Great song, great video

What vexes me still about the Fritzl case, is his wife Rosemarie. How did he throw her off the scent for twenty-four years? What manner of oily chicanery did he bamboozle her with?

Her: Josef, you’ve been spending a lot of time in the basement.
Him: I told you, I only go down there to think about how much I love you.
Her: Wow, you must love me a lot. It’s just that, I’ve been hearing noises.
Him: That’s mice.
Her: Sounds bigger than mice.
Him: I also have a pet monkey.
Her: You have a monkey in the basement?
Him: Yes.
Her: Can I see it?
Him: Out of the question.
Her: Why?
Him: He has rabies.
Her: Isn’t that dangerous?
Him: I imagine it would be. Which is to say, yes, it is.
Her: Ok, but the noises sound like voices.
Him: The monkey sometimes turns on the radio. And I have a parrot too, I think.
Her: You think you have a parrot?
Him: Ok then, no. Just the first thing. The monkey turns on the radio.
Her: No parrot?
Him: No, just a monkey.
Her: Why did you say you had a parrot then?
Him: I was thinking of the monkey. It came out wrong.
Her: Well, is all the food for the monkey? You take sacks full down.
Him: I eat it.
Her: All of it?
Him: Yes.
Her: But you put on no weight?
Him: I eat it and then throw up later.
Her: So you’re bulimic?
Him: Apparently.
Her: That’s terrible. Why did you never tell me?
Him: It’s literally hard to say.
Her: But what about all the furniture? You’ve brought down tables, chairs…
Him: Furniture? You’re crazy.
Her: I’m sure you have. And a cooker, a fridge, a sink. A whole kitchen really.
Him: Ok psycho, if you say so.
Her: And a toilet, and a shower.
Him: Cuckoo, Cuckoo.
Her: I’m just trying to understand…
Him: Ok, I’ll come clean. I’ve enslaved our daughter and a bunch of kids down there.
Her: Now you’re making fun of me.
Him: Jesus woman, what do you want from me?
Her: The truth.
Him: You want the truth?
Her: Yes, and don’t tell me I can’t handle the truth.
Him: I don’t get the reference. This is 1991, and A Few Good Men won’t be out for another year.
Her: What?
Him: What?
Her: You were about to tell me the truth?
Him: Fine. Truth is…truth is, I’m dying Rosemarie.
Her: Oh my God, are you Ok?
Him: What are you deaf? No I’m not Ok, I’m dying.
Her: Dying of what?
Him: A very rare disease.
Her: What has this got to do with the basement?
Him: You see…the disease, it…it…ah to hell with this. STAY OUT OF THAT BASEMENT WOMAN, OR SO HELP ME, I’LL TEAR YOU A NEW ARSE.

Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy
> missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!!
>
**********************************
 ********

>
> A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
> The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like
> a drink.
>
> He replied in disgust, 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let
> liquor touch my lips!'
>
> Paddy handed his drink back and said: 'Me too, I didn't know we had a
> choice!'
>
>*********************************
 *********

> Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks: 'How many people
> are flying with you?'
>
> Paddy replies: 'I don't know! It's your f***ing plane!!'
>
>*********************************
 *********
>
> Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy,
> 'I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend
> I'm mad!'
>
> He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down and shouts: 'I'M A LIGHTBULB!
> I'M A LIGHTBULB!' Murphy watches in
> amazement!
>
> The Foreman shouts: 'Paddy you're mad, go home' So he leaves the site.
>
> Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
>
> 'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.
>
> 'I can't work in the friggin dark!' says Murphy.
>
**********************************
 ********
>
> Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours
> of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the
> girls are getting on'

**********************************
 **************>
>
> Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses and
> lies on the bed spread-eagled and says 'You
> know what I want don't you?'
>
> 'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
>
>*********************************
 *********
>
>
> Q: What's a Catholic priest and a pint of Guinness got in common?
>
> A: black coat, white collar and you've got to watch your arse if you get
> a dodgy one!
>
>
>*********************************
 *********
>
> Paddy the electrician got sacked from the US prison service for not
> servicing the electric chair. He said in his
> professional opinion it was a death trapp!
>
>
>*********************************
 *********
>
> Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbour's dog is barking
> like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell
> with this!' and storms off.
>
> He comes back upstairs five minutes later and his wife asks, 'What did you
> do?'
>
> Paddy replies, 'I've put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like
> it!'
>
>>********************************
 **********
>
> Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
> 'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didn't even know
> they had mobile phones!'
>
>>********************************
 **********
>
> Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say
> 'Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!'
>
> Paddy says 'What's his name?'
>
> Mick replies 'Miles from London !'