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I’m the moon, I quite like to, I’m lonely the moon, but not lonely so much but a loner. A one who likes to do his own things. I do quite like a bit of company but I think for the moon it’s good to have your own space, in space. I’ve got my own space, in space

Easy now, fuzzy little man peach.

We're in deep diarrhoea

He's dead. It was a terrible thing, he tripped over some cobwebs.

You wanna know about my thumb do ya boy? Intrigue ya does it boy? My Thumb? Let me tell ya 'bout it. I come from a long line of hitchhikers, all with bleedin' masive thumbs. You see the thumb its a tremendous boom to the hitchhiker, helps with work. Ya know what I mean? Only problem was, when I was a child, my thumb was tiny. Not just tiny like a single sugar puff, Disgusting! Even my own mother would reel back in horror, like an anaconda, 'Aagh! What is it!? Get it out of here! It's tiny! It's horrible, it's revolting! Take your tiny thumb and get out of here and never darken my door again!' she'd say. I had to leave the family unit, in search of a miracle. I wandered the streets, looking for the answer. And people told me of a magic shaman: part man, part hornet. So I went looking for him. I went everywhere. I combed the universe in search of the stripy insect shaman. Turns out he was in a local primary school, in the bin, reeling about with the apple cores. Like they do. And I stood there, with my thumb out, and he stung it, and he stung it. He grabbed onto it, it was like he was making love to it with his sting. In and out, in and out, more and more! Oh the pus, the pain, the black voodoo, the wet jigsaw puzzle! I didn't know what was happening. Oh for days I was in a trance. But when I came to, there it was. Like a fleshy maraca! A thumb of gigantic proportion! 'A miracle!' I said, 'A miracle, you're a true wizard! How can I ever repay ya?' And he said to me, 'Five hundred euros.' 'Five hundred euros!? You won't see penny one from me you slag!' And as I raised my thumb up, to smash his tiny skull in I could see in his little insect face, could see him thinkin', 'Oh, I created that monster! I created that thumb! And now it's killing me! My own beastly creation, killin' me dead. The sweet irony.' I think he was sayin' that, although it was a long time ago. And in hindsight, he coulda just been shittin' himself.

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FIRSTS:

FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND: zoe burnette, cabbage patch kids!

FIRST SCHOOL: Langlands =]

FIRST CELL PHONE: A black thing made by Phillips. it had a pull out ariel and everything.

FIRST FUNERAL: not been to one.

FIRST PET: Hambo the hamster, it bit the top of my index finger off.

FIRST BIG TRIP: Teneriffe as a baby.

FIRST FIGHT: Primary 4. Jade skipped the lunch queue infront of me, i may have over-reacted.

FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH: James from Busted =]

FIRST TIME OUT OF THE COUNTRY?: Teneriffe

FIRST JOB: Collecting the milk money on a friday night.

FIRST BEBO FRIEND: Amy B maybe?

EVERYONE HAS THEIR LASTS

LAST PERSON I HUGGED: Jane Ward. It gave me a boner.

LAST CAR RIDE: Lisas boyfriend on the cinema trip.

LAST TIME I CRIED?: I cry all the time, curse you scrubs!

LAST MOVIE I WATCHED: Bridget Jones. =]

LAST FOOD I ATE: Garlic Bread

LAST ITEM BOUGHT: A roll from tesco, or a pretty turquoise dress.

LAST SHIRT WORN: School shirt

LAST PHONE CALL: Darren

LAST TEXT MESSAGE: Beth Bruce

LAST THING I TOUCHED: The Keyboard, or my phone whilst i checked who texted.

LAST FUNERAL: Not been to one

LAST TIME AT THE MALL: 2 days ago

LAST TIME I WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING: China! New Year! Christmas time!

LAST PERSON I SAW: My mummy.

LAST THING I DRANK: Council juice

LAST PERSON THAT BROKE MY HEART: Amy Fitzpatrick. HOW COULD YOU!!

LAST TIME I WERE REALLY HONESTLY HAPPY?: almost a year ago. But I'm still pretty happy.