3rd stage of the game called "life"

1st was entering primary school

2nd lvl was entering high school

3rd (now) entering university.

Im happy with my results, its what i wanted, and i got it.. so i gotta be nothing but thankful.

Nothings happened much, the usual after uni friends dissapearing. Like yeh, some guys/girls are still trying to see eachother in these holidays, but you can't deny the fact that we are just breaking away from each other. Its like our group in a game, sometimes a player joins another guild.

Eli left to melb, take care; hope to catch up soon and best of luck to whatever you do in the future. And just like that a friends gone. srsly just like that *clicks fingers*, makes you think ey?? all the times you have with your friends dissapear, but then offcourse the memories stay.

The thing about life is. You ALWAYS start back at 1.

Your born ure dependant on a care giver, ure spoon fed, and require a set of hands to change your underwear. You grow.

You're wearing your primary school bag, heavy and freaking box shaped, back at level 1. You finish 7 years of primary school. You grow and become someone different Your back at level 1.

You enter highschool, hair gel'd short and a bittt chubby. You look up and see a freking tall white dude with a hot blonde GF. You see random small eyed skinny short asians with baggy pants playing bball, you wished you were them. You complete 6 years of randomoscity, going through bad,good, sexual, srs, casual experiences. You Grow into someone different. Back at level 1.

You enter Uni, tafe wherever highschool put u to. You face the boss called The World and independance. You wtf at everything.

I can only say up to their, cause i havent unlocked the rest of the levels, only on lvl 3. But if you do make it to the final levels of this game, Age 70-90 etc , you realise its exactly the same as being level 1 when you were first born.

Your back to being spoon fed, a person that needs a caregiver, a person taht needs to help you shit, brush your teeth, eat your food. In the end, Your you again. If your lucky you might rmember the events youve experienced in the life you've had; and thats pretty much all thats differ'ing the you at 80 years old and the you when you were 1.

What im doing in uni, i dont know anyone else doing (Media in MQ) so i guess i will have new friends, same goes to others. In a way i feel freaking good that i can converse with more people. But in a way leaving highschool and friends is like leaving a part of me behind, i guess leaving a part of you behind somewhere is a step to changing and becoming a "newer" person, finding out things you didnt know.

My friends went on schoolies 2 weeks or lsat week ago. I found it interesting how every single one. EVERY single person came home happy. Im lucky to have such a versatile and acceptng bunch of friends, and seeing them so happy and becoming much closer and understanding eachother more in a span of 5 days shows something. Who needs Gold Coast when Port Stephens and a great group of people are there? Its only in my deepest regret that i didnt go.

I dunno if people will read up to here, i guess i dont care; i feel like writing blogs help release stuff thats in my mind, and i srsly feel a lot more happier and grateful after writing this srs essay on life. But srsly people in my graed, look back at the times we had. Yr 11 camp, when i imagine yr 11 camp, i always think of it being clear blue skies green trees and colourful shirts, its a representation of how much happiness the grades given me, all i can remember about it was happiness, its really *duno word* that i can never enjoy that again with the same group of people that i love and "dont love".

And to be honest, i would re do the HSC on nightmare mode, to relive yr 10-12 again, even with assessments. Its worth it.

Around 20 more days and every ones life changes

Am i ready? No. The reason why is because

I don't know what I'm ready for.

Life has been a routine ... Wake up go to school come home eat yogurt. Now what? Wake up -> ??? -> eat yogurt. I need the thing in the middle or the eating of yogurt won't feel right. The routines disturbed, and with that I will eventually lose the friends I've made in school, and the faggots I know.

It's sad to see my friends leave & its even more sad to see the faggots leave, due to the simple reason of not having the chance to laugh at them anymore =(

It still hasn't sunken in yet. That my life, our lives have changed forever. But then this is what makes life interesting. The change is very important in understanding who we are. Through this sudden change of environment, we are also one step to understanding ourselves. I for one, don't know who I am. I still have an identity crisis, and i'm sure you do too.

