Paddy: Dont eat bread it makes things stick to your stomach!

Conor: Oh yeah the reaping thats a good film
Mick: Have you seen it?
Conor:No!

after watchin cinderella man- Paddy: He helped build a bridge after...nowadays they make so much money they wouldnt do that
Darren: Like yer man with the Goerge Foreman grill!

While watching Cinderella Man
Paddy: That punch dislocated his brain and when he hit the ropes it allocated it so now he'll win the fight!

Paddy: Im randomly ignoring insults....not randomly whats the word?
Me: No word just "im ignoring insults"
Paddy: No there is a real word!

Darren on harry potter and the philosophers stone being the best of the harry potters
"Its like saying its the best in the special olympics"

Shane: I felt gay buying that mickey finns!

CONOR : its got like 6 gears . . . . . forward!!

PADDY : i was going to get them glasses. you know the ones that tint at night, when the sun comes on!!

PADDY : i have grown to hate vagina!!

GOOCH : cats i fuckin hate them dirty filt things and they come up to all purrin and rubbin their stiff tale against you. dirty!!

GOOCH : are you fuckin retarded its the first left, number 55!!

SHANE : why dose "No." stand for number it makes no sense!!

FIACHRA : oh my god look look quick there is a car comin down of a lorry oh please can we stay and watch the ones come of the top!!

PADDY : i went home at the weekend and was so happy to see he didnt have a beard cos i cant grow one.(i ask) was he after shavin before you got there? (paddy replies) yes but thats not the point!!

SHANE : your excact words were "i love fat birds a bit more coushin for the pushin"!!

GOOCH : mick you missed it fiachra just pulled the balls of me

GOOCH : cant believe i dropped the dog out of my hot dog. im bein rode in carlow first i get a snack box with no chips now this now i no how women who get rapped feel. you know whats worse than this casration no wait this is worse.(he then picks up the dog tht fell out of his hot dog onto the footpath wipes it off puts it back in his hot dog and eats it)

CONOR : i saw a cat yeaterday running accross the yard with a mouse in its hand

GOOCH : does shit burn?

PADDY : numbers? even, odd or mixture ( e.g. 32 )

SHANE : ( i said ) its very wet today. (shane replies) well september is the wettist month of the year (i said) what ya mean (shane replies) it rains this time of year like in this month september (i said) are you for real you do relise that its november not september (shane replies) oh yea but its ok its the start of november so its still kinda september. . . . . wait no there is something wrong with that august, septembe , OCTOBER, NOVEMBER oh yea i fucked up. this is going on the wall isnt it (i said) yea it is but i wont be mean and tell paddy

PADDY: i always wanted to meet a lad whos cock is wider than it is long. you no to look at it.

Paddy: Defending the last comment "It makes sense youd always want to meet a man with a cock wider than it is long it would be hilarious....i stand by that!"

Fiachra: Colin you were very well behaved last night no licking of the face!

Mick:I cant find my keys anywhere
Fiachra: Do you want me to call them for ya?.....shit!

Gooch: Who gives you a snack box without any chips??.......FUCKIN POLISH!

Please note....Paddys head got 23% fatter over christmas!

right, where to begin. most people start these things at the beginning but their isn't much to say there so i will start at -a- beginning. i remember at age six i was sat at home on my couch, the smells of dinner wafting from the kitchen but i was vaguely aware of it. All my attention was on the tv. On The thundercats. it was Lionel who ensnared me most, his rippling biceps and rock hard abs made it impossible to look away. it had been not to long ago, during one of the episodes in which Lionel was particularly dashing that i had had my first erection and at that age i was not sure what to do with such a thing and -as i look back on it i still laugh at my naivety-i had discovered that humping the leg of the armchair had given me a particular thrill, so that was what i had made my daily routine, watching thundercats and humping (quite forcefully i have to admit) the sofa.

Now we will fast forward to the year 1996. it was in this year at the age of 12 going on 13 that i had my first -non furniture related- sexual experience. it was the summer holidays and me and a friend of mine john kenny had decided to go for an afternoon swim in the grand canal, we had swam for hours laughing as we dunked each others heads under the water and jumped in from the banks and finally crawlled out to collapse onto the grass and dry of in the sun. to me it seemed like fate (though i did learn a few years later he had had not much say in it, i was bigger than him nd he was afraid of what would happen if he resisted...sorry john) are lips came together and we kissed fiercely and eventually he gave me falatio.

so i was just beginning my teenage years having no sexual experience other than humping a couch and forced falatio. and still with no idea that i was gay. it was three years later in the Christmas of 1999 when i was really only starting to get into music that that revelation came about, i was watching tv when an old music video of boy George came on. it was then that i knew love. he was gorgeous an angel made flesh, his eyes were deep pools an boy could get lost in and his lips irresistible. it was after that i knew i had never looked at girls like all the rest of the lads i had used the time in which they were looking at the girls to check them out with out being caught. i begin to fashion myself on boy George wearing clothes and make up just like his needles to say this kind of openness led to a lot of beatings not only from my friends,my father,strangers on the streets but from my little sister, who bet me senseless with my mothers stilletto for taking her makeup.

as you can see growing up a homosexual on the streets of Dublin was not easy but things got better since finishing school and pursuing a career in fashion design i have had a string of romances, Enda my Scottish lap dancer, Will a foreign student from Africa (thats where my love for black rods was born!!) and most recently o have fallen in love with Michael he's a lady boy from Thailand and i'm pleased to say he has returned my love!

i suppose besides finally coming fully out of the closet to all those that didnt know me in my boy George days this blog is also a message. it says never give up, be yourself and in the end you'l get the cock you want.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

City with the most Rolls Royces per capita: Hong Kong.

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

Barbie\'s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world\'s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn\'t added until 5 years later.

\"I am.\" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term \"the whole 9 yards\" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got \"the whole 9 yards.\"

Hershey\'s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it\'s kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase \"rule of thumb\" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn\'t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the \"General Purpose\" vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The first NFL team that plays its home games in a domed stadium to win a Superbowl was the St. Louis Rams in 1999.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game

The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosy is a rhyme about the plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (\"Ring around the rosy...\"), these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies somewhere (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores (\"...a pocket full of posies...\"), People who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease (\"...ashes, ashes, we all fall down!\")

Q. What separates \"60 Minutes,\" on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter \"A\"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet proof vest