Bebo

Lovebite <Love--bite>

(Durchschnittswertung)

	Review	443 Tage her
	Other then the one typo i spotted, it was really good. Descriptions?... perfect. you even described the house, which i find hard to do, Like the review below, i didnt see the vampire thing coming, but good stories are supposed to be unpredictable *thumbs up* ^_^
	geschrieben von Ice Phoenix
	NicTei Reviews: Review Requested	470 Tage her
	Well, I didn't see the whole 'vampire' part coming. I was starting to get a little curious when the house had transformed and a figure walked through a wall, but I was guessing 'haunted house,' not 'vampire fiesta.' Anyways, I only saw a couple of problems. One was that you used the number '9' instead of the word 'nine.' Low numbers are supposed to be written. Also, a sentence states 'He liked hardly anything better...' when it would be easier read as 'He liked nothing better...' And, though it only happened once, there was an unneccesary capital letter. 'even now, he thought, He still...' That should either be: 'even now, he thought, he still...' or 'even now, he thought, 'I still...' Other than those errors, I really found nothing wrong with it. It is an interesting story that will, undoubtedly, get more interesting as it is written. Keep writing!
	geschrieben von NicTei
	5 Star!!!!!!!!	495 Tage her
	That Story Is Awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your A Great Writter!
	geschrieben von .Distance
	Crazy	526 Tage her
	WOW! I LOVE IT!!! but the only problem is you have to watch the spelling. and it isn't enough star rating up there to really rate what i feel!~ Man! you know what i'll give you a 10!
	geschrieben von Kisha L