1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the tras

WOW!!!
Try dis!!!
Pick the month (number) you were born in

1----I fell in love with
2----I ate a
3----I smacked
4----I sang to
5----I gave my number to
6----I killed
7----I shot
8----I Done a naked dance to
9----I choked on
10---I made out with
11---I bummed
12---I stabbed

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-------a homeless guy
2-------a kebab
3-------a banana
4-------a sandwich
5-------a Mexican
6-------a stuffed animal
7-------a hooker
8-------a lamp
9-------my best friend
10-------a goat
11-------my dog
12-------a ninja
13-------the computer
14-------a football player
15-------my neighbour
16-------myself
17-------a soda
18-------a llama
19-------a baby
20------ a gangster
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my dad
23-------a chair
24-------my psychiatrist
25-------a policeman
26-------my brother
27-------my sister
28-------a baseball bat
29-------a DVD player
30-------a paperclip
31-------my cell phone

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White------Because I was high.
Black-------Because I was drunk.
Pink--------Because i was bored
Red---------Because the voices told me to.
Blue--------Because I"m sexy and I do what I want.
Green------Because I hate myself.
Purple------Because I"m naked.
Gray--------Because I"m mentally disturbed.
Yellow------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 Euro
Shirtless---Because i was horny
Orange----Because I hate my family.
Brown-----Because i was hungry.
Other-----Because i"m gangsta


When one is finished, post a comment bout what ur birthday says bout u!!

My Mum -
My Daughter -
My Son -
My Dad - Martin McCanny
My Brother - Mark McCanny
My Sister - Aine McCanny
My Neighbour -
My Twin -
My Uncle - Raymond Kelly
My Auntie - Eileen Gallagher
My Cousin -
My Alcho friend -
My brother-in-law -
My sister-in-law -
My girl friend -
My sexi friend -
just friends -
My bit on the side -
My worst enemy -
My neice -
My nephew -
My guardian angel -
My secret saver -
My sugar plum -
My personal drinks maker -
My Beautiful Wife -
My fairy god mother -
My pet dog -
My pet monkey -
My SEXY alcoholic friend -
My al b ther for you friend -
My lovely girl -
My sexi girl -
my smexi girl -
My god mother -
My god father -
My beautiful flatmate -
My valentine -
My runny partner -
My chillin bhoy -
My hot admirer -
My messer upper -
My cleaner -
My krazee gal -
My class mate -
My grandmother -
My Hairdresser -
My Body guard - Cely Collins
My Hardcore Gangsta -
My Party animal -
My Bigg Bruva -
My bumchum -
My halfcat friend -
My super kul friend -
My best friend -
My Shop Alcoholic friend - has to be Irish
My boi -
My lucky charm -
My drinkin buddy - Aaron Kerr
My stalker -
My back up -
My fighter -
My gay friend -
My blonde friend - Stacey Munton
My dirty little secret -
My ledgend -
My little vampire - Miss Romero
My Very Tasty Bun - Hot Cross Bun (lol,duno hu he is)
My Personal Slave - Gemma McGaghran