Is Ireland part of the UK
Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
When your heart stops beating can you still be alive?
Can you still be a virgin once you’ve had sex?
Do carrots really make you see in the dark?
I need to stop drinking, its killing my kidneys!
Are you still a teenager when your nineteen?
Do chickens have balls?
Ice is just frozen water right?
Methils in leven eh?
Albinos have black parents
Reversing into a lamppost TWICE!
(Driving home from methil) Where are we, near glenrothes yet? Pauline we’re at asda in Kirkcaldy!! Shit, took the wrong turn! (No directional skills atall)
I hate my nose cause its spread across my face!
What’s the difference between normal pool and America pool? They have different coloured balls

1. Vodka is always stiff

2. Vodka doesn't look smaller when its cold

3. Vodka lasts aslong as your want it too

4. Vodka doesn't prod you in the back in the moring demanding attention

5. You dont care how far down your throat vodka goes

6. You can have as many vodkas as you want in one night without being called a slut

7. You can enjoy a vodka infront of your mum

8. Vodka is always pleasurable!!!!

1. They have absolutely no idea where their purse is.. and for some reason, that's ok.

2. They believe that dancing with their arms overhead and wiggling their butts while yelling "WOO-HOO" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. They've suddenly decided that they want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe they could do it too.

4. In their last trip to pee, they realize that they now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess they started out as just 4 hours ago.

5. They drop their 3am submarine sandwich/pizza slice/poutine on the floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its nobody's business.

6.They start crying and declare to everyone they see, including people they barely know, that they love them SOOOO MUCH.

7. They get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song comes on because "OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. Thier suddenly full of profound spiritual wisdom... and so is the geek next to them.

9. They don't see anything wrong with making out with profs/co-workers/boss should they be around

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, get up on the table or bar and start to sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming to them.

11. Their eyes just won't seem to stay open by themselves, so they keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.

12. They've suddenly taken up smoking and believe their really good at it

13. They yell at the bartender who they believe has cheated them by giving them just orange juice, but that's just because they can no longer taste the vodka.

14. They think they are in bed, but their pillow feels strangely like the floor.. or like the mop.

15. They start every conversation with a slurred "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

16. They fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before they sit on it.

17. Their hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. They are tired, but are troopers so instead of going home, they just sit on the floor wherever their standing and take a quick nap.

19. They begin leaving the buttons open on their button fly jeans to cut down on the time their in the bathroom away from their drink.

20. They take their shoes off because a) they're ridiculously impractical.. but soo beautiful! b) they believe it's the shoes' fault that they can't walk straight.

21. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter who said what or who went home with whoever else - they
ALWAYS call each other the next day.