle."
-"Go ahead, noodle away--that's a great way to learn the tune."
-"Accordians, accordians, we need more accordians."
-"This session is for guitars, mandolins and bodhrans only."
-"You should take up piano accordion - it's so much more versatile than the 2-row button box."
-"You play the spoons, come play with us."
-"You should have brought sheet music for the rest of us too."
-"Thanks for raising your voice in your conversation while we were playing. I could hear you just fine over those noisey banjos, fiddles, concertinas, harmonicas, piano, whistles, guitars and punters!"
-"Why dont we play boring hack tunes all night long - hhmmm, not sure about that Sweeny's Buttermilk - that might be too modern...."
-"You know, I really wish we had a djembe player..."
-"Could you play that banjo a bit louder, please?"
-"I was just thinking the other day that we need to play Music For A Found Harmonium more..."
-"Cool.... you brought a tuba!"
-"Sure, we can make room for a music stand."
-"I love the way you miss my nose by an inch with your bow. It really helps me relax.
-"I've added quarter-tone frets to my 12-string, so now I can play perfectly in tune with the fiddles"
-"It's great when the youngsters join in. They are always so respectful of their elders."
-"Listen to this great hornipe I learnt recently, anybody know what it's called???....then play a few bars of 'The Boys of Bluehill' [moon]
-"Sorry - am I a bit loud on the drum?"
-"Oh, you already have one guitar player. I'll just sit and listen tonight."
-"The landlord's agreed to pay us all at the standard Musician's Union hourly rate, so if you can all write on this sheet how long you've played tonight I'll prepare an invoice for him"
-"Michael, may I have a peek at your O'Neills for the next tune?"
-"Can I borrow your tuner?"
-"I love the challenge of playing along to singers who pitch themselves a quarter

locking your family out of the house and having to call a carpenter and the guards to get in.thats a normal occurence.So too is falling UP the sloped floor in the cinema. And lets not forget burning through a phone line with a panini maker.Oh and enjoying the "shape" of a room.And what about needing to be surgically attatched to one's phone to avoid constantly leaving it places such as the student center, tesco and starbucks.what else? describing oneself as a "big ball of autism" and as " a human trapped in a raisins body".Thinking Tesco Value bubble wrap is the most amazing birthday present ever. Believing that lizards are going to take over the world and screaming loudly when your friend makes a lizard face at you.getting lost in the library because it's just sooooo big and confusing and it's not like we've been living in there for the last month.Point blank refusing to crosss the road unless "green man" is present.being obsessed with exclamation marks.Not being able to find the no.8 bus stop even though you've been using it since September 2006. Wanting to take a shower but "not being able to afford such a luxury".Locking yourself in a room on Christmas Day.Having the tendancy to leave the fridge door wide open when you've gotten what you needed out of it,handing in your CV to a hotel and saying that you would be willing to do any type of work they have available and later finding out it also ran as a brothel, leaving a trail of coffee behind you in Coffee Dock...Mistaking the name "Clinton Morrision" for "Tin Tin Morrison"......


Written by Sandra O'Sullivan, 2008

PSYCHOLOGY LECTURES:
-"You will never get up friday mornings, dont even pretend you will so you wont know anything about human development or abnormal psychology..."
-Genetics- "We were all once monkeys and we will all die soon or develop gills..." (Mike Murphy)
-"Ammmmmm" (Mike Murphy)
-"Meh?" (Anna O'Reilly-Trace)
-"You're getting a lot of elephantshit from me right now!" (Ronnie Swain)

PSYCHOLOGY TUTORIAL:
- "the only useful thing that Freud invented was the expression "tightarsed" (Mike Murphy)
- "ammmmm" (Mike Murphy)

STATISTICS:
- bla bla bla bla bla alpha beta bla bla bla
-"I must be drunk..." (Dr. Jurek Kirakowski)
-Ways Jurek describes statistics..."This kind of shit..."..."Its Black Magic"
-"Oooopsahh...that's a mistake!" (Jurek Kirakowsi)

RESEARCH:
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PHILOSOPHY LECTURES:
-"Qualia is the raw sensation of experiencing something...that oomph you get when you experience the sharp tangy smell of camembert whilst walking through the English market." (Dr. Joel)
-"The moon is made of green cheese" (Dr. Joel)
-"You're just a brain in a vat, controlled by evil scientists" (Dr. Joel)
-"some kind of a yoke" (Dr. Clarke)
-"Lets talk about what the meaning of "is" is......"???!! (Dr. Joel)
-"To get a coke out of a machine, one could stick their hand up its hole" (Dr. Joel)
-"CUFFEEEE!!!" (Dr. Joel)

PHILOSOPHY TUTORIAL:
-"Beam me up Scottie" (Oisin)
-"How do we know that we are not living in the Matrix?" (Oisin)
-"I just fell off my bike" - Oisin stumbles in looking stoned..."It's a crazy world out there"

SOCIOLOGY LECTURES:
-"All alone is all we are"
-"The person who spends time staring into the abyss should beware, for the abyss begins to stare back"
THESE KIND OF QUOTES ALONG WITH THE SHEER BORINGNESS OF SOCIOLOGY IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ANYONE WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES...SOMEHOW I HAVE NOT...YET.

SOCIOLOGY TUTORIAL:
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 nt really learn much!