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• Paddy Mc Parland
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Education Info

College:

Liverpool John Moores University, 2008
BSc Hons,Maritime Business & Management

School:

Abbey Grammar School Newry, 2004

Work Info

Employer:

Armagh Logistics Ltd.

Position:

Shipping Agent

Time Period:

July, 2004 - Present

City / Town:

Warrenpoint

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• The 32 County Rip

  Stage 1: Tyrone 10/06/07
  
  Left the aul GFC brave an late in the day headin for Tyrone around half nine, thinkin we should be there round half 10 at the latest....that was before I put Smythy an Shep in charge of navigating, I should have known better! Shep had well over his 3 pint limit in the club an Smyth was feelin the effects of his pints of Genius, you'd swear they'd been drinkin them straight from the tap or something!
  
  The craic on the way down the road was all about, the best time they'd ever had in the club and everyone agreed that Sunday had to be the best day’s craic 'ever'! Then there were other debates opened up which were argued back and forth and tensions began to rise, but the arguments stopped just short of punches being thrown...although Smythy did try and prove his point at one stage...
  
  "I'll show ya Mc Creesh! It is possible to piss out the window of a car while it’s driving!" Well Lord Jaysus but the next thing I know Smythy is droppin trousers and angling himself out the window for a wee bit of relief! he starts to declare "see I told ya" but his self praise was cut short when the car had to be pulled in as he couldn't keep the pressure in his hose strong enough an it began to leak at the seal!
  
  After that it was full steam ahead for the Glenavon...or so I thought, I've never seen as many piss stops on an hours drive in me life, a camel can hold 28 million gallons of water in its humps for 5 years (this may be an exaggeration), but these boys couldn't hold their pish for an hour!
  
  Stopped at a wee pub called Kelly’s for a carryout for meself before headin into the Glenavon…when the second pair of trousers (but not the last) were dropped to the floor. Well I turned round to look out the window but all I could see was a full moon staring back at me, Shep’s two bare arse cheeks pressed firmly against the windy and an audience sittin outside the pub cheerin him on!
  
  Before we set off on the road again, Fanta Pants (Smythy) got a call from Mc Gurk to see where we were…outside Omagh was the reply….it was at this point I realised I shouldn’t let the boys navigate….40 mile in the wrong feckin direction they took us!! Never fear though, we still made the Glenavon in good time thanks to some expert drivin!
  
  Into the car park we went an I popped open a bottle of wine to start me tour good and proper after about 5 mins, when Mc Creesh an finished climbing over the car an Mc Geeney realised that food goes in his mouth and not all over the car seat, the wine was finished and in we went!
  
  It’s around here that the night gets kinda hazy, there were plenty of vodka’s, Shep makin an ass of himself on the dance floor (as usual) Smythy an mc Geeney havin serious conversations an Smyth chucking his routine psycho act! That pretty much left me to stand at the bar and drink more vodka…not that I complained much!
  
  There were a few memorable moments, all by Mc Geeney of course, because rules don’t apply to him he can piss up against doors, smoke inside and throw full vodka’s at people if he wants…why? Because he can!
  
  Rounded off the night a man down, woke up the next morning getting phone calls to come and pick him up in the Glenavon and drive him to Maghera or something…can’t really remember what all that was about although I do know he paid £80 for a room that night
  

  0 Comments 308 weeks

• Cus i like talkin about me :)

  100 things about me…
  
  1. Full Name: John Gerard Peter Mc Parland
  2. Nicknames: Jay, Patsy, Mc P, Diggler, Dirk Diggler, Manwhore(thanks Siobhan).... I have quite the few
  3. Birthday: 28/10/85
  4. Place of Birth: Crazy Hill
  5. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
  6. Male or female: Male
  7. Grade: University...so underrated
  8. School: Liverpool John Moores
  9. Occupation: Stevedore....queue the confused faces
  10. Residence: Liverpool/Annacloughmullion...home of giants
  11. MSN Screen Name: Think it's 'anybody want a drink?'
  
  __Your Appearance___
  
  12. Hair Colour: Fair/blonde in summer
  13. Hair Length: Short
  14. Eye colour: Blue
  15. Weight: 12stone 11pounds
  16. Height: 6’0
  17. Braces? No
  18. Glasses? yea my YSL
  19. Piercings: none
  20. Tattoos: no but had a close call in new york
  21. Righty or Lefty: righty
  
  ___Your 'Firsts'___
  
  22. First best friend: shep
  23. First Award: cross country i think
  24. First Sport You Joined: Gaelic
  25. First pet: Tootsie the labrador
  26. First Real Vacation: Florida
  27. First Concert: Slane
  28. First Love: Betty Rubble
  
  ___ Favourites___
  
  29. Movie: Ach too many...Shawshank, Usual Suspects...loads
  30. TV programme: Scrubs, Friends...loads
  31. Colour: Blue
  32. Rapper: Chewing Gum
  33. Band: Too many choices...Snow Patrol
  34. Song Right Now: Fray - How to save a life
  35. Friend: all of them
  36. Sweet: Munchies
  37. Sport to Play: Gaelic
  38. Restaurant: Jade Garden
  39. Favourite brand: Smirnoff
  40. Store: Clockwork Orange
  41. School Subject: Sociology
  42. Animal: Dags
  43. Book: Dave Pelzer trilogy
  44. Magazine: The Star tv guide
  45. Shoes: Nice ones
  
  ___Currently___
  
  46. Feeling: happy...works near over
  47. Single or Taken? Single
  48. Have a crush: only i know that...and possibly someone who knows i have a crush on them
  49. Eating: nothin i'm starved
  50. Drinking: nothin i'm dehydrated...might die here
  51. Typing: This obviously
  52. Online? Obviously
  53. Listening To: Lorries driving past
  54. Thinking About: Chicken kebab pizza
  55. Wanting To: Chicken kebab pizza
  56. Watching: my computer
  57. Wearing: work clothes
  
