1. You know the definition of the word "blumpy" and you've used/heard it so much that it's lost all meaning.

2. Nothing makes you shit yourself more than the sound of the fire alarm... It will haunt you for the rest of your life.

3. Instead of doing your washing you just buy more clothes from Primark.

4. Big Brother would be a piece of piss for you after living under the close scrutiny of Carol the caretaker.

5. You think Buckfast is equal to that of a fine chardonnay and your favourite "vintage" is a number 6.

6. You've slept with someone that lives about twenty feet away from you.

7. You can switch to autopilot and walk home from Belmont Street no matter how drunk you are as long as you are holding chips and cheese.

8. The Irish accent maes you feel more at home than a Doric one.

9. You've consumed twenty gallons of the Union's finest vodka.

10. Hollyoaks? More like Holy-oaks; it's a religion. You watch every episode at least twice and you're so involved that you feel like the characters are you friends.

11. You own more fancy dress garments than shoes.

12. You realise there's no point spending weeks doing coursework when you can do it all in a frenzy of terror and Pro-Plus the night before it's due in.

13. You know all of the Spar, CostCutters, Heavenly Pizza and Panda Valley staff by first name.

14. It feels strange and wrong walking down Belmont Street sober.

15. Jeremy Kyle is practically your father, you've learnt all of life's most important lessons from him.

16. You can recite the entire 1, 2, and 9 bust timetables.

17. You develop a deep loathing for the idiot that does their recycling at 9am on a Saturday morning.

18. You can fully and safely pilot a Morrison's shopping trolley.

19. You feel like Ray Mears at the end of the month, trying to survive on Supernoodles until your loan comes through.

20. It's acceptable to drink from saucepans, bowls, or tupperwear boxes when you run out of clean glasses.

21. You have enough TV Licensing letters to make a small forest.

22. You owe Aberdeen City Council a large number of their traffic cones/road signs.

23. Despite living with or around French people for a year, you still don't know any French, with the exception of profanities.

24. It is acceptable to be drinking cider at 11am.

25. You love Pocoyo like he's your own son.

26. You find it physically impossible to get up before mid-day on a Saturday, and you've missed every Thursday morning lecture this year.

27. You crave the luxury comforts of a sofa and bath.

28. You still don't know what's in that big blue box in the car park.

29. You've been in the Union so many times that the bouncers don't bother asking to see your ID anymore.

30. The sight of a 99p sticker makes you smile.

And Finally...

31. You're fucking glad you don't live at Woolman Hill!

Cheeeeeeesy quiz.

Hi, my name is: Victoria Claire Hay... makes me sound well swanky

but you can call me: vicky.

Never in my life have I: swung backwards from a collapsing rope bridge in hope of saving myself and the twelve hungry guatamalan orphans with me, but failing and perishing in the pit of molten lava below us after falling 200 feet into it while the orphans sing the swiss national anthem. and we're all dressed in tweed...

The one person who can drive me nuts is: i tend to avoid the people that bug the shit outta me. makes sense really...

My high school is: legendary. it really is as shit as it's name- "Buckie High" (perhaps i'm the only one that finds it humorous that my school is named after a shit drink and one of my favourite pass-times- hiiiiiigh)

When I’m nervous: can't remeber the last time i was nervous... think it resulted in an ambulance. haha.

The last song I listened to was: the simpsons theme tune, just watched the fiiiiiilm.

If I were to get married right now it would be to: someone pleasant that can make hats.

My hair is: a little crazy, no exaggeration.

When I was 4: i set all the african snails free in my nursery. they went friggin nuts at me and spent weeks following snail slime trying to catch them all again.

Last Christmas: was pretty depressing.

I should be; now there's something deep. should. brain meltdown.

When I look down I see: hahaha, an empty packet that says "Bunting, suitable for indoor or outdoor use, 10 meters, 20 flags" a shit computer game, my feet and batman jammas, sin city dvd, a skoobie, a receipt from the macduff aquarium, a battery charger. and i'm not making any of that up.

