Nibbles, chew through my ballsack!

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

No. If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever we dont’ have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?

She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really… except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Huh, you don't have your initial on your sweater Harry, mom must think you can remember your name' 'but we're not stupid, we know we're call Gred and Forge!'

[Harry]
[Writing a chart of his birth] I've got two Neptunes here. That can't be right...?
[Ron] Aahhh! *Imitating Professor Trelawney* When two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sign that a midget in glasses is being born!

You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest, wiiiiith......a herring!

You know how I know you're gay? You have a bumper sticker on your car that says 'I love it when balls are in my face'.

Shampoo is better I go on first and clean the hair conditioner is better I leave the hair silky and smooth oh really fool really

I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.

Freakin idiots

Do The Chickens Have Large Talons ?

Bite my shiny metal ass

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

Oh, no! Oh, wow! Oh, heavy heavy heavy!!

For one man to love another, Vyvyan, is not poofy. It's actually very beautiful. It's only when they start touching each others bottoms that it gets poofy.

They already have three kids, they're just like... greedy little bitches.

Vegetable rights and peace.

Shut up Neil you ugly poo-faced git!

Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!

I'm a mouse.. duh

She doesn't even go here!

Nice Wig Janice What's It Made Of? YOUR MOMS CHEST HAIR!

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.

Weeeeeeeeee! I've gone proper mad!

This is worse than the time I forgot how to sit down

Oh...My....God

We're Not Goths. Were Emos.

I Did Really Well In My Last Oral, Although I Did Find It A Bit Of A Mouthful At First, But Miss Says If I Practice As Often As I Can, I Could Become Head Girl!

I liked the part where you shoved the drill in the virgin otter's face.

Do ants go to discos?

Now, wait a minute, Rick. I'm the one who gets the girls around here. There could be a copyright problem.

I've just seen the most amazing thing in the garden. Neil just biffed himself over the head with a frying pan.

Don't eat all the Corn flakes, Rick. There's only one each.

Prick... is a wonker.

I myself have three pairs of socks, and three pairs of knickers. That means I've only worn them... 269 times each since the last wash.

Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes.

'Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil.'

'Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil.'

That's just typical! Five minutes before the most important party of my life and the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich.

Yes, we've got a video!

Oh cock-a-doodle-do Neil...What are you talking about?

Neil, Neil, orange peel.

You kissed a girl! You're so GAY!!!!

[Hutz] Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder
[Marge] Is that bad?
[Hutz] Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'.

I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children...

So then I said to the cop, 'No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk.'

Look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic.

Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so...the following people are gay...

Oh No! This is how faceless Joe lost his legs !

Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Duffman thrusting in the direction of the problem!

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

There is no emoticon for what I am feeling!

What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

Not only am I not learning, I'm forgetting stuff I used to know.

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed... Wow, a blue car!!

Tonight I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99!

Tonight I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99!

A they would say, then B, C would usually follow....

GO BANANA!

All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.

The doctors have confirmed the worst... someone's copying me.

If you want I will take you out for a meal with Mr and Mrs pain, order up some violent quiche...

SLAG!

MR SUSAN: You will be trapped here forever with nothing but your own reflection for company! *evil laugh*. VINCE: Yeah okay sounds good.

I'd like to apologize for these terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs. I'd like to show contrition to the max, Andrew Sachs. I'd like to create world peace, between the yellow, whites and blacks Andrew Sachs, Andrew Sachs. I said some things I didn't of oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter.

Of gerbils..........'How can I stay mad at you, you insestuas, cannibalistic perverted little Slaaaaaags!!'

Oh the weather outside is weather

Sarah Marshall: I hate your music. Aldous Snow: Yeah well, I fucked the house keeper the other day.

You sound like you're from Laandaaaaan!!!!!!

Calm a lama down!

Calm a lama down!

I've lost a shoe... have you seen it anywhere? Excuse me, missus, I've lost a shoe... like this one. It's like this one's fellow... it's sort of the exact opposite in fact of that - not an evil version but just, you know, a shoe like this... but for the other foot. Otherwise I'd have two right feet !

How you served five years under her, I don't know. You deserve a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody.

OH FUCK MY ARSE

[after spilling red wine on his shirt] Oh God, please take my eyes, but not the shirt!

You shall not pass!

I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life.

God put our mouths on our head for a reason. No!

I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me.

I had a girlfriend, right? And Liam and Noel Gallagher both had it off with her, right in front of me, so that's similar. And that was a bit awkward, actually, so if you do wanna change hotels, I quite understand.