  ___Your Future___
  
  58. Want kids?? sure why not leave a legacy of mini me's
  59. Want to be married? need a relationship first, more than likely
  60. Careers in Mind: Importing and Exporting
  61. Where do you want to live?? Where i build my house
  62. Car: will one day replace the fiesta...i used to hate it, but have grown quite found of the little girl
  
  __Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___
  
  63. Hair colour: Brunette
  64. Hair length: Not fussy
  65. Eye colour: green is mad but not fussy, blue, brown eyed girls lol love that song...
  66. Small or Tall: In between
  67. Cute or Sexy: sexy
  68. Lips or Eyes: Lips and eyes...they'd look strange if they didn't have both
  69. Hugs or Kisses: Kisses
  70. Measurements: i dunno i don't carry a measuring tape
  71. Easygoing or serious: Easygoing
  72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Spontaneous
  73. Fatty or Skinny: Neither, in between
  74. Sensitive or Loud: bita both
  75. Hook-up or Relationship: Hook-up...for now....still scared of commitment
  76. Sweet or Caring: Sweet
  77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: There all trouble!!
  
  ___Have you ever______
  
  78. Kissed a Stranger: Yea
  79. Had Alcohol: Yea
  80. Smoked: Yea
  81. Ran Away From Home: yes lol didn't make it far though
  82. Broken a bone: oh aye
  83. Got an X-ray: several
  84. Been with someone: Yea
  85. Broken Someone’s Heart: i hope not
  86. Broke Up With Someone: No i was kicked to the kerb
  87. Cried When Someone Died: Yea
  88. Cried At School: No
  
  ___Do You Believe In___
  
  89. God: Yea
  90. Miracles: Yea
  91. Love At First sight: no
  92. Ghosts: I live with one, she's called mary, she's quite friendly
  93. Aliens: no
  94. Soul Mates: yes
  95. Heaven: Yea
  96. Hell: Yea
  97. Angels: Yea
  98. Kissing on The First Date: yes
  99. Horoscopes: i get curious
  
  ___Answer Truthfully___
  
  100. Is There Someone You Want But Yo

  0 Comments 320 weeks

• Paddy's WEEK/End Liverpool '07

  Well this years festivities fell on a Saturday, quite convenient some would say, Guinness however just said it was ‘the luck of the Irish’….I tend to disagree with the genius that is Guinness here because in truth, Paddy’s day actually started on a Tuesday for some of us. This now means John is in a state of financial ruin once again and has possible liver failure…that’s what happens when your skin starts to turn yellow isn’t it?
  Anyway on Tuesday meself and a few others headed for Manchester to watch the scum play a European XI…now in theory ‘The Gut’s’ idea sounded like a good one, get a carry out, get the train, get a ticket and maybe go out. But in actual fact anything that is concocted in the cranium of ‘The Gut’ can only lead to chaos! Sure enough the day turned out to be an advertisement for MasterCard!
  
  Carry Out £5
  Train Ticket £8.50
  Match Ticket (from tout) £40
  Few Dodgy Burgers £10
  
  The boys missing the last train home……PRICELESS
  
  Now although going to Manchester was a bit of craic, it did mean I missed the first day of my annual betting season…Cheltenham started! This is the only time of year that I bet on the horses….for one reason or another….so I was suitably annoyed that I missed the first day, and the fact that JP was up money and I wasn’t, annoyed me that bit further!
  So Wednesday came and I was up bright and early to get my haircut before headin to the local to watch the races, conveniently my good friend William Hill lives next door to O Neill’s, so I didn’t have far to go to place a ‘wee’ bet
  Well by the time the first three races were over I was down about £40…not a good start, especially considering I hadn’t much money to start with and La Fheile Phadraig was only round the corner! By this stage the pints were flowin and the depression started settin in with meself, himself (the informer), JP and Conor. To make matters worse Miss Farrell and Loony landed in for a bite to eat and to laugh at our misfortune…but it didn’t take us long til we gave them the gambling itch and they were placin bets like they had money to burn….£1 each way please….not exactly going to win you a fortune! Well it came to the last race of the day and between gambling losses and pints, I was out a few quid, so it all came down to my 6/1 shot on Cork All Star…I’ll follow the rebels anywhere after that race for that horse pulled me out of a big hole, it cleared me debts for the day and gave me enough money to drink for the rest of the evening!
  Thursday was much the same, up early and into the local for a spot of bettin and suppin…now today wasn’t just as successful as the previous day…I made 25p in my winnings…but at least I was up money…until I started pinting again…money decreasing rapidly.
  Worse was to come, there was a strong breeze blowing across the irish sea coming from Belfast, I could smell trouble coming!...mind you it took its bloody time coming! Eventually though the big orange Easyjet bird did arrive carrying 3 very excited girls, one of which had consumed half the alcohol in the airport and all the drink on the plane…well so it seemed anyway.
  Let me introduce you to these fine ‘ladies’…if that’s what you could call them. The first is O’Hare, Louise of the O’ Hare clan from Belleek aka the Commander and Chiefs daughter…respect must be shown at all times IF YOU LIKE YOUR KNEES! The next is wee ‘quiet’ Noleen Donaghy from Corliss, some people also know her as the ‘leprechaun with terettes from Corliss’, and the other one…Siobhan Boyle from the scummiest city in the world…yea Newry….now she calls herself a classy bird, but to be honest I don’t know that many classy pole dancers?!?! Do you? She also has the pullin power of a John Deere tractor, she sees her prey, I mean victim, I mean target, I mean potential marriage material at a hundred yards away and she swoops down, latch

  2 Comments 321 weeks