The happiest recent event was: my excitement and joy explosion the other day.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ : i'd be driven to fatal insanity, destroy every fucker out there that also resembled a cheesy happy american sitcom character and then brutally remove my own kidneys with a crayola felt tip pen in front of a mirror so i could watch myself bleed to death in such a brutal scenario as punishment for what i had stooped to. can't really say i'm a fan.

By this time next year: they'll have removed all the sugar, colour, fun and joy from smarties and will start selling empty tiolet roll tubes as a healthy economic ethical fairtrade blalanced vegetarian alternative.

My current gripe is: the friggin dog. it won't stop whing even though its been fed, loved and sent outside.

I have a hard time understanding: why i bother filling out these quizes. i seriously doubt anyone spends as half as much time reading this as i do creating it. i doubt anyone reads it at all...

There’s these girls: in the living room nextdoor. my little sisters are having a sleepover for their birthday. the same scenario enticed by the thought of me featuring in "friends" may commence soon...

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: you mam? haw haw haw....

I want to buy: things that exceed the value of money. getting slightly bored of materialism...

Where do you plan to visit: everywhere.

If you spent the night at my house: you'd be disinclined to return. unless yer ellie.

The world could do without: so many things... but they make us what we are :-)

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: whisky.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: a digital camera... for my little sisters birthday.

My middle name is: claire.

In the morning I: woke up at ellie's, had some tropicanna and went to elgin with mumsie.

Last night I was: at ellie's, watching copious amounts of family guy, bitching about everything and drinking cider (in reverse order..)

There’s this guy I know who: resulted in the bruise on my forhead. fucking cunt. gotta learn to stop headbutting the english!

If I was an animal I’d be a: cat.

A better name for me would be: oh-mighty-wonderful-one (gotta love the quadruple barreled names :p)

To

List 10 artists/bands that you've seen live

1. Tool
2. Manic Street Preachers
3. Trivium
4. Chemical Brothers
5. Mastodon
6. Iron Maiden
7. Daft Punk
8. Alabama 3
9. The Automatic :|
10. Pendulum


Song you wish you'd seen number 2 do?
You stole the sunshine. goddamn missed it. gotta see If You Tolerate This though tripped out my tree on acid. good times.

How many times have you seen number 3?
just the once.

Where did you see number 9 play?
Rockness. they were shite.

Favorite song number 8 played?
only got the last of their set! was gutted. sooo wanted to hear Woke Up This Morning.

Who did you see number 7 with?
Rory and Spadgey.

Favorite venue you've seen 4 play?
Only saw them the once. at Rockness, and that was fucking immense. They had a crazy laser show with giant green robots shooting lasers, but it was dark and all this thick mist came in off Loch Ness so it was real foggy and dark, made the lasers friggin awesome.

Favorite concert memory from number 6?
was pretty gutted with that show to be honest. they only played three classics, none of which were run to the hills or the trooper. the after party at Calum's was awesome though

Favorite song from number 10?
gotta be Slam awesome live.

Best thing about number 1's performance?
tool. everything. wow. best gig i've ever been to. the lasers, the trippy animations, the music, the crowd, lateralus, right in two, just wow.

Why did you go to see number 5?
cuz they were supporting tool. they were shite.

How old were you when you saw number 2?
17.

Favorite concert memory from number 8?
stood on top of the massive hill, pretty damn minced realising it was them playing and running down like WAAAAAH!

Best cover song you've seen from number 4?
They didn't do any covers when i saw them.

Would you go to see number 7 again?
yeah, but on less drugs and try get closer to the front.

Song you never really liked until seeing number 1 in concert?
Stinkfist. they opened with it.

Which albums do you own from number 6?
X-factor, death on the road, Killers, i think that's about it...

Worst thing about number 3's concert?
all the emos. not a trivium fan at all. but their circle pit was pretty impressive.

The only three songs that number 2 would have to play to make a concert?
You Stole the Sunshine, If We Tolerate This and Tsunami.

How far did you travel to see number 2?
Cullen to "Dores" about 10 miles from Inverness.

Best dance sequence you've ever seen from number 10?
can't say i was avidly observing their funky moves.



bah-hah!