EMMA : Dixon is a ledge. Well nice guy. His 18th was the first party i went to with the Virgin/Tramps crew and it was legendary. I remeber one time we both went down the hoe and got totally wasted. He went back in2 town b4 me and i called him and arranged 2 meet up with him at the anchor, got 2 the anchor and found him lying against it, unable to get up. He is a cool and geinuenly a nice guy. Gives good hugs.

CHARLIE : Dixon is sort of indescribable.He's such an amazing friend.He is always there for me and is alway fun to be around.I love going drinking with Dixon.Last summer was wicked because of him.Dixon's a damn good friend and I love him. x)

BECCI : "always there for a cuddle- a faithful and very ginger mate. love you dixie! *spankage* :beccibee

SOPHY-J : I Like Dixon because he's like an older brother to me and he's always there when I need him xx

LOU : Dixon is always there for people and is great at giving awesome advice. He's always a good laugh especially with dares ! xx

ALAN : Dixon is a cool bean, he is a funny chappy and a complete legend! He is the kind fellow who stands up for what he believes in! We all love Dixon specially me rock on Dixon x

LEANNE : Dixon is one of the most lovelyest guys you will ever meet. He's a great mate who will do anything for you if he could. People take advantage of him because of that (especially bitch-face hey Dixon)! Loves you the way you are Dixon don't ever change! Leanne aka lil gal tinkz xxx

KAT J : Dixon is a really great person to talk to, love our really long chats!!! Really caring and always up for a laugh, don't know what I'd do without him sometimes!! Loves ya xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PATCH : He's my booze buying, potsmoking, fag giving, chubby, ginger friend whos a fucking legend, you touch this guy I'll kick you in.

JOHN: I met Dixon whilst waiting for the bus after school and we started talking. I kid you not he is one of the most awesome guys I've ever met. He introduced me to the Plymouth Alternative Crew. I met some crazy people but also met cool people and heard some wicked stories all round Dixon. You are the most incredibly well connected, well meaning and oh hell I'll say it, cudly person, I ever had the honour to meet. May you live for eternity.

BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH

OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

BRAVE IS

GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE CUNTS AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES

ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET

ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE

ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS

This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.

POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave… without the princess.

VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads its guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the “HEAVY METAL” protagonist.

GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

GRINDCORE:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves.

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing a greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards the dragon and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

EMOCORE:
The protagonists’ mother drives the protagonist and his friends to the castle. He kills the dragon with some awesome armspinning and spinkicking while his friends observing the scene with their arms crossed; then the princess laughes at the protagonists ridiculous hairstyle and the boys leave weeping.

PUNK:
The protagonist hitchhikes to the castle, asks the dragon for some bucks, buys some cans of beer, gets pissed, insults the princess as “monarchist c**t” and “commerce bitch” and leaves the castle in a black maria.

PORNO GRIND:
The Protagonist arrives at the castle without any clothes on and grunts loudly for a few minutes. Then he fucks the dragon in every body cavity it has, kills the dragon, fucks the carcass the same way again, grunts loudly again for a few minutes, grabs the princess and fucks her in every body cavity she has, kills her and fucks her in the same way again. Then he piles up the dragon’s and princess’s remains, fucks them in every body cavity they have, grunts loudly and screams senselessly for a few minutes. Then he leaves.

POP ROCK:
The protag