I don't know what to say really. 3 minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives... all comes down to today. Now either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play 'till we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen... believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us... or... we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outa hell. One inch at a time. Now I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I look around and I see these young faces and I think, I mean I made every wrong choice a middle aged man could make. I ah... pissed away all my money, believe it or not! I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you. I mean thats, thats part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out lifes this game of inches... and so if football. Because in either game... life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean one half a step too late or too early, and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. 'Cuz we know when we add up all those inches... that's gonna make the FUCKIN' difference between winnning and losing, between living and dying!

I'll tell you this. In any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know if I'm gonna have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because that's what livin' is! The six inches in front of your face! Now I can't make you do it... you gotta look at the guy next to you... look into his eyes. Now I think you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrafice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it you're gonna do the same for him. That's a team gentlemen! And either we heal, NOW, as a team... or we will die as individuals. That's football guys... that's all it is...

I'm as sick as a small hospital.

I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child.

She had a face on her like a well slapped a*se.

Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit.

My mouth's as dry as a nuns cr@ck.

He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup.

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician.

As funny as a burning orphanage.

He's so camp, he shites tent pegs.

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes.

I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover).

(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress.

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn.

As busy as the dalkey dole office.

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit.

As tight as a nun's knickers.

I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn.

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
the
van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

Up and down like a hoor's knickers.

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house.

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt.

I left her with a face like a painters radio.

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard.

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche.

As fit as a butcher's dog.

She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Not even the tide would take her out.

Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her.

Daz wouldn't shift her.

Des Kelly wouldn't lay her.

A sniper wouldn't take her out.

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle.

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one.

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a
nettle.

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede.

She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab.

If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall.

Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of
her
f@nny.