Rules of shotgun!!! 2 hours ago

Section I - General Rules

1) The first person to yell "SHOTGUN" gets to ride in the front seat.

2) The remaining back seats may be divvied up in the same manner by being the first to call "back right seat", etc..

3) The word "shotgun" must be loud enough to be heard by at least one witness. If no witness is to be found, or in case of a tie, the driver has the final word. After all, it is most likely her car. (Note: if it isn't her car, and the owner is present, the owner's decision is final. Owner must be sober, however, or she will defer his judgment to the driver.)

4) Early calls are strictly prohibited. All occupants of the vehicle (including the driver) must be outside of the building and directly on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may a person call shotgun inside a building. For sake of simplicity, a garage is considered to be outside. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground.

5) A person may only call shotgun for one way of a trip. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.

6) Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. i.e. women don't own the front seat.

7) One is allowed to ride shotgun as many times as he can call it, but for himself only. No one can call shotgun for their slower friend, unless the friend has a speech or mental handicap that prevents them from calling it for themselves.

The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.


Section II - Special Cases

These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.

1) In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.

2) If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.

3) In the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, is going to accompany the group; he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.

4) In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate use of the window.

5) In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.

6) In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him crammed in the back.


Section III - The Survival Of The Fittest Rules (a.k.a The Bastard Rules)

1) If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival Of The Fittest Rules on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting 1.8, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force.

2) The driver must announce the institution of the Survival Of The Fittest Rules with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.

50 Reasons Why Chuck Norris Is A Legend! 127 days ago

1)Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2)Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3)Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
3)While riding the elevator, Chuck Norris never pushes the button, the elevator better just know what floor Chuck Norris needs to be on.
4)Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
5)When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6)If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
7)The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
9)Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
10)When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
11)Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
12)Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
13)Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
14)As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
15)If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
16)A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
17)If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.
1 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
19)Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
20)Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
21)Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
22)When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
23)Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
24)Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
25)Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
26)Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
27)At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
2 Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
29)A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
30)Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
31)According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
32)Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
33)Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.
34)The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's f

em felt like fillin this space so i hope this takes up loads of space cause my page is pretty bare