Chris Newson

Phew!! just finished plucking adele's ear beard. What a job!!!

8/9/09 | me too! | Reply

Chris Newson
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  • Male, 21, Luv 57
  • from Urenui
  • Profile views: 2,987
  • Last active: 1 hour ago
  • www.bebo.com/D00fa

About Me

Tagline
The Idea Of War Is Not To Die For Your Country, But To Make The Other Bastard Die For His
Me, Myself, and I
Well ya know right coz i like own my profile right well kinda part own but manage but yeh i dont you know right? Yeh well anyfist, as you see i like my music a lot.. so long as its not that "emotionally hardcore" homosexual bloody "i hurt myself so you cant" heart stabbing shit that gets played by 13 year old fuckwits everywhere. I think that man went to the moon, that global warming is a hoax by left wing, tree hugging, land-rights-for-gay-whales, soap avoiding cockbags, and that anyone who believes 9/11 was an inside job needs to first get a job and then kill themselves before i do, and say sorry to your dad in your suicide note for his wasted orgasm. Im a firm believer that death solves all problems.. no people, no problem :-) . On a brighter note... Im off to aus in feb to find myself a flying job so looking forward to that. anyway enough with this crap, im gona get drunk

Jesus drowns a baby everytime an emo song is played
The Other Half Of Me
Adele

Adele

Shes my gentle fisting..

Music
Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Nirvana, Alice In Chain, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Pink Floyd ( my favourite ), U2, ACDC, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, The Beatles, Breaking Benjamin, CCR, The Eagles, Creed, Crowded house, The Cult, The Datsuns, Def Leopard, Deftones, Faith no more, Green day, Guns n roses, Incubus, Iron maiden, Jet, Led Zeppelin, Limp Bizkit, Live, Marilyn Manson, Nickelback, The Offspring, Pantera, A Perfect Circle, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Rolling Stones, Shihad, Smashing pumpkins, Staind, Steriogram, Supergrove, System of a down, Tadpole, Van Halen, Velvet Revolver, Alice Cooper, Audioslave, Australian Crawl, The Beach Boys, The Clash, Deep Purple, The Doors, The Exponents, The Feelers, George Thorogood, INXS, Jimmy Hendrix, Korn, Midnight Oil, Monster Magnet, Oasis, Queen, Rage Against The Machine, REM, Radiohead, Ramstein, Sex Pistols, Soundgarden, Split Enz, The Police, Stone Temple Pilots, Sublime, Supertramp, Talking Heads, The Swingers....
More Music..
3 Doors Down, 4 Non Blondes, Bad Company, Black Crows, Blind Melon, The Bloodhound Gang, Bruce Springsteen, Bush, Butthole Surfers, The Cars, Chumbawumba, Cold Chisel, Crossfade, David Bowie, Default, Dire Straits, Evanescence, Everclear, Everlast, Grinspoon, Head Like A Hole, Incubus, Lynyrd Skynrd, No Doubt, Mudvayne, Slipknot, Tool, TRUSTcompany, Placebo, POD, Puddle Of Mudd, Reef, Silverchair, Steppenwolfe, Thin Lizzy, The Who, Weezer... few more but yeh thats most of the good ones
Sports
Does Computer Games Come Under This??
Drinks
STEINLARGER!!! ( the BIG bottles!!! )... and Whiskey BUT ONLY JACK DANIEL'S!!!.... mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Happiest When
looking at myself in the mirror..
talking about myself to myself by myself..
being a pilot coz my name is pilot im a pilot and pilot is what i are..
when ben touches me in inappropriate places, in inappropriate places...
Favourite Quotes
"They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages.Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows." - Some Random Linux Freak.........

"New Zealanders who move to Australia raise the IQ of both countries" - Rob Muldoon, Prime Minister of NZ 1975-1984
Scared Of
Rubber Fists... Heights and flying... C.I.A.. Pink T's... Johovahs Witnesses :)

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    • Aircraft Problems and Solutions

      Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

      P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands or the corrective action taken by the mechanics.

      P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
      S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

      P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
      S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

      P: Something loose in cockpit.
      S: Something tightened in cockpit.

      P: Dead bugs on windshield.
      S: Live bugs on backorder.

      P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
      S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

      P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
      S: Evidence removed.

      P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
      S: DME volume set to more believable level.

      P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
      S: That's what they're there for!

      P: IFF inoperative.
      S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

      P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
      S: Suspect you're right.

      P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
      S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

      P: Aircraft handles funny.
      S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

      P: Radar hums.
      S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

      P: Mouse in cockpit.
      S: Cat installed

      1 Comment 126 weeks

    • Bill Gates vs General Motors ( THIS IS GOLD! )

      At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

      "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

      In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

      "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

      1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
      Twice a day.

      2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

      3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

      4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

      5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

      6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

      7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

      8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

      9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

      10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

      0 Comments 135 weeks

    • Bar Survey

      WOMEN WHO DRINK:

      Beer
      Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
      Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

      Cocktails with an umbrella
      Personality: Flaky, dizzy, and a pain in the butt.
      Approach: Avoid, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

      Mixed drinks (eg. Scotch and dry)
      Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
      Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

      Water
      Personality: Pretentious, looking for a serious relationship.
      Approach: Don't.

      Wine (bottled, not 4-litre cask)
      Personality: Classy, sophisticated.
      Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

      Bacardi Breezer, Lemon Ruskie
      Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually
      has no idea at all.
      Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

      Baileys
      Personality: Annoying voice, tarty.
      Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

      Shots and slammers
      Personality: Hangs around with male work pals, looks to get drunk/naked.
      Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.


      MEN WHO DRINK:

      Cider
      Underaged, wants to get laid.

      Cheap Domestic Beer
      Poor/student, wants to get laid.

      Premium Local Beer
      Likes good beer, wants to get laid.

      Imported Beer
      Likes expensive beer, wants to get laid.

      Water
      Just threw up... trying to wash the taste out of his mouth, still wants to get laid.

      Wine
      Hoping the wine will give him a sophisticated image... and help him get laid.

      Vodka or Brandy
      Is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

      Port
      Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men... and wants to get laid.

      Whisky
      He doesn't give a hoot about anything... and will hit anyone who gets in his way of getting laid.

      0 Comments 142 weeks

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    What military position are you?

    My result is: Team Leader

    Your primary responsibility is leadership in combat, requiring competence, character and skill. Squad Leaders take charge by synchronizing the efforts of their fire teams. Armed with the M16A2 rifle or M4/M4A1 carbine, the Squad/Team Leader accepts overall responsibility for the success or failure of accomplishing the mission.
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    • Adele
      Adele

      Apparantly you can check lotto results online and see how much uv won, so u dont have to go into a lotto shop...

      Member the time in auckland wen u won, if only we knew that then.

      Oct 7
    • Adele
      Adele

      Omg i hope they bought it for you, now everyone can know how fat neckish you are! its perfect lol

      Things are alright, still looking for a job in hamz, havnt had much success. when are ur next holidays?

      Oct 1
    • Adele
      Adele

      Hello fatso, how are you, been up to much? i must be ur only friend because no1 else is leaving u comments lol :P

      Sep 26
    • Adele
      Adele

      yay cant wait till thurs! kinda boring here at the mo but when u arrive ill have my own personal taxi :D

      Sep 8
    • Adele
      Adele

      hi fatty, hows ur weekend going? did u get all ya assignments done and come up with ur million dollar invention?

      Aug 15
    • Adele
      Adele

      can u please not call me tht in public lol

      Aug 13
    • Adele
      Adele

      omg i just saw the earbeard thing, omg! lol how u fatface?

      8/12/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      yes, i am aware of this

      8/5/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      hello chris piss, about time u beboed me. I hope your doing well on ur course and if your not then ur a complete failure and a loser (o wait u already are) jks. But im proud of u and ur fatness. Have good night and if u dont bebo back i will kill ur family :D

      7/30/09
    • Adele
      luv Adele

      come visit me you pathetic excuse of a manbeast!

      7/3/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      ooooooooooo you lived in aus for 6months and all of a sudden your better than a normal new zealander haha! im not giving u any love for that one. immm tired :( yay only a couple of days untill payday!

      6/21/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      did it have swearing etc? its just bebo trying to tell u that im too cool for you!

      6/21/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      hey ugly. wheres all my bebo replies huh huh huh? what you doing tonight?

      6/21/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      did you and ben share a bed....a little bit of male bonding. oh i suppose you would have preffered to be with religon and shave his back lol

      6/3/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      hey loooooooser, I got a fringe and it actually sits on my face this time and doesnt stick straight out into the air like the last one. anyways i hope you have a major hangover!!!!

      6/2/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      ur back tomorrow! how long are you going to spend in np?

      6/1/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      nope a 94 toyota corolla and guess what? ITS A MANUEL, if your face! you have to drive your homosexual automatic fat samoan car hahaha!!! I definatly wont miss that car!

      The downside is that dad wants me to get my full licence before i can have the car because of the fact that i only have my auto restricted so its gonna be awhile before i get the car coz im going to fail the full test a million times.

      send me my usb!!! 1/31 Reeve Road, Owhata, Rotorua. look up the post code urself, im too lazy.

      5/28/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      I GOT A CAR!

      5/27/09
    • Adele
      Adele

      THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR DRIVING!? your crazy haha of course theres something wrong with your driving and thats your brain lol. Love is for people i love....take a hint chris piss.

      5/26/09
    • Ben Rosser
      Ben Rosser

      Yea I got ur message and told religion he then said " wats the hardest thing about being from urenui and in australia?" u cant come home... i cracked up like wtf freeeaaaak!

      5/26/09