The Longest Night <TLNstory>

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the story11/10/07
 

man that story was amazin plz write more it is fantastic ur very talented
 posted by Glen 
wat bout end???9/15/07
 

i thot itd be better but ended happy atlest
 posted by Kenneth Wilson 
The Longest Night....9/13/07
 

I gotta say this is awesome, I love the way you keep the reader wanting more and more, the first chapter starts off really well.

You get a glimpse of normal life for James and then "bam" straight in with death and chainguns, really fast paced.

The only thing I think thats letting the story down a little is that its very short, it could be so much longer and drawn out...but the well thought out storyline makes up for that.

I love it and can't wait to read more...
 posted by Adam James 
A great beggining to a great story7/5/07
 

I found that the story gave you alot of information because it supplies the reader detailed information. It is also very imaginative when the huey flies nearby and its chainguns start firing, this adds to the fact that the child had only just bought a video game which makes you think if the game had come to life. The story is getting much more tense now and it seems that it is tieing in a lot more with a video game because you are supposed to duck in and out cover and thats what he has done. All in all the tramp bit is amazing(take that you scummy tramp) :) I think the next chapter will be even more supprising.
 posted by Matty B 
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