Rules of men

1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period.

4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his frinds home)

5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.

6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.

8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.

11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then your not a man.

12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.


13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under €50 , you are required to replace it. If the item costs over €50 , you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than €50 on something that isn't yours.

14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed.

15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.

Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car i

FARTING PERSONALITIES
D AMBITIOUS FARTER:1 whos always n dere 1st wit a fart nd guick 2 sniff out d competition.

D DUTCH OVEN FARTER:1 who farts n bed nd holds his partners head uder d bedclothes.

D NOSY FARTER:1 who inists on sticking his nose into others peoples farts.

D OBSCENE FARTER:1 who pulls down his pants b4 farting.

D QUESY FARTER:1 who farts nd feels sick at d smell.

D SNORKEL FARTER:1 who farts n d bath or swinning pool nd looks around for d fish.

D UNFORTUNATE FARTER:1 who tries very hard to fart but shits himself instead.

FARTING TYPES
BABLER BAZOOKA FART:d sort of fart that will wake u up at nite cause it smells so bad!day can b silent r noisy,but day are d most fetid,repulsive,smellest farts imaginable.

GREEN LIGHT FART:a fart were d conditions make it perfct 4 it 2 b released.this 1 can b as long nd loud as d issuer can make it.it raely occurs n lifts,cars,boadrooms r public places.

HAY FEVER FART:basically u fart when u sneeze,but d catch is that u cant smell it.

MOURNING FART:d 1st ting out of bed fart.loud long nd not 2 smelly,very staisfying 2 release all that gas after d nite time build up.

QUESTING FART:this farts starts out low nd rises n pitch towards its conclusion,sounding as if your arse is asking a question.

SADDAM HUSSEIN FART:chemical warefare has begun.u must call RTE nd send for United nation inspectors owing to the huge scale of d potential outbreak.

VIAGRA FART:after a long fart u feel ureseif aroused