It was recently the last week of high school & if you can be bothered. I will recount it through my eyes.

Its been a week of best. Haha week of best. But i'm serious, its been such a good week, hanging out with my closest friends, hanging out with friends, talking, laughing, celebrating. Its a week that should be celebrated, and most of all be remembered.

The thing that annoys me is that through the celebration there is the HSC. Something thats ALWAYS been in the back of my mind for the passed 6 years. Its so dreadful that its finnaly coming, but its so exciting to finally get it done, because after i finish my last test (ext eng) the shit in the back of my mind ... finally disappears. Its gone, and it wont come back. No matter the result I get. Like some of my high school friends

Its gone.

What EVERYONE is waiting for is the formal. The perfect climax for a perfect year 12.

I don't think ill be going home that night ( :

In my last post, I stated that people are all cold hearted and etcetc , maybe it was a bit extreme. But i can tell you... when it comes down to relationships, im a

IDIOT.

First thing I want to do is, confess and say that the passed ``relationship``i had wasnt very good and the reason why was because of me. I first want to say im sorry for wteva sadness i caused the person.. and i want to say i really couldnt help it. I will name this person Ms M.

Ms M; very nice and generous person, maybe one of the nicest ive ever met. The passed few days, ive been thinking about how slack ive been to Ms M. She gave me gifts... she did everything any guy could want. But I did absolutly nothing. Hate me, i dont really care; But i just want to say that im admitting to be a dick head. The relationship i had before that with the ``Ms K`` i mentioned before in the post, was because i was sick of arguing.. however this time with Ms M.. it was because of me. All the gifts she gave me, all the SMS`s she sent me, i merely responded with a smile at most.

Im sorry, and I`m so ashamed i cant even talk to you about it. Im not asking for forgiveness, im just confessing to how stupid, and shameful i treated you. If i could id reverse time, and treat you totally different. Im s o r r y.

You meant more to me, that how i potrayed. Im stupid, im silly, im sorry



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Im gonna talk about relationships ... since its the most complex thing in highschool.. stuff 4 u maths, stuff 25 u english. Different people enter relationships for different reasons.. some (without mentioning names) enter it for ``lulz`` or just for fun.. Some enter one, because they want to be known as a couple.. and some enter relationships for a deeper meaning. However, if you want to find your true love... is highschool the right thing for you? Can you be CERTAIN that out of the billions of people in the world and without living 1/5th of ure life.. that you are already with your true love in high school? If i ask that question.. could people give me an answer? thats why i wont ask..

Different relationships. Cmon dont tell me u eblock people dont see it. MamaBear and PapaBear.. theyre in my eyes a ``good`` relationship.. no sarcasm . nothing. I can probably see them getting married, because theyve been together for so long.. connected for so long, the connection will never go away..the memories you share stay with you.

On the other hand, Infamous Ms K and Mr W. One day they are all (^---^ baby!) one day one of them is Crying and one of them is in the library doing maths. Huh? Like i understand relationships need arguments, so both individuals can improve.. but wtf. This isnt arguing. THIS IS, MADNESS. From one person i hear ``they are taking a break`` from another its ``they are doing good``. But hey.. people are going to say its not my business.

And ill respond..

``Lol, it isnt yours either.. dont tell me u havent thought of KW relationship being weird.. i must go eat my chicken goujons ttyl``.



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I dunno what else to talk about.. im not in the true emo mood atm.... I posed a question of ``What is Love`` on my bebo... someone replied and stated..

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness

I actually agree with that.. the way i see it is this.

Love is the trigger for making someone happy. Love itself has no meaning..(as i said.. if u think theres a meaning tell me in person).. its only a catalyst.. a trigger for happiness. But the happiness isnt just some lame happiness.. eg: You won the maths comp.. yay u are happy.

No. its a trigger for a happiness that cant be defined.. that undefined happiness, is what love is.



People i guess, are in search for that undefined happiness.

GL.