Okay so a guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school.
Unfortunately,
he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9
years
old.


One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They
have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already
asleep
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
As you
might expect things start to heat up.


The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
his
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if
she
wants a new position.

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

She screams.

Lettuce!!!

Tomato!!!

Whoa!!!

PULL IT OUT!!!

PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

I can't get pregnant!

Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*!

Interesting facts
INTERESTING FACTS

1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it)



2. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it)



3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(In my next life I want to be a pig)

(How'd they figure this out, and why?)



4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still can't get over that pig thing)

(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)



5. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)



6. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmmmmm........)



7. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)



8. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...?)

(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)



9. Polar bears are left handed.

(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?)



10. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)



11. The flea can jump 350 times its body length.

It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)



12. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.

(Creepy)



13. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the....)

(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)



14. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(In my next life I still want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)



15. Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Oh, Geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish)



16. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

(I know some people like that.)



17. Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that too.)