YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MAORI WHEN...

>-A nice restaurant is an 'all you can eat' place.
>-Someone in your family got pregnant at 15.
>-A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose.
>-You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day.
>-Breakfast is the left over food from last night.
>-Your sent to pick watercress for a funeral, 3 oclock in the morning.
>-You organise for a get together at 2 oclock, and everyone shows up at 5.
>-You get a hiding with a jandal/gumboot/chord/spoon
>-You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks.
>-You visit cuzzies, and someones wearing the clothes you left behind last time.
>-You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past.
>-You give the longest shout outs on the radio.
>-You have 6 people in the back seat of the car.
>-In a photo, someones pulling some kind of gang related hand signal.
>-Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting kutu's.
>-Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar... or the piano accordian!!!
>-You know all the words to 10 guitars.
>-You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae.
>-The words 'ow' 'chur' and 'sweet' are part of your vocabulary.
>-You go to school to eat the other kids lunch
>-You go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids
>-Bullrush was your fav sport
>-You think ur tribe is the best in the world
>-Your older brother makes you cry and your the one who gets a hiding for crying
>-All your marbles are ball bearings and you try to pass them off as steelies
>-Hello and goodbye is said by raising your eyebrows.
>-Your jandals / gumboots are: ur running shoes, ur workshoes, ur flippers and ur going out shoes.
>-Your swimming togs is a shorts and t-shirt.
>-You do bombs at the public pools where it says no bombing.
>-Brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.
>-You start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one
>-You're good at touch
>-At least one of your relations is a Coconut
>-You laugh at everyone who cant sing
>-You laugh at everyone who cant dance
>-You laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time
>-Your at a party with the guitar and everyone only knows half the words to all the songs u sing
>-You go to a party and at least a couple of ur relatives are sleeping on the table
>-You go to a party and they start passing round da cowboy hat 4 beers
>-You go diving with one flipper
>-Gumboots, jandals & a swandri are all considered #1's.
>-The whanau hangi sacks and baskets get passed down to you
>-Rotten foods are a delicacy
>-You try the whakapapa/tino rangatiratanga line to get into a public event
>-AND FINALLY.......you cant speak Maori except for what you remember from intermediate.

It's ALL true! DOITZ!

----------Puff, Puff, & Pass!--------------
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You've just been passed the Bong. Pass this bong to at least 4 of your friends to keep the green in rotation. Dont be greedy with tha shit