Pick the month (number) you were born in

1----I fell in love with
2----I ate a
3----I smacked
4----I sang to
5----I gave my number to
6----I killed
7----I shot
8----I gave a lap dance to
9----I choked on
10---I made out with
11---I had sex with
12---I stabbed

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1--------a homeless guy
2--------a kebab
3--------a banana
4--------a sandwich
5--------a Mexican
6--------a stuffed animal
7--------a hooker
8--------a lamp
9--------my best friend
10-------a goat
11-------my dog
12-------a ninja
13-------the computer
14-------a football player
15-------my neighbor
16-------myself
17-------a soda
18-------a llama
19-------a baby
20------ a gangster
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my dad
23-------a chair
24-------my psychiatrist
25-------a policeman
26-------my brother
27-------my sister
28-------a baseball bat
29-------a DVD player
30-------a paperclip
31-------my cell phone

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White = Because I was high.
Black = Because I was drunk.
Pink = Because i was boared
Red = Because the voices told me to.
Blue = Because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green = Because I hate myself.
Purple = Because I'm naked.
Gray = Because I'm mentally disturbed.
Yellow = Because someone offered me 1,000,000 Euro
Shirtless = Because i was horny
Orange = Because I hate my family.
Brown = Because i was hungry.
Other = Because i'm gangsta

Leave a comment with your sentence

condoms cant live wit out them
Imagine if all the major brands started selling their own condoms and kept their original tag-lines.
> >>Dr.pepper - wats de worst dat cud happen??
> >>
> >>enviormental condoms - reduce, re-use, recycle!
> >>
> >>Heineken - stricly not availble for catholics till 1960!!
> >>
> >>Dominos - a fresh slice of family life in 30minutes
> >>
> >>PC world - the best of both worlds
> >>
> >>Gift Grub condoms - GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!
> >>
> >>Centra condoms - for the way we live today
> >>
> >>Nutrigrain condoms - keeps you going for longer
> >>
> >>Sainsbury condoms - making life taste better
> >>
> >>Tesco Condoms - every little helps
> >>
> >>Nike Condoms - Just do it
> >>
> >>Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
> >>
> >>KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good
> >>
> >>Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hand
> >>
> >>Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load
> >>
> >>Abbey National Condoms - because life is complicated enough
> >>
> >>Coca Cola Condoms - The real thing
> >>
> >>Pringles Condoms - once you pop, you can't stop
> >>
> >>Burger King Condoms - Home of the Whopper
> >>
> >>Goodyear Condoms - "for a longer ride, go wide"
> >>
> >>Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain?
> >>
> >>Flash Condoms - Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hard
> >>work
> >>
> >>Halford Condoms - we go the extra mile
> >>
> >>Royal Mail Condoms - I saw this and thought of you
> >>
> >>Andrex Condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
> >>
> >>Renault Condoms - size really does matter!
> >>
> >>Domestos Condoms - gets right in the rim
> >>
> >>vodafone condoms - conecting people
> >>
> >>Heineken Condoms -reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
> >>
> >>Carlsberg Condoms - probably the best condom in the world
> >>
> >>Pepperami Condoms - its a bit of an animal
> >>
> >>Polo Condoms - the condom with the hole!! (VERY poor seller !!)

!!the buffalo theory!!"u no da way buffalos travel in herds and lets just say a predetor like a lion wants to feed on this herd th lion is not goin to catch all the buffalo so he just picks out the slower weaker 1s which therefore leads to a stronger faster(overall) herd of buffalo so if u put this in drink terms nd drink kills de slow cells den increases de overall ablilty of de brain!!
-mikey andresson 1990-2009

"Thats all well and good but were drinking now"
-Lynchy

"I dont KO i just like lying down."
-me again


"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
-Homer Simpson

"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot."
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.

"I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
-Noel Coward

Drinking Light Beer is like having sex in a canoe...fucking close to water.
-Screech

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning thats as good as they're going to feel all day."
-Frank Sinatra

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-Ernest Hemingway

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
-W.C. Fields

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"
-Stephen Wright

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-"Henny Youngman

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
-Homer Simpson

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-Dean Martin

I drink to make other people interesting.
-George Jean Nathan

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-Jack Handy

He was a wise man who invented beer.
-Plato

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-Winston Churchill

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-Frank Zappa

Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
-Homer Simpson

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
-Tom Waits

"Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one."
-Homer Simpson

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-Humphrey Bogart

Bart: Can I be a boozehound? Homer: Not till your fifteen.

I drink beer because I can't spell cognac.
-Mickey Spillane


We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singin' "Whiskey for my men, and beer for our horses" .
-Toby Keith and WIllie Nelson


"I don't know what you're gonna do, but I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila, find me one of those kino girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and kinda...kick back."
-Willie Nelson, "The Electric Horseman"

Why don't we get drunk, and screw?
-Jimmy Buffett

Bart: "Can I get you a beer, Dad?"
Lisa: "No, I want to get him a beer!"
Homer: "Kids, kids. You can BOTH get me a beer."
-The Simpsons


He makes Martinis just the way I like them....full of alcohol.
-Homer Simpson

The liver is evil and deserves to be punished.
- T-shirt in Vegas


"I have made an important discovery that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxicat