Jamie 'The Sword'Dowie
- My mind is a fucked apart dead thing unless I'm having fun.
- Me, Myself, and I
- I'm so composed I'm Beethoven's 5th! I'm so fair gypsies run me! I'm so brilliant I'm white paint! I'm so grand I'm a big piano! I'm so nice I'm a coastal city on the French Riviera! I'm so ill doctors cure me! I'm so wicked Dorothy melted me! I'm so fly a spider ate me! I'm so dope stoners smoke me! I'm so copacetic, you had to look me up in a dictionary! I'm so insane I'm in the membrane! I'm so chill your granma caught me! I'm so great they named a war after me! I'm so sweet Slugworth stole me! I'm so hip your grandad broke me! I'm so vain I think that song is about me! I'm so choice liberals are for me! I'm so perfect I've been a tense! I'm so fine speeders pay me!
- The Other Half Of Me
He licks the lid of life. Lid=cocks. Life=men.
- Hi I'm Jamie, and I am real cool and i'm a good fighter. I once fought 4 guys and nearly won but then they got a stick and they beat me at fighting and I was hurt. I am 13 years old and I like B-Daman and Power Rangers and Yu Gi Oh and Power Puff Girls especially bubbles because she is the nicest and I want to kiss her on the lips. I go to Black Wall Street High School and It is ghei and the teachers are ghei and i hate homework and maths. I just finished my 4 times table and now we're doing quantum mechanics and researching Camber's quantum string theory. I want to meet Ed Edd and Eddy from cartoon network cos they roxxors and own every other cartoon and one day i want to be a foot soldier or a pro wrestling referee. I have two legs two arms and one head. If i could be any superhero I'd be Duckman and have the ability to quack like a duck and scare baddies. My favourite film is Bambi because I like hunting and I love it when the mummy deer gets shot.
- Favourite Films...
- Fight club, Battle Royale & BR:Requiem, Se7en, Spun, Donnie Darko, My Own Private Idaho, Requiem for a Dream, Spirited Away, The Terminator and T2, Stand By Me, Alice In Wonderland, Total Recall, Predator, Kramer vs. Kramer, Casablanca, Kickboxer, Ghostbusters I&II, Thelma & Louise, Annie Hall, Manhatten, Do The Right Thing, Wristcutters - A Love Story, Adaptation, Almost Famous, In Bruges, Logan's Run, Citizen Kane, Darjeeling Limited, Being John Malkivich, Trainspotting, The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, American History X, Serenity, True Lies, Gladiator, Kingdom of Heaven, The Matrix, Goldeneye, Rushmore, Groundhog Day, Snatch, Scream, The Wizard of Oz, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Schindler's List, Taxi Driver, Mad Max Trilogy, Original Star Wars Trilogy, Jaws, Monty Python and the The Holy Grail, Enter the Dragon, The Pink Panther films, The Birds, Pinoccio, Gone With the Wind, Seven Years in Tibet, Children of Men, Blow, Pan's Labyrinth, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
- Favourite Music...
- In no particular order: Greenday, The Beach Boys, Jimi Hendrix, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Beatles (esp. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band), Dr. Dre, Daft Punk, Dj BC, Solcofn, Robots in Disguise, System of a down, Slipknot, Pixies, Meatloaf, M.I.A., Queens of the Stone Age, Lady Sovereign, Eminem (esp. Marshall Mathers and Slim Shady LPs), Prodigy, Prince, NWA, The Game, Big Boi of Outkast, MGMT, Duran Duran and a shitload more.
- Rachel Carlin
- Scott Macdonald
- Amy Stubbings
- Vicky Cunningham
- Bryan H
- Richard O'Neill
- Ally Agnew
- Lesley Auld
- Jacklyn Smith
- Laura McWhirter
- Alan Smith
- Emma D
- Lisa Molus
- Jenna Docherty
- Kimberley Wharton
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Dear Miss Scowly Girl sitting left of me in the exam,
What’s that look for? Yes I walked in 30 seconds before the exam starts, so what? If you think I’m going to be feverishly scribbling till the bitter end of the exam you’re sadly mistaken; I’m out of here asap, so what’s the point of turning up 15 minutes early like you? To get ‘settled’? I’ll just ‘settle’ watching you start writing like a madwoman.
What now? Opening my Coke is annoying you? Jeez, I like Coke, I’m not going to sit and drink water like some pussy, It only fizzes the first few times I open it chill the fuck out.
Right I’m not even doing anything now I’m just staring around the room, what’s the stink-eye for? My staring around the room is offputting, right. Listen we have 2 hours in here to write 4 essays, if you think I’m not going to take a break every couple of minutes you’re not on. It’s first year English Language; they give you a pass for getting your name right on the front page. Frankly you’re putting in way too much effort, if me staring about the room is putting you off it’s probably for the best.
Okay what's the scowl for this time? You think I’m cheating off of you? You’ve written fourteen fucking pages, do you really think I’m going to glance over randomly at one of them, decipher you’re teensy writing and go: “Shit so that’s how Gricean Maxims work, cheers love” scribble-scribble-scribble-scribble…Pass…A++. If you must know I was glancing at your tits, now chill the fuck out.
1 Comment 260 weeks
Dear annoying fuck diagonally right of me in the exam hall,
Due to our 'No leaving the exam in the last half hour' rule fucking me over I'm left staring around the room, staring at your annoying back. You have seven pens. Seven. Why? Do exam nerves cause you to crush pens between your mighty fingers? Rule of thumb: If six pens run out of ink you're having a bad day, you're probably going fail, just give up. And why in the name of fuck do you have flip-flops on? It's a rainy mid-May morning. I know your Pokemon calendar is flipped forward to July bacause July is Pikachu, and Pikachu's the best, Pikachu I choose you, but that does not mean it is July. It's May, we live in Scotland, it's raining: put on a pair of socks and shoes. And I know the nerves make your mouth go dry but do you really need a litre bottle of water? We're only in here for 2 hours, you're not in a nuclear bunker. It's just coming straight back out as sweat anyway turning your Iron Maiden teeshirt from shitty washed-in grey to slightly darker shitty washed-in grey. I have to thank you though for reinforcing my choice not to do Politics next year, so thanks for that.
1 Comment 260 weeks
1. Full Name: Jamie Dowie
2. Nicknames: Sword aka THE Sword
3. Birthday: 22/09/87
4. Place of Birth: Isleworth
5. Zodiac Sign: Virgo
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Grade: A
8. School: Townhill Primary and Earnock High
9. Occupation: Bounty Hunter
10. Residence: My House.
11. MSN Screen Name: Jamie the Sword
12. Hair Color: Dark blond.
13. Hair Length: perfect.
14. Eye color: Blue with yellow bits
15. Weight: About 10 rock
16. Height: Just shy of 6'2"
17. Braces?: I've never worn braces.
18. Glasses?: nah I can see ne good
19. Piercings: None.
20. Tattoos: None.
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty.
22. First best friend: Hunts
23. First Award: Some certificate for reading or summing.
24. First Sport: Tig.
25. First pet: Dragon. A lizard.
26. First Real Vacation: Menorca. When I was five. Pulled a 7 year old and a 9 year old. Good times.
27. First Concert: Paradox.
28. First Love: Never been there. Sounds shite.
29. Movie: Well the first rule is I can't talk about it. And the second rule is......
30. TV programme: Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place
31. Color: Mellow Yellow.
32. Rapper: The Game or Ol' Dirty Bastard
33. Band: Green Day.
34. Song Right Now: Ol' Dirty -- Brooklyn Zoo
35. Friends: Pastor Mase, Scotty2Hotty, WylieCoyote, Cooneylingus and Dave.......just Dave
36. Sweet: Those soft Opal fruit type things, can't remember the name...something fruits?
37. Sport to Play: Kick the gayboy.
38. Restuarant: I truly have no idea or I don't care. One of the two.
39. Favorite brand: *Sword*Wear*. It's a brand I'm going to set up once I'm a big star.
40. Store: Open.
41. School Subject: Philosophy
42. Animal: Tiger maybe. Or polar bear.
43. Book: Northern Lights.
44. Magazine: Edge
45. Shoes: My Evisus with the tacks in them.
46. Feeling: Fantastic.
47. Single or Taken?: Single. You're in luck ladies
48. Have a crush: No.
49. Eating: Nothing.
50. Drinking: My own saliva.
51. Typing: Like a gangstar.
52. Online?: Fucking obviously you complete peg.
53. Listening To: Ol' Dirt Mcgirt -- Ni*ga Please.
54. Thinking About: What to write for the answer to what I'm currently typing. Trippy.
55. Wanting To: Get my Exams over with. And Fuck a supermodel. At the same time how cool would that be.
56. Watching: The keyboard because I'm not that great at typing.
57. Wearing: White socks, white thatched Gravis treads, Diesel jeans, a Kickers teeshirt I don't even like, blue Primark boxers.
58. Want Kids?: Two boys and a girl.
59. Want to be Married?: Maybe. Don't know if I'm a one woman guy.
60. Careers in Mind: Superhero
61. Where do you want to live: The East.
62. Car: Lamborghini Spyder, Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster or Enzo Ferrari. So probably a Volkswagen Golf or something.
__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___
63. Hair color: Brown or yella.
64. Hair length: At least down to your shoulders.
65. Eye color: Blue or green or light brown.
66. Measurments: Plickety plick, plickety plick.
67. Cute or Sexy: Sexy.
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes.
69. Hugs or Kisses: Did you ever see Tupac giving out hugs. Kisses.
70. Short or Tall: Tall. Like the Statue of Liberty. I wonder if she has a name. I'm going to name her Wendy.
71. Easygoing or serious: Serious and stern.
72. Romantic or spontaneous? Neither?
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensetive.
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship.
76. Sweet or Caring: Sweet.
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Trouble maker.
___Have you ever______
78. Kissed a Stranger: Yeah.
79. Had Alcohol: Lots.
80. Smoked: Never smoked tobacco.
81. Ran Away From Home: No, I'm cool.
82. Broken a bone: No.
83. Got an X-ray: Yes.
84. Taken drugs: Only Cannabis. Which is only a drug in the strictest sense.
85. Broken Someones Heart: Probably. I'm a hot piece of ass.
86. Broke Up With Someone: I've never done the breaking up bit. Too messy.
87. Cried Wh
0 Comments 331 weeks
- 1) His name was J D. (16)
- 2) New album with real pictures. (46)
- 3) Fala '93 (30)
- 4) Phone pics (29)
- 5) Had 2 make a new album, the last one ran out of (45)
- 6) Emotion 105 (11)
- 7) Amateur Emotion (4)
- 8) Even newer album cos I want one (43)
- 9) Photos are like dreams (45)
- 9.1) Stuff happened. Swear. Look, I'll show you: (41)
- 9.2) Things which happened whilst I was near. (12)