|Write a Review|
This is a great beginning. It makes the reader feel like there is danger a foot!
The start is paramount - the middle is the meat - make sure and wow them in the end.
|posted by Eanna Cullen|
I only read the first chapter
It was very good
but it was a tad scaryyy lol
|posted by Jenn|
Good stuff, well written. The only thing is I find their access (and escape) to/from the asylum rather easy, and I can't believe there would only be person on duty there!
Tired of Death - http://TiredofDeath.bebo.com
Avarice! - http://Avarice1.bebo.com
|posted by China Ren|
wow this is amazing,more more more more!!!!!
|posted by Simone|
|i dont really get it....||5/19/07|
its okay, but i think it will be better when its been edited
i dunno wat it is, but sumtin about it doesnt seem quite right
|posted by Ciara B|
This has all the makings of a great novel. Well written, suspenseful and good characters (although the teenager hero is a bit Harry Potter and may struggle to get older readers to relate to it). The plot is a great idea but I find it hard to grasp the reality of it. Right away you take us right into the conspiracy. No facts.
If you were to expand it to novel size you could get right into the gritty stuff. I would have loved to see the build up to it. Ordinary people fall upon evidence, become suspicious, blah, blah, blah. Sure it would be a bit clichéd but it wouldn't be the first. Back up the conspiracy with real thought provoking facts. Have us thinking “Bloody hell, I never thought about that”
Great as it is, but think grander man…
|posted by Chris Stewart|
This is some really great stuff! I am really into this kinda thing at the moment, I have just finished reading 'Pig Island' by Mo Hayder and your work kinda reminds me of it.
I love your style of writing, Mystery Thrillers can sometimes be a bit too fast paced but I think your has got the right balance. I am currently on Chapter six (probably would have finished it by the time you read this) and I really want to know whats going to happen!
p.s. If you have a spare moment please check out some of my stuff and tell me what you think! I have poetry on: http://bbhncopoems.bebo.com and some fiction stuff on: http://bbhncoletters.bebo.com THANKS xxx
|posted by Rosie|
That was so good, BRILLIANT plot though a bit confusing I get it. Can u read my book n give a review? its at www.thelilypetal.bebo.com i need more comments cos I need info THX! Carry on writin pls cos I wanna read it!!!
|posted by Jujubug|
good book writing nicely check out one im working on www.pineapplesonstilts.bebo.com its not as good as urs lol but hey check out out if u can be stuffed
|posted by Nick Schmidt|
A good little twist, i like the way you amp up the tension in chapter 6 - keep going with it!
|posted by Cassandra Beckford|
|Write a Review|