Q. Why did Mr and Mrs McCann cross the road?
A. That's where they abandoned the kids.

Q. What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?
A. The Pope died a virgin.

Q. What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
A. Madeleine McCann jokes will get old.

Q. What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?
A. A tan doesn't dissapear until after the holiday.

Q. What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Elvis?
A. More people believe Elvis is still alive.

Q. What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?
A. Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.

Q. What have the parents of Madeleine McCann and Rhys Jones got in common?
A. They both know where their dead child is buried.

Q. What's dead and not newsworthy?
A. Madeleine McCann.

Q. What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and the Jews?
A. The Jews have some chance of celebrating this Christmas.

Madeline McCann's sister moans to her mother "I hate my sisters guts"
Kate McCann snaps back at her "Shut up and eat your dinner!"

Q. Whats worse then letting Micheal Jackson babysit your kids?
A. Letting the McCanns bring them on Holiday!

Q. Whats worse then letting the McCanns bring your kids on holiday?
A. Letting Katy French bring them to a gaf party!

NEWSFLASH!!!!
Maddie McCanns mam just got the vacant England managers job
The English FA said her record of losing only one in europe was just too good to resist

1. Full Name:--Liam Niall Thomas Hendrick
2. Nicknames:---Hendy or hendrix
3. Birthday:---21/9/1989
4. Place of Birth:---Dublin
5. Zodiac Sign:---virgo
6. Male or Female:---Male
7. Year---6th
8. School:---Maynooth post primary
9. Occupation:- former Head of Counter staff at Scenez Hall chinese take away
10. Residence:---Dona-freakin-dea!


__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color:---Brown
13. Hair Length:---2 round da sides nd short on top
14. Eye color:---U tell me
15. Weight:---12 stone!!!!
16. Height:---Im tall enuf
17. Braces?:---no
18. Glasses?:--- yeah but i never wear dem
19. Piercings:--- yeah me nipples!!!!!
20. Tattoos:---yea
21. Righty or Lefty:---Righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First Best Friend:--- Ciaran Doyle
23. First Award:---
24. First Sport:---Football
25. First Pet:---The fish we called the big 1 scar!!
26. First Real Vacation:---France in 1996
27. First Concert:---Oxegen last year
28. First Love:---Yo Mama!!

___ Favorites___

29. Movie:--- 300
30. TV programme:--- Lost
31. Color:---Red
32. Dj:--- Tiesto
33. Band:---Artic Monkeys
34. Song Right Now:---Do me a favour Arctic Monkeyz
35. Friends:---therez alot dont wana leave any1 out
36. Sweet:---Yes please!!
37. Sport to Play:---canoe polo
38. Restuarant:---Scenez hall
39. Favorite brand:---Nike
40. Store:--Dunnez great vodka n sausage rollz
41. School Subject:---History
42. Animal:--Turtle
43. Book:---sexual health for men!!
44. Magazine:---Nuts
45. Shoes:---K wiss
46. Feeling:---Horny

____Rit now_____
47. Single or Taken?:--taken
48. Have a crush:---yo mama!! specially nicolaz!!
49. Eating:---my nailz!!
50. Drinking:---Ribena
51. Typing:--Slow at it but yeah
52. Online?:---Yeah rit now!!!!
53. Listening To:--- the Strokez
54. Thinking About:---this summer!!
55. Wanting To:---Get laid
56. Watching:---Milan dickin on Man U 3-0
57. Wearing:-- a smile!!

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?:---YEa
59. Want to be Married?:---Been there dun that
60. Careers in Mind:---Pornstar
61. Where do you want to live:---Uganda
62. Car:---Anythin

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color:---anythin!!
64. Hair length:---just not a 2 on the sidez n short on top!!
65. Eye color:---ANythin!!
66. Measurments:---Is that a trick question
67. Cute or Sexy:---bita both
68. Lips or Eyes:---lipz like angelina jolie!!
69. Hugs or Kisses:--- Kissez
70. Short or Tall:---small
71. Easygoing or serious:---Eazygoing
72. Romantic or Spontaneous:---Both
73. Fatty or Skinny:--Just normal
74. Sensitive or Loud:---Load
75. Hook-up or Relationship:---Dont care
76. Sweet or Caring:---whatz the difference??
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One:---Troulbe maker
78. Decent or kinky:---Freaky Naughty!!
___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger:---Probably!!
79. Had Alcohol:---Im drunk rit now!!
80. Smoked:---dont tell my mam!!
81. Ran Away From Home:---My home ran away from me!!
82. Broken a bone:--No!!
83. Got an X-ray:---Yea
84. Been with someone:---Yea
85. Broken Someones Heart:---hopefully not!!
86. Broke Up With Someone:---Yea
87. Cried When Someone Died:---never been dat close 2 sum1 who died
88. Cried At School:---Yea O Domhnaill is such a dick sumtimez!!

___Do You Believe In___

89. God:---Not a chance
90. Miracles:---Yea....United have won the championz league b4!!
91. Love At First sight:---Yea
92. Ghosts:---Hell yea
93. Aliens:---Of course!!
94. Soul Mates:---yea
95. Heaven:---No
96. Hell:---No
97. Angels:---No
98. Kissing on The First Date:---2 rit
99. Horoscopes:---Yes

1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes and girls love that.


2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)


3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.


4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.


5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every girl needs some improvement.


6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.


7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "fuck you" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.


8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.


9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.


10. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?


12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.


13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.


14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.


15. Titty twisters and plenty of them.


16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.


17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.


18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.


19. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now don't call.


20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that.