Jedis and Monkeys

I’m from the Philippines
I am Asian
But some people mistake me
For a monkey

I mean that’s okay
Because Asians are basically monkeys
I mean monkeys are hairy
Asians are hairy

Not as hairy as some Asians
Because some Asians aren’t hairy
In fact they are quite smooth
Because they are bad at driving

It’s quite true
Asians are bad at driving
Like one time I was walking down a road
And an Asian nearly hit me

It’s okay
I’m used to Asians nearly hitting me
Because some Asians hate me
Cause I’m not a typical Asian

Because some Asians are good at math
Some play the violin
I’m a failure of an Asian
Because I don’t play the violin

I’m still Asian
I have black hair
Not slit eyes though
Cause I’m not Korean

I’m a Filipino
I’m yellow skinned
Not White
Except for my bum

One time I went streaking
And my bum was quite white
Because I wear stubies
So my bum looked like a white stripe
Compared to the rest of my body

I’m Filipino
I’m just like a yellow monkey
Coloured like a lemon
Like an ape
With a white white bum, bum bum, bum, bum bum

I’m born in the Philippines
Made in Asia
Made by two Asians
In Asia

I left my home town
Then came to New Zealand
Because it was too crowded
Cause there are 4 billion Asians in the world

They all look alike
They have cameras
I have a camera
My parents gave it to me

It’s probably made by an Asian
Because Asians make everything
What Asians like to make best though
Is to make love

Asian love
I don’t like Asian girls
Some aren’t very attractive
Because some look like monkeys

That’s probably alright though
Because Asians all look like monkeys
But I prefer white girls
Because they don’t look like monkeys

I’m probably gonna get beat up by Asians
But that’s okay
Because I’ll go Asian on them
I still have Asian pride though

I’m proud of being Asian
I’m proud to look like a monkey
Because Asians are cool
And we’ll take over the world soon

I’m Filipino
I’m just like a yellow monkey
Coloured like a lemon
Like an ape
With a white white bum, bum bum, bum, bum bum

early last week me and my mates got threatened by some 10 year olds in the skate park just because they thought we threw a stick at them, we didn't throw a stick at them, we threw a fucken javelin, get it right!. now this is a message to all kids in the skate park. YOU ARE ALL FUCKING 10! do you actually think u can actually hurt us?? i mean the only reason why u weren't on the ground was because we actually didn't want to hit people half our size, well half josiahs size anyway, nearly my size because i'm a short asian but it's bad enough that your smoking at the age of ten but has the cancer in ur lungs got a point where ur being dellusional? sure u must be very tough and like to beat up kids at ur age, but when u try to hurt us like 5 17 u actually can't. sure there must be a whole pack of you but seeing as josiah does 20ks on each arm i'm pretty sure he can throw you because your all fucken 10. and i mean get it right, we threw a fucken javelin at you not a stick!!! can't u tell the difference!!! now instead of actually bothering us, why don't u go back into ur little huddle and continue to argue who will have the next puff of the smokes u proudly stole from your divorced mother that i call a prostitute. i'm not being nice now, i know. thats because some fag called me chingy going konichiwa at me. konichiwa is japanese u freaks, and the japanese torturted my great granparents and grandparents in WW2. so if anyone else makes any refecrence about being japanese. i will go asian on u and prod u and ur mother that i hired last evening with a javelin. thank you

hey there!
now i dont know why this is but alot of young girls have been adding me on msn and yes u must b very nice but i dont want to flirt with anyone whilst i am going out with my girl and even more i dont want to b flirted up by some girls who still havent hit puberty yet! i guess 14 isn't sooo bad but anythin below is kidna getting a bit creepy. I dont mind just to talk and be friends but if anyone young just starts flirting me up it just gets very freaky. I dont want to sound like a dick and shallow and up myself but for the past month alot of people like 3 years younger than me have been adding me. now i know i have this sort of manly presence because of my old age but for people that young tend to look at me as a father figure. someone you look up to, not someone you try to chat up (unless you chat up your own dad which on that case i dont want anything to do with you). now this just doesnt go to the 13 year olds but also to the older people or people around about my age or older that seems to like flirting up people that age. It is wrong. and get ur shit together. be a father to them! but not the type of father that puts the move on their daugters thanks.