Bebo

The Midnight Tower <Themidnighttower>

(średnia ocena)

	:O	409 dni temu
	Wow. xD
	opublikowane przez Rachael
	Review	436 dni temu
	This is a well articulated piece, the information is provided in a clear manner and the scene is set, but there is an issue of priorities. One might expect that first you would refer to your character being alone/feeling alone (something of great significance in a first person character) save for the ferret in his life (unusual + significant) before going onto arguments with his parents as a specific causation to his mental state. Then end the prolouge on a dramatic note possibly regarding your characters perpencity towards suicide as to start and end on strong, attention grabbing notes. Chur
	opublikowane przez Ben Please
	NicTei's Here!! *Psycho Theme*	473 dni temu
	Well, I read through the Prologue, Chapter 2, and Chapter 3. I found some errors, and I'll try to list those. I thought the book started out well, giving the reader the basic info on Matt. I find myself craving more of the story. Errors I found (Prologue): ...Matthew Prince hated his family but it wasn't... Matthew Prince hated his family, but it wasn't... Then there was his mother, she... For impact, try: Then there was his mother. She... She was never mother to him, she was Belinda. She was never 'Mother' to him; she was Belinda. ...home schooling him, unfortunately his idea... ...home schooling him. Unfortunately, his idea... ...supplies so he... supplies, so he... Keep writing!
	opublikowane przez NicTei
	Honest Book Review as Requested	501 dni temu
	Its hard to get a good grasp of a story from scattered chapters as you have here, but overall it was quite good. On the whole, correct spelling and grammar. The only point I should make is your use of run-on sentences; I noticed them quite frequently and you should try and avoid them. For example, '…make up in an hour or so, this was…' Really the sentence should be split in two at the middle comma, or the comma replaced with a semi-colon. Also, small numbers should be words rather than digits. 10 or 8 would be a word, 12000 would be a digit. Your narrative could do with a bit more work though. You seem to have in mind an action-packed story, but the narrative reads a bit flat. It might just have been the scattered extracts but I had a hard time connecting with Matt. You say you are preparing to send off to a publisher, but I would hold back a bit longer. On the whole, it should be a very enjoyable book. I did enjoy what I read, but it does still need work. Honest.
	opublikowane przez Honest Book Reviews
	Review	503 dni temu
	[i never no what to put the subject as..anyway..] i did relate to chapter 3, i was bullied in primary and secondary school. it isnt easy finding a book that deals with bullying that easily, thought i do tend to search for good books when i have time. Your book is really good, the descriptions are really good!! though u got me addicted to it..until i realised i cldnt read chapter4 wld read chap 6, but im not sure how much info's been missed out.... keep it going
	opublikowane przez Ice Phoenix
	x]	510 dni temu
	First off, great job. As you probably already know, it isn't easy finding decent ficiton here on Bebo. I really like your style of writing. It flows nicely, nothing forced at all. And your characters, for the most part, are well-rounded individuals. The only thing that kind of bugs me is that there's a lot of exposition going on in the first couple of chapters. Writers don't just tell stories--they show them, too! I would have liked to actually "see" the scene where Matt is walking home, depressed, talking to himself and little Kaman pops up out of nowhere. I really like this. Kind of wish I could read the whole thing. XD Kudos and good luck on Book 2!
	opublikowane przez Michelle Lokket